The Scrotum

I've seen a lot of horror films where a lot of different types of monsters chase a lot of... well, pretty similar teenagers, but I never thought I'd be watching film about a killer... er, 'male appendage' shall we say (hey, the clue is in the title!). The closest I guess I've seen was 'The Killer Tongue' back in the nineties.

The title basically tells you everything you need to know about the film, but, if you want any more, a couple who are out camping run into some toxic waste when the man decides to shave 'down below' in the water. This causes one of the most hard-to-watch scenes any man will ever witness when the guy on screen uses a cut-throat razor to saw off... I'll leave it up to your imagination.

However, it doesn't end there (I wish the film ended there). Instead, the bl00dy pair of male dangling bits decide to chase and murder everyone they come into contact with.

Most of the hour-long movie is effectively one random stranger wandering through the woods before coming into contact with our titular monster and then coming off second best. We sometimes get 'point of view' shots from the scrotum's perspective and it's something similar to 'Evil Dead' where you see that thing in the woods constantly chasing Bruce Campbell about the place. I guess I'll never be able to watch any 'Evil Dead' movie again without wondering whether what Ash sees is actually a disembodied scrotum coming to possess him!

And that's about it. Some stranger is killed. Move on to the next until we're finally back with the girl who were met at the beginning of the film. Yeah, I guess it's a novel premise and - yes - that scene with the cut-throat razor was genuinely horrific, but even for a short film like this I can't really recommend wasting an hour of your life just for one gory scene then a 'rinse and repeat' format which follows until the end.

After shaving his balls in a lake contaminated by radioactive sludge, Tyler (Ryan A. Renfro) is compelled to hack off his knackers, the severed scrotal sac and testicles mutating into monsters that chase after Tyler's girlfriend Lindsay (Kelsey Tweed).

The Scrotum is cheap. Way too cheap to do its absurd premise justice. The special effects are cheap, the acting is amateurish, and the direction and editing are shoddy, with tacky scene transitions and uninspired tinted POV shots for the testicular attack scenes. The continuity also sucks, Lindsay grabbing a chainsaw to fight back against the rampaging genitalia, only for the saw to magically turn into hedge clippers.

There is the possibility that much of the ineptitude is intentional -- the totally inappropriate use of opera music and slow motion for the testicle attack scenes has to be deliberate -- but this doesn't alter the fact that The Scrotum is bollocks.

2/10. A real test(es) of one's patience.

A young couple, Tyler and Lindsay, are out camping in the great outdoors. They are getting very intimate but she won't "finish him off" unless he shaves off his pubic hair. So off to the lake he does trot and starts shaving his fake genitals. Unfortunately for Tyler some toxic waste has been illegally dumped in the water. He returns to unlucky Lindsay but during their resumed sex he experiences extreme pain and castrates his fake privates. His balls mutate into a blood thirsty monster and the rest of the film has numerous people killed in gory fashion. This is a very low budget movie so don't expect good acting or effects, much of the gore looks like offal from a butcher's shop and probably was. The ridiculous plot means that it's way too stupid to be taken as a serious horror movie, likewise it's not funny enough to work as a credible comedy either. Nice lakeside location though. The running time may only be 64 minutes but that was long enough. If you make it to the end credits then stick with it as there is a post credits scene, it really doesn't add much to the story but does last maybe a minute or so. So if you are looking for a silly short gore fix and provided you don't mind micro budgets then Scrotum may be worth a look.

This movie is only 64 minutes yet feels like a lifetime. Pointless slo-mo and classical music does nothing for one particular seen. None of the characters endear themselves to you. A guy was dragged off the toilet while taking a dump, nothing in the toilet, completely clean. More padding than a fat girls ass. Again slo-mo and classical, don't they realise this is a movie about killer testicles. One of the characters was a scientist help to develop this chemical agent but is also one of the guys that drove a barrel of it in a van to throw in some random river but not using a suitably sturdy barrel to survive the fall. I actually like B movies but save yourself an hour and avoid.

It's a very progressive movie. Not many films are willing to show a mans scrotum but this movie is made by a true creative. When someone dies in the movie, they have died. The various qualities of camera used throughout the movie help to build an atmosphere of confusion and dread that you feel in every part of you. As a resident evil fan, this movie was made by a person who had probably played a resident evil game. There was a protagonist. This film also has many actors of various religious backgrounds and genders. But most of you don't care about all that, if you are looking for a film for all the family, Shrek the Halls is alright.