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An outstanding film-in fact, the best I saw at this year's Berlinale. Watching it, I couldn't help but feel echoes of The Substance (2024), as it masterfully balances fantasy, horror, and an almost suffocating intensity centred around the theme of motherhood.

*** Rose Byrne delivers a phenomenal performance, one that earned her a well-deserved award in Berlin. The film leans heavily on her presence, and rightly so-her portrayal is what makes the experience so gripping. We see, hear, and feel everything from her perspective, yet that very subjectivity leaves room for doubt. Are we witnessing reality or a distorted, anxiety-fuelled version of it?

*** The cinematography amplifies this tension brilliantly. The use of tight close-ups throughout most of the film creates an unsettling sense of imprisonment, mirroring the protagonist's internal struggle. It's only in some moments of relief that the camera pulls back, giving us fleeting glimpses of the world beyond her immediate perception. This directorial choice not only strengthens the script but also deepens the film's psychological impact.

*** If I Had Legs, I Would Kick You is an immersive, nerve-wracking experience-a must-see that will undoubtedly find its place on many cinephiles lists for the 2025 best movies.

Rose Byrne gives us an emotionally charged, no-holds barred performance as Linda in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You. It's obvious from the first scene that Linda is running on fumes - she's drained of energy and running in circles. She feels invisible. And then the roof falls in. Literally. A giant piece of her bedroom ceiling, along with a torrent of water, collapses into her home, leaving a gaping, bizarre, somewhat mystical hole above the bed, while also flooding the unit. So Linda and her daughter relocate to an unnamed beachside hotel in an anonymous city, to await reconstruction.

Linda is a professional therapist, in dire need of therapy for herself. She listens to others, yet no one in her life listens to her. "You're not listening to me" is Linda's oft-repeated statement. She's surrounded by people who ignore her. The therapist/associate she sees semi-professionally (Conan O'Brien) has so removed himself from caring about her feelings that he isn't given a name in the film. He shuts the door on her face. There are hints of a shared past, an unprofessional personal relationship. Now he is not even pretending to listen to her. He's frequently antagonistic and is extremely unlikeable.

Her daughter (Delaney Quinn), also nameless, but we'll call 'Child', lives with a chronic medical condition. Child has a feeding tube inserted in her stomach and sleeps hooked to an ever-beeping monitor. Child's face is never seen; we only get glimpses of her ear, toes, stomach and the back of her head. Yet she's heard constantly. Always anxious, whining about everything and never listening to what Linda tells her to do. The audience definitely wishes Linda would stop deferring to Child; it becomes exhausting and makes Linda look even more invisible. Linda is also consumed with guilt about Child's condition. "It's my fault" is Linda's self-diagnosis. Maybe it's because she was present when Child's tube was first inserted, and, as her mother, as well as the continual 'victim' of other people's misbehavior toward her, this is how Linda views herself. 'Everything is my fault. I am invisible'.

Mary Bronstein performs triple duty in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You. Not only is she Child's physician, Dr. Spring, she is also the film's writer/Director. Dr. Spring certainly doesn't listen to Linda, especially about the feeding tube. Linda wants to remove it to see if Child will eat on her own; Dr. Spring won't even discuss it, pushing Linda's anxiety into overdrive. "Maybe I doesn't know what's best for my own daughter." More self-doubt.

The disembodied yet umistakeable voice of Christian Slater is Linda's husband, Charles. He's MIA from the marriage, probably for a very long time. He's in the military, but doesn't seem to be enlisting in anything more pressing than choosing to avoid his family and berate Linda at every opportunity. He's literally phoning it in; Linda frequently hangs up on him and then apologizes. Self-loathing.

Linda has patients who enlist her services as a therapist. Occassionally they DO listen to her, but only to nurture their own delusional behaviors. One of them physically disappears during a session, abandoning her toddler with Linda. Even the woman at the hotel's mini mart ignores her when she goes in to purchase some wine. The only person who pays any sort of attention to her is James (A$AP Rocky), her hotel neighbor. He sees her, maybe the first person in a long time who does so. He listens to her. His performance provides some needed comic relief in the film, and gives Linda a semi-sane person to relate to.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is populated with many intentionally unlikeable characters. Bronstein explores how women can unintentionally become invisible even to themselves, losing who they are while trying to accommodate everyone else's demands. Yet she bookends her film with images of water drenching our soul-drowned protagonist, clearly symbolizing Linda's need for an emotional cleansing. The washing away of years of mental sludge buildup. There is also an unmistakeable analogy between the hole in the ceiling and Child's stoma; dealing with each further debilitates Linda to the point of inaction.

Though I enjoyed the film for the most part, I believe with one change, the film could have been truly remarkable. That change - eliminate the physical character of Child. You rarely see her, you only hear her. If you see the film, consider this option: Child no longer exists. She has already passed away. Yet the audience doesn't know that till the end. The character now lives solely in Linda's ragged mind. In that case, Byrne's performance, and the film, would have been mind-blowing. With so much of the film steeped in anonymity, with invisibility, it would have made the plot all the more unforgettable. A different take on "I see dead people", and we know how influential, movie-wise, that reveal was for Bruce Willis and Director M. Knight Shyamalan.

Our first MIFF 2025 film was the Sundance hit "If I Had Legs I'd Kick You" - and wow. This is a devastatingly honest portrayal of motherhood, and that never-ending guilt parents seem to carry like a second skin. Mary Bronstein doesn't hold back; it's anxiety-inducing in the best possible way, the kind of film that has you gripping your seat and feeling your pulse in your ears.

Rose Byrne is phenomenal - so raw and vulnerable you almost feel like you're intruding on her private moments - and I adored A$AP Rocky's character, this unexpected, grounding presence in all the chaos. The whole thing is a full-tilt descent into madness, claustrophobic and relentless, but you can't look away. One of those films that leaves you wrung out but oddly grateful for the experience.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You feels like it could be the breakaway hit of Sundance 2025. As with many of the films at the festival, I sat in on a press screening not knowing much about the movie beyond the brief blurb in the program. I chatted with the person seated next to me about the films we had seen and how we had both heard some good buzz about this film. The lights dimmed, and the first thing that appeared on the screen was the A24 logo. We immediately turned to each other, and expressed a mutual "Ahh!". Sure, they're behind a few clunkers, but in general, when I see that A24 is behind a project, I perk up. Their films are just plain different.

Writer and Director Mary Bronstein has presented a challenging portrayal of motherhood that is uncomfortable to watch. Shot almost entirely in close-ups, the atmosphere is claustrophobic, frenetic, and oppressive, with no lingering establishing shots to allow the viewer to orient themselves. We are forced into Linda's personal space, feeling almost like we're invading her privacy: the camera is focused on Linda in almost every shot. If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is about challenging the audience to confront truths about motherhood, guilt, and the emotional divide between cultural expectations and personal reality. Imagine Nightbitch, but without the quirkiness.

The plot centers around Linda (Rose Byrne), a psychotherapist trying to balance her job with her 10 year old, nameless daughter who suffers from some sort of unnamed illness that demands she receive constant care and attention. The daughter is faceless throughout the film and connected to a feeding tube, the umbilical cord that Linda desperately wants to sever. The focus here isn't on the illness itself, but on Linda's emotional and physical exhaustion, and her growing resentment. Similar to the disturbing We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011), the film explores the taboo subject of a mom who has never bonded with her child. Here, Linda is self-medicating with drugs and alcohol and making other questionable choices, all the while trying to counsel other people.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a film of metaphors and layers of emotional nuance. Early in the movie, Linda experiences a flood in her apartment that leaves a huge hole in the ceiling, forcing her to move into a cheap motel nearby. Despite her efforts to coordinate repairs, the hole simply isn't getting fixed. A recurring theme is Linda needing help and not getting any, and this huge hole in her life is just getting bigger. She keeps returning to the apartment, only to discover that no work has been done on the hole.

The movie also explores the theme of being "seen". Linda's interactions with others, including her therapist (a chillingly detached Conan O'Brien), reflect her frustration with being unable to find the support she needs, despite her constant pleas for help. Her husband is a ship's captain, off at sea, and offers no support. He can't understand why Linda isn't getting the ceiling fixed. The most grounded character in the film is her motel neighbor James (A$AP Rocky) who literally calls her out for being a neglectful mom. I guess he's the only person who does actually "see" her in the way we, as an audience do. James's confrontations with Linda are in stark contrast to the others who largely ignore or misunderstand her struggles.

It's difficult to convey the chaotic energy in this movie and the sense of being out of control. What if you don't feel the love towards your own offspring the way you are expected to? If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a film that tackles motherhood head on and offers no easy conclusions. It's an exhausting experience and I loved it. It's only January, but I'm sure this will be in my top ten list in December.

Let's start off with Rose Byrne. A hardcore powerhouse actor! She didn't relent and captivated me with her performance. Next, Mary Bronstein is a brilliant director. You just need to watch it! I just hope you come in with an open mind- actually, an open heart. Oh!! And absolutely genius cinematography by Chris Messina.

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? What's the worst thing that's happened to you today? These questions were posed by writer/director Mary Bronstein to introduce her new A24 movie called IF I HAD LEGS I'D KICK YOU. Like me, you probably just chuckled. The more I think about it, the title is actually perfect. It encapsulates the tone of this panic attack of a movie so well. At times it's humorous, but it's mostly drama with very heavy subject matter and themes. It's about the unraveling of Linda (Rose Byrne), a therapist and worn-down mother of an ill child. A ceiling in their home collapses, starting a chaotic chain reaction of stress-inducing events. Metaphorically, she keeps having her legs kicked out from under her, hence the amazing title. This is a really well-done movie. The metaphors and symbolism are top-notch, not being too obvious or preachy. The script keeps pace while it's shot with a lot of close-ups. Rose Byrne gives us an award-worthy performance. It's harrowing, raw, and relatable. A lot is put on a mother's shoulders, including blame and shame. They are the closest thing to superheroes that we can get. Hell, this is a superhero movie. Conan O'Brian is in this! Playing Linda's therapist, he actually does a great job. So does ASAP Rocky as Linda's neighbor. The director herself knows that this movie won't resonate with all audiences, but I think it'll definitely hit the people it's aiming for. IF I HAD LEGS I'D KICK YOU isn't going to be on my rewatch list, but it packs a lot into so many punches.

I saw this film at the Berlin Film Festival where it enjoyed a moderately enthusiastic reception by the audience on premiere night. "If I Had Legs..." depicts a challenging time in the life of a female therapist who struggles with a sick child, the child's teacher, her flat, a female patient, the absence of her spouse - who is in the Navy and on a long term assignment - as well as her own therapist (played almost completely emotionless by Conan O'Brien), and her demons and neuroses. However, what could have been a fascinating study of motherhood and the demands faced by modern women is little more than a cheap-looking indie drama that I found very difficult to sit through. The reason for that is that instead of delivering a realistic depiction of issues, the film primarily focuses on thrills and shock effects. It's basically one disturbing scene after the other. And because even that didn't seem to be enough for the director, she added unbelievably intrusive sound design that tries to put the viewer into a permanent state of alarm. But even this concept could have worked it the story would have been sound. It isn't though - everything seems incredibly contrived and unrealistic and bears no relation to the real world or the problems of real people. And none of the characters seem even remotely credible either. Their behaviour is completely devoid of logic, realism and humanity. Which leaves the dialogue, which also seemed extremely artificial to me. It was wonderful to see Conan O'Brien on the big screen, but even he was unlikable. Overall, this movie may be trying to sell itself as an ambitious, intellectual arthouse flick. But in reality, it's just 113 minutes of emotional waterboarding that left me feeling quite annoyed when it ended.

Let me start by saying that the acting is excellent all round. Meets and exceeds all expectations. But this film is the last thing we need right now. To me, it does not tell a truth about mothers, women or anybody. It's actually an insult. It's clear the goal is for it to be uncomfortable to view/experience, so that you feel the genuine discomfort in the situations that are portrayed. But it is insurmountably unpleasant as an experience. Example, I can't stand to see a baby cry. I want to comfort immediately. In this film you have to sit helplessly while a baby cries for what feels like twenty minutes. There's animal abuse & stories of same. It's just an awful and useless experience. Horrible film, in our opinion.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is one of those 2025 psychological suspense films that tries so hard to be profound that it ends up dull instead of daring. It's not a terrible movie - the filmmaking is competent, the performances are solid - but it's the kind of project that mistakes ambiguity for depth and leaves audiences more detached than intrigued.

The story centers entirely on one woman's perspective, and while following her journey should have created intimacy and intensity, it instead becomes monotonous. We rarely see anyone else, which strips the story of dimension and tension. It's a one-character show that forgets how important interaction and pacing are in sustaining suspense. The idea that her mental health might be unraveling is an interesting setup, but the film never commits to whether she's truly unstable or simply misunderstood - it dances around the theme without ever landing a real emotional punch.

Where the movie really loses itself is in its attempt to be "artistic." The endless dreamlike sequences, floating orbs, fragmented flashbacks, and surreal imagery feel more like distractions than layers of meaning. These stylistic flourishes could've been powerful if they connected thematically, but instead they come off as arbitrary. It's as if the director wanted to prove this was a thinking person's thriller without providing anything to actually think about.

The script doesn't do the story any favors either. The dialogue feels sparse and disconnected, and the pacing drags under the weight of its own self-importance. The film wants to make a statement about perception and reality, but it never gives the viewer enough clarity or tension to invest in that concept. What should've been a gripping character study ends up as an exercise in endurance.

Rose Byrne gives a strong performance - grounded, layered, and quietly expressive. She's the reason this movie stays even remotely watchable. Christian Slater, meanwhile, does what he can with a strangely underwritten role that barely fits into the story. Everyone else fades into the background, as if they're just there to fill empty space rather than contribute to the narrative. It's one of those films where the casting feels off - like the puzzle pieces were close to fitting, but not quite right.

By the end, If I Had Legs I'd Kick You leaves you with more questions than satisfaction, and not in the good, thought-provoking way. It's a creative effort with good intentions, but it collapses under the weight of its own ambition. The concept could've been great, the execution is decent, but the experience is ultimately bland. It's fine for a one-time watch, but there's nothing here worth revisiting.

Every single person, incident, habit, encounter, happenstance, conversation and experience in this womans life is either moronic, hysterical, ugly, sadistic, incredibly irritating, bad luck bad management, unsatisfying and unhinging to the point of indulgent farce.

See something else and save your ears.

For the love of God, why is this movie categorized as a comedy?! It is a dark psychological drama, period. Not a dark comedy, not a thriller.

Rose Byrne delivers an amazing acting performance, but don't see this movie because you thought she was funny in Bridesmaids. You will be sorely disappointed.

As a woman in my mid twenties recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, this film was deeply uncomfortable it irritated me, pulled me in, and wouldn't let go until the end.

It captures emptiness and distorted perception with unsettling precision. I saw myself in it and that recognition brought a mix of satisfaction, fear, disgust, and acceptance.

It's a complex, haunting portrayal of despair and chaos within a wounded or unstable mind.

A brilliant work. I'll never watch it again.

I need to start a list of all the films that have cemented the fact I will never have children. 'If I Had Legs I'd Kick You' would go somewhere near the top. This movie was nightmare fuel.

This is one of those rare movies where there's no real plot or story, and yet you're still captivated by every moment. You need to know what will happen next. And it feels like anything could happen next, which is great feeling.

The final sequence was an interesting one and something I had to do some reading about to fully get my head around. I liked it but it wasn't quite the knockout blow I was hoping the movie would end with.

This is exactly the kind of movie where a Q&A with the director afterwards at Fantastic Fest would be a treat. To get their first hand interpretations on what certain things meant would be priceless.

Overall though I really enjoyed 'If I Had Legs I'd Kick You'. It was unique and it gives you a lot to think about. Throw in some great performances and you have a pretty engrossing couple of hours. 7/10.

IF I HAD LEGS ID KICK YOU I

Oh how much I wanted to like this. Rose Byrne is one of my favs.

One of the more frustrating and uncomfortable films of this year, If I Had Legs Id Kick You is an exercise in exasperation. Rose Byrne one of the finest actresses today does everything she can but the central character is incredibly unlikable that it's misguided that the film thinks there's anything sympathetic about her story. Mary Bronstein goes intense and raw but comes up with a very awkwardly miserable drama.

Why was everyone in this film so rude, crass and unlikable?

The kid was incredibly unlikeable.

Doesn't really give the therapy system a good overview does it? I mean the lead character's treatment of her patients is beyond unprofessional and mean.

The lead - where does one start - she was just mean. Having mental health issues doesn't give someone a justification to be cruel, rude and mean spirited and she is throughout the entire movie. That's the issue - there's nothing sympathetic about what she's going through.

It's irresponsible.

The narrative primarily centers on motherhood or more accurately, on mothers from all walks of life, striving to provide the best for their children, who selflessly sacrifice anything necessary to ensure their children's safety and well-being, all while juggling their professional, personal, and marital responsibilities.

Yet, their efforts are frequently met with harsh judgment from ignorant men and, at times, even from other ignorant women.

As a result, the suffocating guilt and the anxiety of being labeled a "bad mother" invade their consciousness like a relentless plague. Each day becomes a battle, and every attempt to meet their obligations drains their very will to live and breath, yet they persist, dutifully adhering to their responsibilities because they lack the 'privilege' to pause or take a break without the oppressive weight of stress incessantly looming over them.

The film not only presents these struggles with empathy and intricate detail but also critiques a society that often overlooks the turbulent mental states of mothers; a conversation we all need to engage in more actively by the way.

And all this is shown through Linda, a mother struggling to balance different aspects of her life while providing the "special" care and attention her daughter requires. Enacted exceptionally by Rose Byrne, who happens to command every frame she appears in; her vulnerabilities, fears, and the emotional turmoil that gnaws at her precious sanity are powerfully portrayed on screen.

Undoubtedly a class act!

Make no mistake, Rose Byrne puts on a show. Other than that, spend 2 hours elsewhere. The themes of motherhood and anxiety on full display, without lacking any substantial plot or moments of comedic relief certainly not a dark comedy by any stretch of the imagination Completely and utterly fell short.

Let me begin by saying that Rose should get an academy award nomination for this. She was amazing in every way possible. But, this movie was relentless. It was confusing. And above all, an over-the-top negative portrayal of motherhood in the modern era. Add to this the ambiguity of her profession, along with the less than professional relationship with her therapist, and such an irrationally bad job of using any common sense toward her daughter...and you have a mess that left me wishing I could throw Myself in the ocean.

The trailer made it look like a comedy. AMC Theatres list it as a comedy. I went in expecting a dark comedy, but, instead, I got a very tense, frustrating, and sometimes irritating film. I did not enjoy the experience, and that might have been the point of the movie. Rose Byrne was fantastic. However, I cannot rate this movie highly because it did not meet the expectations set by how it was marketed.

I'll start by saying Rose Byrne did an excellent job of acting in this movie. That said, the non-stop misery dumped on the audience made this movie borderline unwatchable. There really needed to be more lighthearted, comedic, or endearing moments in this film. Instead, the onslaught of dysfunction and poor choices ran wild like a tidal wave of anguish and sorrow. If I wanted to spend two hours watching a glut of calamity and misfortune, I would have turned on the news.

Exhausting is the best word to describe this film. Not because of the subject matter or because it's too stressful, but how tedious it all is. It's too uneventful to be a thriller, too bland to be a drama and too corny to be a comedy. Everything is telegraphed, too, and you can tell where it's heading 20 minutes into the film. Anyone who says this is tense hasn't watched enough films. One of the most boring, pretentious and nothingburger films I've ever watched. Don't believe the hype, skip this one.

"If I Had Legs I'd Kick You" felt dull and repetitive to me, and I stopped watching halfway through. The film follows a familiar, clichéd portrayal of strained mother-child relationships and offers little that feels fresh. Some scenes rely mainly on loud, pointless yelling, which becomes more irritating than dramatic. The only highlight is Rose Byrne's decent performance, though even that isn't enough to lift the film out of its monotony.