Xanadu Hellfire

My my, didn't the fancy dress shop do well.

In no particular order.- The one thing I will give this movie credit for is that it is very self aware. It does at least know that is a micro budget, fantasy nonsense flick that doesn't take itself too seriously.

The acting is terrible. Sorry boss ladies, back to acting school.

The script and plot are, well, mostly harmless is is the polite way of describing it.

The editing is terrible. The direction is, first day at film school-bad. And the the least said about the cgi, the better.

All this being said, it is fun. Silly, really stoooopid fun. Best watched with a crate of anything that isn't Bud Light.

In this day and age of Independant films, horror is king. You don't see many science fiction or fantasy films, which is why I was intrigued when my friend Erica Kauffman told me about this film, called Xanadu Hellfire. Its her film debut where she plays a warrior from another world.

The film starts out with the title character (played by Macy Minear) as a beautiful nomad warrior wandering the desert (which has some cool mad max vibes) when she comes upon your typical evil villain with two henchmen who will come to be known later in the film, a fight ensues but with a dialogue that isn't of your regular genre film...its more modernized and funny.

In fact, it fits the film in a strange way as it continues throughout the entire picture. Once the nomad warrior wins she then returns back to her village, where lives a collective of characters viking-like, lizardmen, scarecrow-men and human alike. This is where her sister, Raven Hellfire (played by Arianna America) and her must fight for the honour of their mother's throne but...

Here's the twist, its a comic book read by an adorable, foul mouthed, feisty, eight year old girl named Ruby (played by Aria Surrec) and she is so in love with these characters and their world at on her 9th birthday she begs her father, Steven (played by Ryon Thomas) to go out to the desert and try to bring "Xanadu Hellfire" into the real world using what is called a "Millennium Staff". Ruby and Steven have some of the best on screen chemistry as father and daughter, they are just too cute and it really is sweet to see them interact we each other. Another person in Ruby's circle is her best friend, Becky (played by Chloe Sligar) who is also a mini badass, as well as a foul mouthed little cutie who is a scene stealer.

So Ruby succeeds in bringing Xanadu to 2022 from 2097, but also in doing so she also unleashes an evil upon the world in the form of Raven, Sonja (played by Libby Wahlmeier), and Valeria (played by Erica Kaufman) is sent to bring her back Unbeknownst of the evil that is seeking them, Xanadu's new friends begins showing her all the "cool things" on this new version of earth. One of the great things about this film is "Bloodsucka Jones" cameo in the burger joint, its too damn funny and if you are a fan of the films you will love it!!

Once Valeria and Sonja arrive on earth, they are given powers which they unleash on the citizens as they attack the town. Eventually, Ruby, Brad The Geek, Xanadu, & Steven wrangle up some friends and some strange local characters to take down the evil duo which leads to a standoff at the local high school until Raven shows up leading to the ultimate battle in the desert (which include hugs and Dokken Tickets) and saving the day.

This film is so much fun to watch!! It has something that everyone can enjoy, the movie itself oozes of vibes from all kinds of movies from Mad Max, Psycho Goreman, The Karate Kid, Conan, & Clerks.

Nice fun little picture. Very cheap and kind of sloppy in parts but that's what you get with little indie pictures. The lead(the girl not the lady) is clearly in cheer or dance(its dance, I checked) which is great. We love seeing dancer girls in cheap indie pictures. The comic book props look good, at least the exteriors, it certainly duplicates that era of Marvel.

Scenes without one the leads(Xanadu or Ruby) not so is good. Is nice Xanadu always has belly show in her costuming. But Ruby never shows her belly even though she's a dancer and always shows belly. We need more trashy indie movies with little dancer girls barefoot(actually Ruby is barefoot in a scene but that's a continuity error, she's wearing socks in the previous shot) and showing belly.

But there is this weird scene where the lead has a dollar in her hand for the swear jar like she's gonna say a cuss, puts it in but doesn't say a cuss.

Oh, yeah and the girl playing Becky is real cute too.

As I stumbled upon this 2022 fantasy movie here in 2023, and opted to watch it, I had actually never heard about it. The movie's cover was definitely an eye catcher, because it had a very 1980s cheesy vibe to it. But I have to say that the cover worked, because it made me interested in the movie.

And as I started to watch "Xanadu Hellfire", it was pretty obvious that it was a low budget movie. And not of the great kind. Nay, writer and director Justin Armao managed to concoct a very cheesy script for the movie, and you don't ever really buy into the concept of the storyline, which makes sitting through "Xanadu Hellfire" quite the ordeal.

The acting performances in "Xanadu Hellfire" were dubious at best, especially with a bunch of the younger performers being unable to stop up and look directly into the camera throughout the course of the movie. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie. And that is usually something I enjoy when I watch a movie, but it just didn't work out for me in this movie.

The costumes and props were low budget and low key. It permeated low budget production of the bad kind. And I have to admit that I was laughing several times throughout the course of the movie because of the laughable costumes that felt like something purchased off of Wish or AliExpress. And as for the dystopian Earth in the future, I was amazed with how clean and spotless everything was, from the people to their clothes. It just didn't come off as being believable.

"Xanadu Hellfire" is a pretty bad low budget movie, which feels like something that was made by a group of Live Action Roleplayers borrowing their father's digital video camera. It made for a rather disappointing viewing experience.

My rating of "Xanadu Hellfire" lands on a two out of ten stars.

So, I'm a huge fan of Bloodsucka Jones, and Bloodsucka Jones Vs. The Creeping Death. This is the 3rd film by the Nitwit Consordium and is alot of fun. The kids who arenin the film, do a really good job and they don't come across as annoying or like they are reading their lines at all. Xanadu and Raven emote really well and feel like fleshed out characters. This scii Fi epic lives up to being called a Sci Fi epic. I just want Bloodsucka Jones and Xanadu do be in a film rogether now. The jokes in here are extremely funny, and this is the most fun with a film, I've had since Bloodsucka Jones Vs. The Creeping Death! Now I'm gonna eat Badass sized Tsunami Burger awww Yeah!