Mistress Dispeller

This is one of the most uncomfortable experiences I've had watching a documentary. Two minutes in, everyone around me was already laughing their heads off. While I, as an ethnic Chinese who was born and spent most of my life in China, didn't get what was so funny about it.

This movie has turned this couple's life into a spectacle for people out of their culture to watch, to be entertained and amused. It is extremely cruel and unethical to expose these vulnerable people and their genuine feelings into this comedy.

Moreover, these people are taken out of their cultural context. The director said she framed the film into the genre of Hong Kong love movies because she is a big fan of it. How could you just frame other people's life into a form that you preferred just because you are "a fan"? How about I frame your life the way I want it? I didn't feel that the subjects in this documentary are well protected and respected as individuals by the producing team.

In the Q&A session, the director explained that she knew this couple from the wife's brother, who was actually a "male mistress", which triggered a wave of laughter from the audience. First of all, what are the cultural and moral indications in the word "mistress"? Secondly, are you allowed to expose your interviewees' privacy like that? Does he know what you are doing? Did he give consent? Do all these people know that their life stories are being viewed outside of China like a farce, a comedy, a hilarious tragedy that says so much of "humanity" which is being pitied by these watchers, viewers, audience who're watching from a higher level with great privileges.

I can say more and more. But I don't believe this is documentary. This is framing, unconsciously abusing privileges, exploitation of other people's life, and disrespect and lack of understanding of other cultures that are not western. And you, the director, shouldn't be proud of it. The only good thing in this documentary is the genuine feelings and communications between these people, but it was wasted by the poor production.

Managed to Catch This at DOC NYC.

No doubt this is an interesting concept. A character who works to break up those who are involved with affairs in the country of China. That's quite unheard of, almost as if it's fictional, yet it exists.

Filmmaker Elizabeth Lo does a pretty great job on exploring this concept balancing both funny, emotionally, and being raw with it's heavy subject. Shot beautifully of the landscapes of China and fitting score, many of it's themes are interesting as the cultures of China, relationships, and respect are well presented throughout. Many of the participants involved with the movie offers a good insightful conversation and tone for what they are going through, which allows the audience to fully invest with their lives and their roles throughly.

Documentaries in China are rare due to their culture and political aspects, so it was very interesting to see a heavy subject, well-explored within the setting and control. This really stood out towards me.

I had the chance to see Mistress Dispeller at the Zurich Film Festival, and I really liked it. The cinematography was breathtaking, the soundtrack well picked, and certain moments were so raw and emotional that it was hard to believe this was a documentary. It was also, I have to say, no matter how heavy the topic, an enjoyable blend of funny and sad. Some scenes made me sad. Others gave me food for thought for my own relationship. Definitely had to laugh at some points.

We were lucky enough that the producer and director were present. They shared afterwards that they followed several groups of people for three years before finding the right story, almost giving up at one point. It must be really difficult to document such a story, where people need a lot of courage to stay in and not change their mind, or also where you really don't know what the outcome may be. I have immense respect for the wife, husband, and mistress who agreed to participate-it's rare to see such vulnerability on camera, especially in a culture like China's, where privacy is highly valued. Interesting fact that they can't play the docu in China, so the family can remain untouched by uhese revelations and keep their faces.

What really stood out to me was the neutral, empathetic portrayal of everyone involved. There was no villain, just people in pain trying to navigate a rough patch in their lives. Watching them discuss difficult, painful topics was both fascinating and inspiring. No yelling, no screaming. Try this in Europe, I dare you, that's definitely not how I argue. :)

But what really made my jaw drop was Miss Wang, the "mistress dispeller,". Her ability to anticipate and manage the emotions and interactions of the people involved was nothing short of extraordinary. She seemed to have cracked the code to human behavior, almost guiding the narrative with precision. People acted and talked exactly how she predicted. It's like she managed what millions of therapists and patients are unsuccessfully trying to understand every day.

Unique glimpse into a world I didn't even know existed. Highly recommended.