Cinderella: A Comic Relief Pantomime for Christmas

[doing the introduction for the second half of the show]

Claire Foy: Thank you so much for your generosity, and do keep giving if you can. Meanwhile, in Fairyland, poor Cinderella...

The Fairy Godmother: [cutting in] Hey! Foy, get out of it! You can't go around taking other people's roles!

Claire Foy: Oh, I see, but it was fine when you took over from me, was it, "ma'am"?

The Fairy Godmother: Yeah. Deal with it. I'm the Fairy Godmother and I'm the Queen.

Baron Hardup: Ladies, ladies, this is a charity pantomime, not a competition to find out who's the best Queen on Netflix.

Cinderella: Oh, come on. We all know who'd win that one.

[goes in a "Queen's Gambit" pose]

Cinderella: Checkmate.