Hitpig!: Le film

This movie was a complete disappointment. From start to finish, it was packed with cringe-worthy one-liners and forced humor that just didn't land. The characters felt hollow, with no personality beyond ignorance and shallow stereotypes, making it impossible to connect with them in any meaningful way.

I brought my five-year-old, hoping for a fun family experience, but within 30-35 minutes, she turned to me and asked to leave because, in her words, "this movie is taking too long." When even a young child can't stay interested, you know there's a problem. I've sat through some rough movies before without walking out, but this one really tested my patience.

Honestly, I don't understand how there could be any positive reviews out there. This movie was so disappointing that I felt compelled to warn others, even though I usually don't bother with reviews. I spent $17 on two tickets and another $19 on tea and popcorn, and I genuinely regret it. Save your time and money-this one just isn't worth it.

This movie is a complete trainwreck. It's as if Tommy Wiseau decided to make an animated film, and the result is this! Where do I even begin? The humor is painfully lame-poop and fart jokes galore. Who finds this funny? Changing adult swear words into "safe" alternatives doesn't make it clever; it makes it cringe-worthy. And the constant, forced references to famous movies and characters? Another failed attempt at humor that falls flat every single time. Oh, and let's not forget the Gordon Hamsy joke... why? Just why?

The main character, the pig, is horrifying to look at. His face is an unsettling mix of human features slapped onto a pig, making him outright ugly and unlikeable. The supporting characters are just as ridiculous-there's a nuke-shooting cat and an angry koala, as if the writers were pulling random ideas out of a hat. And don't get me started on the music-it's atrocious, with laughably bad singing that's almost insulting to listen to.

The plot? Weak and nonsensical. It feels like a fever dream of bad ideas stitched together with no thought or care. The only remotely tolerable part was the one minute of backstory for the pig, but that's not enough to redeem this garbage.

What's worse is that this isn't just a failure for adults-it's an insult to children. Kids are way smarter than the people who wrote, directed, or designed this monstrosity. Children's movies don't have to be dumbed down to the lowest denominator! This film is a slap in the face to animation as an art form.

I usually go easy on animated films because I know how much effort they take, but damn, this one deserves all the hate it gets. I wish I had listened to the one-star reviews. Don't waste your time or money on this dumpster fire.

Some movies don't always follow the source material it's based on. Sometimes it can be for better or for worse. Unfortunately, this flick seems to be in the latter half.

It's super chaotic and hard to sit through, with each moment barely giving you time to breathe as they move to the next scene. And when they do, the parts that they want you to pay attention to are the worst parts of the movie.

That's not to say it's completely terrible, however. Some of the jokes and nice moments do land well enough to keep you halfway interested in the flick, and the actor's performances (despite the subpar and fast-paced dialogue), if anything, are good enough to keep you entertained for a few bits.

But for the characters and the rest of the humor, let's just say the laughs were a bit of a low bar. From an angry koala that constantly plays the Angry Australian trope to the letter, the flamboyant mutant Polecat who can fart nuclear flames, to the subpar in-universe celebrity that everyone loves, and the constant outdated pop-culture references and butt jokes involving Pickles, let's just say this flick doesn't really step out of the lame kid-cartoon gags that much.

Overall, nothing really special, but nothing too bad either.

Hit Pig has an intriguing concept-combining a bounty-hunting pig with a runaway celebrity animal-but the execution leaves much to be desired. The animation is decent, with a colorful and energetic world, and the voice acting is solid. However, the film struggles with its tone, bouncing between slapstick comedy, action, and emotional depth without fully committing to any.

The dynamic between the main characters has its moments, offering some laughs and heartfelt interactions, but the humor can feel forced, and the story follows a predictable formula. While there are a few fun action sequences, they aren't enough to elevate the film beyond a standard animated adventure.

Overall, Hit Pig is watchable but forgettable. It has charm, but the pacing, humor, and storytelling don't quite hit the mark. Younger audiences may enjoy it, but for everyone else, it's just an okay ride.

A new animated movie has snuck into theaters called HITPIG!. Based on a children's book called Pete and Pickles by Berkeley Breathed, This is a story about Hitpig (Jason Sudeikis), a pig bounty hunter who returns escaped animals to their owners. Right off the bat, the title doesn't make sense, the pig doesn't kill anybody like a hitman. It probably should be called something like PETE THE BOUNTY HUNTER or just PETE AND PICKLES. He's literally named Hitpig. Moving on, he meets Pickles (Lilly Singh) the elephant who escaped from deviously arrogant Leapin' Lord of the Leotard (Rainn Wilson). They form a bond that makes Hitpig question his career and life. This movie is fine. I understand it wasn't made with me in mind. The humour is all over the place, sometimes aimed lower for kids, sometimes aimed a smidge higher. Lotta butt jokes. The story moves a mile a minute, sometimes literally, not letting you breathe. The characters are all talking fast, I did enjoy hearing Hannah Gadsby as a sassy koala though. The movie looks low budget, and I'm actually surprised it made it to the theater. There are a couple of good enough scenes about the family you choose. HITPIG! Is a fine movie I guess, but instantly forgettable and not worth spending money on, unless you have a young kid with ADHD who loves loud noises and bright colours.