White Elephant

This film isn't a masterpiece at all, it's not terrible, but not good either. I enjoyed John Malkovich's two scenes which both included with his Ancient Greek history lessons, but didn't really see why he was even in the film whatsoever, his scenes were pretty pointless.

The actual story is a bit of a mess, but also somewhat simplistic, and the dialogue was pretty poor throughout, its like an amature wrote half of what the cast were saying.

Few too many plot contravenes throughout. The action, although comical at times, was actually good. Good action with a decent amount of gore, and a flying head near the end.

Sadly though,Bruce Willis is just a shell of his former self, how the mighty have fallen, and it's quite sad. You could tell he just filmed his scenes in about 60 minutes, and didn't really do a good job delivering his lines, just pretty much said them.

Went into this film with really low expectations but it turned out to be a silly yet slightly amusing action film. Wouldn't exactly go out of my way to watch it or recommend it to anyone, but I wasn't exactly bored for 90 minutes.

I suspect this was actually written by a 12-year-old and some of his buddies. It was comically bad from the start. I never saw so many people get wasted while standing around jabbering with someone with a gun while they themselves had guns hanging at their sides as if they had no idea what was about to happen. And then there were the gunfights in the middle of the night in residential areas that apparently had been evacuated.

You never really know what the motivation is for any of it, and poor Bruce Willis is so stiff it's sad to see. I guess they got him for the name recognition, but they could have used literally any older actor for his part - or merely grabbed someone off the street and fed him lines the way they likely fed them to Bruce.

Malkovich has become one of those actors whose movies you want to avoid, as I haven't seen him in anything good for some time, and he pretty much plays the same part in all of his later films. Olga K. Is also an actress who, while nice to look at, typically only plays in dogs.

But I did give this a four because I think it has some entertainment value as a comedy, as I was laughing out loud through parts, and it definitely isn't short on action. It's nothing more than a time waster, but I've wasted time watching worse.

Don't bother watching this because if you've seen the last ten movies in which Bruce Willis makes a cameo, this one is just more of the same. Gratuitous violence, tiresome, faux tough-guy dialogue, and mind-numbingly stupid gun-play don't make for much when it comes to entertainment, as if just throwing these elements into a pot will somehow produce anything fit for adult consumption.

Does this film have a story? It's hard to say when they hurl an endless torrent of blood and bullets at the audience in an attempt to distract you from the fact that if there is a story, it's too unoriginal to even mention. I've never played a video game, but I would imagine that Grand Theft Auto has more of a plot than White Elephant.

You can't even blame the actors in the movie. It's like pulling a bunch of garbage from the dumpster and expecting someone to cook a meal with it.

A few things writers of action movies should already understand:

• Drywall will not stop a round from an assault rifle, neither will a car door. Some high-powered rounds can go through an entire house and still kill you.

• If you want to kill someone on the sly, don't use a gun as it's too messy, especially if you are then going to take the body somewhere else to disposed of it. Just take the live guy to the disposal area, then get rid of him. If the cops stop you on the way there, it's a lot easier to explain a guy in the back seat than a corpse in the trunk.

• Try reading books so that everything you write isn't exactly like the last twenty movies you streamed. I doubt Hollywood writers can be bothered to read books, this seems obvious from their output of puerile doggerel like this film.

• If you can't choreograph a decent gun battle, stop thinking that five more in the film will improve things.

The villains in this movie are the dumbest ones ever. They act so stupid that it's impossible for them to survive till that age in their own movie realm. I don't know how and why people give green light to such movies. It's one of those 'traps' with 'Bruce Willis' and 'John Malkovich' written with caps to lure innocent film freaks.

Okay, Michael Rooker is a character actor who you know and love but for love nor money do you know his name?

This is an odd film - if not for Willis and Malcovich, it would be a B movie, but it's a good one - IMHO.

LOTS of bad guys! Tons of shoot 'em ups. No car chases.

The elephant in the room is Bruce Willis. Yes, this isn't his best, but he's still Bruce freaking Willis! I'm betting John Malcovich came along for the ride to be with his buddy Bruce. That's what friends do.

This is not Emmy or Globe material, but it's a fun movie to help pass a rainy afternoon or dull evening. Enjoy it for what it is.