Spider from the Attic

You know a movie like this is gonna fail when the FX are terrible.

Even all those hot girls could not save this awful movie sadly bad at everything acting script story etc.

As i have said before, when the writer is the Director, dont expect much and thats what we have here. There needs to be a "common sence person" position in film making. Yup, a person whos responcibility is to call out the garbage as it happens so it can be corrected, thus avoiding a cluster fk like we have here.

An aging woman needs to dial things up as her tv show is losing ratings. She decides on a road trip to interview a Doctor doing experiments on Animals. Ok, doesnt contact the guy in advance, shows up without a film crew? Serious rookie writer? Oh this is going to be a great tv show! Ok, dude is dead. Spiders all over, they decide to stay for awhile?

Ok, a fresh decent idea for a movie. Bad script leaves actors on their own. More or less unknown cast, other then Chelsea Greenwood who i have seen before & who does a great job here, as usual. The movie does have cool set location and decent camera work. The lighting isnt too good and the sound is horribile. You cant watch this late night. I had my 5.1 100 watt per channel cranked just to try and understand the whispering by folks with extreme accents. Gather 6 Cajun people from the Louisiana Bayou mix the sound so everything is twice as load as the vocals, thats about what you have here. The sound folks killed this movie. Ok, CGI on par to maybe stuff being done in the early 90s? Yeah, a good 35 years behind. Made it look like an early Full Moon movie. Its just like landscaping. If you cant afford to do it right, then make other plans. The cheesey spiders put this in the sub B movie bracket.

The ending. As thought money ran out and the credits roll. Much like many Hammer films. At home we refer to this as a "Hammer ending". You endure 90 minutes, then in the last 2 minutes everything is resolved. Just like most films of the 1930s.

Is short, the Common Sence person would have been all over this. Maybe i need to start a business? Producers Ego Deflating LLC?

Its just amazing how folks can do this and really feel that its good. Unfortunately there are many people making movies that just arent very good at it.

I'll admit, I was scared s#%^*less in the first scene because the thought of looking at a spider of film terrified me. Once I worked up the courage and actually looked up, seeing the terrible SG spiders calmed my nerves. Bad acting and bad plot also helped ruin it. Gave it a two for the initial shock. There are better things to watch.

A spider is creepy because it's creepy. The makers did not realize that a spider is a winning team already. They have tried to make the spiders more creepy. As a result the spiders became laughable. Haha.

I only write reviews when absolutely compelled. My sorrow goes out to the actors because they all showed potential and were likeable/dis-likeable based on their roles. I would have given them more points but someone needed to smack the directors and scream "Seriously, Come on, please let me act, give me a real line." Unfortunately, they were directed to say the dumbest/worst lines possible throughout the movie and were not allowed to act out the scenes with any realism. Example: Lots of men and women lose their minds/wits when they see just one tiny spider. Here are half a dozen women who barely react when they see creatures which resemble giant spiders with tails and teeth. If you decide to watch, it will be painful as you will see the actors make the exact opposite decision even the most idiotic person would have handled better in every possible scenario. We are all used to seeing the one or two actors in the script required to die for a good scare or because they are the villains; however, when all of the actors repeatedly make dumb decisions, over and over, from beginning to end, it makes you realize it's not the actors fault. There was one rediculous sequencing error where one of the lead actors saw a spider the size of a 40lb dog and then never mentioned to the other actors, instead she went on as if the only spider in the house was the one in a glass aquarium which was 25% the size. One of the worst directed movies I've seen, lots of wasted potential even with the limited CGI.