New Kids Nitro

I liked New Kids Turbo, so this one was kind of a no-brainer to watch. I expected more jokes, more edge, more stupid storylines. I got a really bland excuse of a film instead. I think the first 5 minutes were more or less promising, but the movie kind of lost its point after that. Maybe I had too high hopes for this one, but the jokes didn't seem as funny, the characters were even more disconnected than in the first movie and the story was just completely braindead. And while I do enjoy movies that are essentially loosely interconnected sketches, this one lacked the edge and came off as tired and kinda lame. Not worth a watch, let alone a rewatch.

"New Kids Nitro" is clearly a movie that had to strike while the iron was still hot. The brief "New Kids"-sketches were an instant hit within Dutch pop culture and the first "New Kids"-movie was also well-received, so it makes sense that they wanted to squeeze every drop from this hype. But still, the movie could have used some more time and effort. There's barely any new material in this movie, just a lot of rehashed stuff from the previous outings. People still suddenly die out of nowhere, they still get in fights for the vaguest of reasons and everyone's still over-the-top trashy, but it's just not as funny as it used to be. How many times can you see a person get hit by a car and still laugh? Dozens of times obviously, but they're still pushing it. Granted, the makers are very aware of this and break the fourth wall on numerous occasions to mention exactly what I just said, but to be honest I don't really care for that. In-jokes are often just a lazy way of "fixing" your movie's shortcomings (take notes, Kevin Smith), even if some of this stuff is indeed pretty funny. My biggest pet peeve however is that they don't do enough with the one interesting new idea in the movie: the delightfully nonsensical addition of zombies. You sort of expect the last half hour of this movie to play out as an if possible even dryer version of "Shaun Of The Dead", but the final act is totally disappointing. Don't get me wrong, you'll laugh a lot during this movie, but you'll laugh at gags you've seen a hundred times before. Only for the die-hard fans.

I surprised many people by positively reviewing predecessor New Kids Turbo in 2011. After having read sympathetic reviews on successor New Kids Nitro on the IMDb website and in some papers, I sat fully prepared to enjoy myself. Alas, it proved a bitter disappointment. I cannot pinpoint any scene that did let me laugh, not even one yielding a momentary smile. Could it be that the surprise of the previous movie has worn out?

In the beginning there was a promising scene, where a young man confronts the five main characters with a long list of negative opinions about New Kids Turbo. Of course, his life ends prematurely after that, due to a clumsy policeman joining the gathering. This premature death is not a problem for me, because such a fate is fully in line with how this film usually treats adversaries as well as innocent bystanders.

From the reviews that I had read beforehand, I learned of two story lines that would eventually come together. Emphasis on "eventually", since the film makers took their time to let it develop at a very slow pace. The merger of the two story lines took off not until halfway the movie. And even then, it felt very artificial and far-fetched, offering no reason to be curious how all this would end.

Three civil servants we recognized from their previous appearance in New Kids Turbo, where they fruitlessly tried to stop the anti-taxation disease spreading under the citizens, made their appearance here as well in a similar role. Alas, they contributed little to nothing. Surely a missed chance to liven up the story with a healthy dose of satire, the central government in The Hague being an inexhaustible target for such fun.

While having none of the anticipated laughs, you get to watch for faults in the story. There were plenty of those, but I'll mention only two examples. Firstly, we see a car race end half way when someone throws a home made spiked tire on the street, suddenly stopping one of the competitors. Nevertheless, a few minutes later, both cars take off again as if nothing got in their way. Secondly, there is a crowd of zombies assembled around a touring-car, stalking our five main characters on top of the bus. For some reason or other, the zombies turn into a submissive crowd, following them all around without doing further harm to anyone. Normally I would not make a fine point of such mistakes, but if there is nothing else to comment on, what other choice does a reviewer have?

And while we are at it, complaining about details, I observed two rather tasteless scenes near the end of the film. Firstly, the way the mother was "buried" was disrespectful to say the least. It was very different from what we could expect, given the trouble taken by traveling all the way from Brabant to Friesland in an attempt to rescue her. Secondly, carrying away the zombies in a train wagon, resembled a bit too much to what we remember from WWII movies. I don't think I am alone in this.

All in all, I was disappointed, left behind with the only conclusion that the sequel missed several chances to upgrade their act, and to reach a higher level. The original casting, the crude language and the overall approach within their first movie, seems to have worn out. I observed a similar attitude among the rest of the audience, who underwent it all stoically and without many spontaneous reactions. My only positive comment is that they maintained the showing of bloopers next to the final credits (both taking half the screen). I found it a nice touch with the previous film, and it still is.

Assuming you have seen the first movie (New Kids Turbo) and laughed at the characters (there apparently are people who associate themselves with the characters), this new movie will be a lot more of the same. People are still getting hit by cars, blown up and shot for no reason (and they poke fun of this on a meta level). However, this time 'round you expect these things to happen, especially when they happen 4 times in a row in this movie as well.

This doesn't mean you won't laugh a good dozen times during the movie, there are still some very good (some horribly cruel) jokes in this movie.

What this movie is lacking though, relative to the first, is any form of continuous story. Where the first had a theme throughout the movie, taking a stand against the government, in this movie nothing much happens for the first half hour, they explore a bit of story this way, drop it, then wander off that way. Only at a good two thirds into the movie picks up a proper story and at the end you'll have forgotten what happened before the last bit.

So yes, if you liked the first movie, this movie will be enjoyable as well, though it's best left for a pizza and beer on the couch night with a bunch of friends.

In the '80s and '90s, the standard for crude, provocative and vulgar humor in The Netherlands was set by the films - and subsequent TV-series - of "Flodder". In the second half of the '00s, the "New Kids" took over. They're a bunch of utterly marginal and ill-mannered twenty-something hoodlums with mullets and porno-mustaches that spend their lives doing absolutely nothing except for showing off in their pimped car, take drugs, raise fights, talk foul language, and pee against public buildings. The format was incredibly popular for a short while, serving as a guilty pleasure for many Dutch/Belgian fans (myself included), but the success faded out just as quickly. In fact, by the time this second film got released, the buzz was already over.

"Nitro", the aptly titled follow-up to "Turbo", is somewhat interesting for one reason only, namely that it's one of the only zombie movies ever made in The Netherlands. For some reason, the country is gradually overrun by zombies that come from the remote far north - Friesland - and brain munch their way south. In terms of script and humor, there's something to offend literally everyone in "New Kids: Nitro". It's not funny at all but, it must be said, the special effects and gory make-up are more than decent. I reckon they spent all the profit of the previous film and series on gallons of fake blood, heads, and limbs. Money well spent!