Un grand mariage

"The Big Wedding" seems to be following in the footsteps of the recent Hollywood romantic comedies – gather as many big name stars as you can and put them all in a romantic comedy storyline. It's the best of the bunch, even though that's not saying anything at all. It's also based on a French film "Mon frère se marie", and that's not really saying all that much either.

Any description of the plot is just going to read as a listing of who's who of Hollywood. But let's do it anyways: We have the patriarch and matriarchs (Robert De Niro and Diane Keaton and Susan Sarandon); we have the up-and-comers excited for their big day (Ben Barnes and Amanda Seyfried); and then we have the middle siblings who have had their time in the spotlight and are starting to fade away (Topher Grace and Katherine Heigl).

The wedding revolves around lies (obviously) and religion - with Robin Williams as the drunken Catholic priest. And it also includes lots and lots of sex jokes. The surprising thing that audiences are taking away from this film, especially in spite of the decidedly negative critics' responses, is that it is hilarious. Fans of the film will find themselves laughing from beginning to end. But to give you fair warning, all of the jokes are sexually-based, and I mean all of them.

Laughing at the Catholic stigma of don't have sex but if you do, don't be safe; laughing at people who have too much sex; laughing at people who don't have sex; and worse of all, laughing at divorced and married couples who have sex with one another. While some of the jokes were funny, they're also responsible for creating the uneasy dynamic amongst the characters – all of whom are family (or, at least, are about to become in-laws). At times the film crosses the line from funny dysfunctional family to repulsive dysfunctional family.

The one line that "The Big Wedding" straddles well is that between comedy and drama. The film is effective when it moves from funny jokes to touching family honesty and back to some more funny jokes. The story lines are very predictable, and sometimes the jokes are too simple and too wrong, but it tries to add in the right amount of drama, and ultimately, it should be entertaining to fans of the genre.

My wife suggested we go see this movie, after all, you have to work really hard to spoil something with De Niro, Keaton and Robin Williams in it, right?

Well, apparently not. Just throw together a completely meaningless plot, fill it with a couple awkward sexual scenes, remove any hint of real feeling or nuance, and then fill what's left with numerous clichés that are worthy of a B porno flick - and you will get some idea of what "The Big Wedding" is like.

It's another one in the long and sadly ever-growing line of Hollywood fiascoes, built on the premise that it's enough to throw together a bunch of star actors to get a blockbuster. It's not. The feeling you get is that the film's budget was spent on securing the big hitters, and then a couple of hundred bucks that were left were given to some sex-obsessed teenager in high school, to write the plot.

As a result, this movie which claims to be a comedy, is a farce, a farce of what a comedy should be. After watching for a little over an hour, I left without finishing it. It was super boring, predictable and entirely unimpressive. Don't waste your time watching this grotesque concoction of nothing.

I don't even know where to start on how absolutely bad this movie is.

I typically only write reviews when a movie is unexpectedly great, or moving in one way or another. But I felt compelled to write a review for this movie, if nothing else than to send a message to Hollywood that viewers are actually smarter then they give us credit.

You would think with a movie that features not one, not two, not three but four or more major actors would at least be tolerable. Wrong. Did I miss something, are actors just like the rest of us, living from paycheck to paycheck, barely making end's meet? That's the only excuse that would "maybe" allow me to accept why some of these people took these roles. Or perhaps there was an old "debt" that needed to be repaid to a director or studio? There must be some excuse, because anybody with any kind of preservation for their career would have passed. Robert (De Niro), are you serious? I watched you accept a lifetime achievement award a year or two ago and you went on and on about all the crappy roles you've accepted in recent years (including "Little Fockers", which by the way is head and shoulders about this movie) - and yet here you are again. ??? Please don't tell me YOU need a paycheck too?

Bottom line: I would not be completely surprised if this movie wasn't written on the back of a bar napkin at some cheesy off the road place over the period of a couple hours. Character development is extremely shallow and inconsistent and story cohesion and development is about non-existent.

Do yourself a favor and watch something else. Anything.

'Valentines Day,' 'New Year's Eve,' 'Love Actually,' etc. etc., all movies with 'stellar' casts that were barely watchable. Well, this one tops even those. Absolutely horrendous script that had my wife chuckling a few times but me wondering when this tripe would end. I can't imagine how embarrassed the performers would be if they were forced to sit and watch it. I honestly don't know how movies like this get made, especially with such casts. The only thing I can think of is that it gives the actors a quick payday without having to work very hard, so who can blame them really. I'm glad we went to the cheap matinée.

In short, the jokes are all sex-related and not funny, many of the lines seem to have been bad ad-libs, one character speaks in subtitles in a poor attempt to add sophistication to the movie (and she's very annoying at that), and you couldn't care less what happens to any of the characters. Oh, and it has Amanda Seyfried and Kathryn Heigle, who's tracks to stardom are proof that God exists.

If you're reading this after the fact, I feel your pain.

Given the premise (deduced from the trailer) and the title I was thinking of skipping 'The Big Wedding' but it's got Hollywood's finest actors like Robin Williams, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton and Robert de Niro. Surely, the film is at least worth a watch for their performance, right? Well, a more appropriate title for the movie would have been 'The Big Disaster In the Name of a Movie'. Yes, it's messy, silly and...not funny. 'the Big Wedding' was sold as a romantic comedy wedding flick but the 'jokes' appear forced, desperate and lack originality. Moreover it pokes fun at Catholics, free spirited people and divorced couples. The aforementioned talented actors are wasted which is a real shame. The younger cast's performance ranges from average to poor. The set and outdoor sceneries provide some nice eye-candy. Loaded with clichés, pretending to be funny and wasting talents, this expensive film is kind of...well, trash.