Xanadu Hellfire

In this day and age of Independant films, horror is king. You don't see many science fiction or fantasy films, which is why I was intrigued when my friend Erica Kauffman told me about this film, called Xanadu Hellfire. Its her film debut where she plays a warrior from another world.

The film starts out with the title character (played by Macy Minear) as a beautiful nomad warrior wandering the desert (which has some cool mad max vibes) when she comes upon your typical evil villain with two henchmen who will come to be known later in the film, a fight ensues but with a dialogue that isn't of your regular genre film...its more modernized and funny.

In fact, it fits the film in a strange way as it continues throughout the entire picture. Once the nomad warrior wins she then returns back to her village, where lives a collective of characters viking-like, lizardmen, scarecrow-men and human alike. This is where her sister, Raven Hellfire (played by Arianna America) and her must fight for the honour of their mother's throne but...

Here's the twist, its a comic book read by an adorable, foul mouthed, feisty, eight year old girl named Ruby (played by Aria Surrec) and she is so in love with these characters and their world at on her 9th birthday she begs her father, Steven (played by Ryon Thomas) to go out to the desert and try to bring "Xanadu Hellfire" into the real world using what is called a "Millennium Staff". Ruby and Steven have some of the best on screen chemistry as father and daughter, they are just too cute and it really is sweet to see them interact we each other. Another person in Ruby's circle is her best friend, Becky (played by Chloe Sligar) who is also a mini badass, as well as a foul mouthed little cutie who is a scene stealer.

So Ruby succeeds in bringing Xanadu to 2022 from 2097, but also in doing so she also unleashes an evil upon the world in the form of Raven, Sonja (played by Libby Wahlmeier), and Valeria (played by Erica Kaufman) is sent to bring her back Unbeknownst of the evil that is seeking them, Xanadu's new friends begins showing her all the "cool things" on this new version of earth. One of the great things about this film is "Bloodsucka Jones" cameo in the burger joint, its too damn funny and if you are a fan of the films you will love it!!

Once Valeria and Sonja arrive on earth, they are given powers which they unleash on the citizens as they attack the town. Eventually, Ruby, Brad The Geek, Xanadu, & Steven wrangle up some friends and some strange local characters to take down the evil duo which leads to a standoff at the local high school until Raven shows up leading to the ultimate battle in the desert (which include hugs and Dokken Tickets) and saving the day.

This film is so much fun to watch!! It has something that everyone can enjoy, the movie itself oozes of vibes from all kinds of movies from Mad Max, Psycho Goreman, The Karate Kid, Conan, & Clerks.

My my, didn't the fancy dress shop do well.

In no particular order.- The one thing I will give this movie credit for is that it is very self aware. It does at least know that is a micro budget, fantasy nonsense flick that doesn't take itself too seriously.

The acting is terrible. Sorry boss ladies, back to acting school.

The script and plot are, well, mostly harmless is is the polite way of describing it.

The editing is terrible. The direction is, first day at film school-bad. And the the least said about the cgi, the better.

All this being said, it is fun. Silly, really stoooopid fun. Best watched with a crate of anything that isn't Bud Light.

This film is all about the ladies being fully in charge of their destinies. They are tough and know what they want in life. The lead character, Ruby is sweet and charming. She has an endearing relationship with her dad, a single father and a relatable friendship with her bestie, Becky. It's fun to see her adventures unfold. This film reminded me of movies from my childhood. Lots of action with just the right amount of cheese! It's funny. It's heartwarming and the cast is great! Brings me back to weekend movies with friends in high school. I am a huge martial arts fan and was pleasantly surprised by the martial arts elements.

As I stumbled upon this 2022 fantasy movie here in 2023, and opted to watch it, I had actually never heard about it. The movie's cover was definitely an eye catcher, because it had a very 1980s cheesy vibe to it. But I have to say that the cover worked, because it made me interested in the movie.

And as I started to watch "Xanadu Hellfire", it was pretty obvious that it was a low budget movie. And not of the great kind. Nay, writer and director Justin Armao managed to concoct a very cheesy script for the movie, and you don't ever really buy into the concept of the storyline, which makes sitting through "Xanadu Hellfire" quite the ordeal.

The acting performances in "Xanadu Hellfire" were dubious at best, especially with a bunch of the younger performers being unable to stop up and look directly into the camera throughout the course of the movie. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie. And that is usually something I enjoy when I watch a movie, but it just didn't work out for me in this movie.

The costumes and props were low budget and low key. It permeated low budget production of the bad kind. And I have to admit that I was laughing several times throughout the course of the movie because of the laughable costumes that felt like something purchased off of Wish or AliExpress. And as for the dystopian Earth in the future, I was amazed with how clean and spotless everything was, from the people to their clothes. It just didn't come off as being believable.

"Xanadu Hellfire" is a pretty bad low budget movie, which feels like something that was made by a group of Live Action Roleplayers borrowing their father's digital video camera. It made for a rather disappointing viewing experience.

My rating of "Xanadu Hellfire" lands on a two out of ten stars.

And this is one of those films. I had the pleasure of meeting the man who put this together and am so glad to watch the movie. It is definitely lower budget but looks and feels amazing for it. It's cheesy in the best way and serious when it needs to be. I will be showing this film at several parties coming up and it is an instant classic in my book. Can't wait to see the Bloodsucka Jones movies tonight!! Hearing the backstory of how this is almost an ode to the original Xanadu only added my instant joy as that is one of my favorite films. The kids cussing in here only adds to the delight but it is very appropriate and I've heard many kids in my teaching career say much worse. Keep up the good work and I'm hoping there is another new one next year for me to enjoy. Thanks so much for a great evening!!