The Highwayman

So here's the thing, it's really hard to get a proper read on the seriousness of the film, the best one word I can use to describe this film is soulless, and I won't sugar-coat it: The Highwayman: The Legend of Dick Turpin is so laughable it's extraordinarily bad.

To be fair, the story itself isn't always the issue. There's a vaguely romantic subplot between Turpin and the Earl's daughter that's clearly intended to add depth and tension, but it's hard to invest in when everything around it is so poorly executed. The acting is awful, and bizarre at times.

The performances are delivered with such an odd seriousness that you keep waiting for an over-the-top punchline or some comedy to kick in which it never does.

The storytelling is cheesy, the facial expressions are unintentionally hilarious, the villian is mockingly like a cartoon, and the whole thing feels like it's walking a strange line between parody and sincerity, but without committing to either. I don't like to hate on films too harshly, but after the initial fight scene in the woods at the very beginning, it was painfully clear what kind of ride we were in for.

I could understand this being a school project or amateur indie effort, but how this was funded as a feature-length film, I'll never know.

1/10.

It's cartoonish. If they were going for a parody of the era, they missed the mark by making it AmDram. It feels as though the writing was taken from the pantomime. There's a skirmish between two of the characters and it looks like they're dancing and that's not an exaggeration. The schemes that are supposed to show the ruthlessness of the head-villain are so ludicrous as to be unfathomably bad. Not to spoil anything, but don't watch this, there's a strange scene after strange scene. It very much feels like they intentionally made a terrible film because making it better would have looked like they were trying to make a good film but failed: this way they look like they were trying to make a bad film and in that they have succeeded. It gets worse as it goes on.

The fun starts in the opening scene. The Highwayman hero, brandishing a flintlock pistol, stands in the road as a coach approaches. As the coach comes into view, the highwayman fires his pistol into the air (a warning shot, no doubt) then he points the pistol at the coach and demands, "Your money or your life!" He has already spent his load! 18th century flintlocks were not repeating firearms. What kind of highwayman threatens a victim with an empty gun? THIS kind of nonsensically written, low-budget, poorly acted highwayman is the kind of hero that almost entertains in this shoddy piece of almost funny escapism.

The film makers try hard but just do not achieve Ed Wood standards of humor. The sets are a bit too tidy, and the actors lack that sense of devotion to the material despite the odds that could have made this a true gem, like say, Beretta's Island. Rather, it just muddles along, content with its own mediocrity, failing to rise to the genuine entertainment of a truly bad movie.

I like this genre of movie, tight action, swashbuckling high links, horse chases, heroic endeavours... Oh wait, there is none of that in this movie. Okay, what you do get is a lame horse, so to speak. I'm not sure if it is the cast or the bad writing, but this movie doesn't feel authentic. The story is so so, if not a little predictable and has a villain that seems to be from another movie altogether.

Sure, I understand low budget constraints so 5/5 for that, but 4/10 is my score.

One thing I noted was the British actors playing the roles in a British story, glad it was not completely ruined by, shall we say, other actors from across the pond. 😃

Conclusion: Not bad and not good; mediocre.

Anyone remember "Carry On Dick" (1974)? Well it's probably got more going for it than this lacklustre drivel. It's Morgan Rees-Davies who takes up the mantle of England's legendary highwayman who finds himself in hot water after he inadvertently kidnaps the daughter of the Earl of Pembroke (Steven Dolton). Now we're not quite sure who has got the worst of this captivity, for "Elizabeth" (Mollie Hindle) is no shrinking violet. Indeed she rather relishes the freedom and excitement of a life devoid of corsets and curtsies. Meantime, her duplicitous fiancé "Winthroppe" (Tom Hendryk) is out to fleece her rather penniless and clueless father so he can take over their house under which might be some lucrative mines, and, well... Most of the swash and buckle here is left to the Aiden Turner-esque Ciaron Davies in the role of "O'Reilly" and to be fair to him, his is really the only thing remotely close to engaging here. It might have looked good on paper after a few yards of ale, but on screen this is a poorly conceived concept that doesn't really deliver on any level. The acting skills are basic, delivering some dialogue that rather optimistically tries it's hand at the odd bit of black humour before an ending that would have made Sid James look like an Oscar winner. Good story, strong theme and plenty of opportunity - instead we get a weak and listless drama that struggles to make it to ninety minutes.