Massacre à la tronçonneuse 3D

Any time a classic horror movie is remade or rebooted there's a great chance it's not going to be good. This is not a good movie. The plot is pretty stupid. There is some bad dialogue. Forget about how much you like the original and just watch some people get hacked up for barbecue.

Texas Chainsaw is the latest movie in the long-running series and a film that aims to be a direct sequel to the Tobe Hooper original, pretty much discounting the various others that have come along since. To be honest, these movies have such a gruelling premise that it's difficult to go wrong with them; a premise that screams horror and disturbing imagery all the way, so you'd have to be a really bad filmmaker to screw it up.

This film feels very much like a modern horror movie. It's incredibly fast paced, with action going on all the while; a film filled to the brim with chase scenes, quick-fire dialogue and constant movement. It ups the gore quotient considerably, so that we're subject to bodies being chainsawed in half and the like, while at the same time the genuinely disturbing atmosphere of the first film is long forgotten. It's horrible, but not horrifying. There's something cartoon-like about watching Leatherface on the rampage here.

Unfortunately, the story does take some very silly twists along the way, particularly towards the climax, and the ending is very poor. Not only does it feature a horrible bit of CGI effects work, it mixes up and muddles its morals and features some unbelievable behaviour on the part of the characters. I had the feeling things would turn out this way but it's too abrupt and nonsensical compared to what's come before, the tone is all wrong.

Still, it's not all bad. The cast are young and hip, and give some not-bad performances although they don't really wow you. The person making the least impact is Scott Eastwood; you register him as Clint's son from appearance alone, and certainly not from acting talent. Still, Alexandra Daddario is fine as a potential scream queen and it's nice to see her given the opportunity to shine in a leading role after playing support in the likes of PERCY JACKSON AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF. The direction isn't too bad, and the early scenes tying it into the original work well, but this is light, cheesy and forgettable fluff in the end, nothing more.

Sadistic campy entertainment that is glorious! I'm one of very few people that appreciates Texas Chainsaw, oddly I saw in the theater and was traumatized a little. Dan Yeager did great as Leatherface! The cinematography is pretty good and I am satisfied with the way everything occurs.

Is Texas Chainsaw 3D a good movie?... well that depends. If you can't get past a stupid script, cardboard characters and the fact that by the implied time line our plucky heroine (Alexandra Daddario) should be in her 40s not barely in her 20s, then, no. But, if you can sit back and just enjoy a hot babe running around being pursued by a chainsaw wielding maniac who has a knack for carving up her stupid friends, then, yes, it's unintentionally goofy, gory fun. Chainsaw 3D is a direct sequel to the 1974 classic that opens with a vengeful redneck mob laying siege to the house occupied by Leatherface and a lot of other family members that weren't there in the original. A baby is found on the property and we cut to 2012 (the date is confirmed on a tombstone as September 2012) where Heather (Daddario), has magically only grown up to be 20 something and is an amazingly hot butcher at a supermarket. She soon gets word that her grandmother (original Chainsaw heroine Marilyn Burns), that she didn't know she had, has died and left her a house in Texas. Whoa! Adopted and now rich! Heather goes down to the house with some generic stereotype friends who seem handpicked to be murdered which is smart because there just happens to be another family member living hidden in the house like Bad Ronald (70s TV movie reference. Google it.) and he just happens to like world peace, romantic evenings, chainsaws and wearing peoples faces. Before you can say,gratuitous ass close-up, Leatherface emerges from hiding and starts hacking up everyone he can find. Throw in some sleazy rednecks, some redneck cops (including Scott Eastwood, Clint's son) and it's a redneck smörgåsbord...literally as the body parts fly fast and furious. Sure, director John Luessenhop doesn't really generate much suspense or scares from the incredibly dumb script but, Chainsaw 3D reminded me of some of the lower tier 80s slasher flicks that were entertaining despite and because of how bad they were. There are numerous references to the original flick and I just had fun watching a chubby, balding Leatherface carving up all the unlikable characters when not chasing his hot cousin around trying to kill her. Alexandra Daddario was a fine (and I mean FINE) and feisty heroine and I liked her character's twist once she finds out who she really is and that she now has to buy her chainsaw wielding cousin a Christmas Card every year... if he lets her live. Yes, Chainsaw 3D is a very dumb and silly horror flick but, it also is blood drenched fun if you go in not expecting much and stop comparing it to the movie it's trying to honor. And despite how bad it's written, the film is trying to honor it's roots and we get some fun cameos to prove it and when it's all said and done it can be a good time if you just sit back and enjoy watching hot chicks in peril and sleazy rednecks meeting chainsaw justice. A few beers before the show wouldn't hurt... if fact it might be a good idea.

This movie starts with the 1974 movie. After Sally escaped, police officer Hooper goes to the Sawyer house and tries to arrest Leatherface. However an angry mob gets to the house and massacres the family instead. One of the mob kidnaps a surviving baby. Years later, that baby is now young Heather Miller (Alexandra Daddario). Suddenly she inherits an estate from a grandmother she didn't even know she had. She goes back to Newt Texas with 3 friends (Trey Songz, Tania Raymonde, Keram Malicki-Sánchez) and a hitchhiker (Shaun Sipos). There they encounter Leatherface who's been kept in the basement. Only there are more villains than the chainsaw wielding brute.

There is a flip in this movie. It's tantamount to blasphemy. It's probably why there are so many haters. But I almost feel like it's a badge of honor for a horror movie to flip the accepted view on its head. If you can't destroy the sacred in a horror movie, then where are we going to do it.

The best thing in this movie is Alexandra Daddario. It reminds me why I had her as one of my preferred choice to be Wonder Woman. Now I hate the Gal Gadot selection even more. She holds the movie even better than Jessica Biel. She's super hot. She can act. She has physicality. This is a well acted, well filmed, and an interesting take on the franchise.