House of Clowns

Only watch if you are in the mood for first-timer level of production quality. I'm the right audience for zero budget entry horror if it has something to offer. I'm going to admit, I struggled to get through this. The technical issues on this one is a headache to endure. The muffled audio makes most of the dialogue unintelligible. I get the feeling this was filmed on a phone. Not a good one. It seems like the actors got one chance only to say their lines and delivery is lukewarm at best. As far as clowns- there are no Art the Clowns to be found here. Pretty dull and not much to offer. No risks taken. Made it through the whole thing, so I give it a point.. but most will not tolerate the crude production level and will shut it off as soon as the Not-Elvira makes an appearance.

Went in with no expectations and didn't even pause once as I was enthralled with its special charm. Instead of complaining about sound production (which didn't annoy me in the slightest) like other reviewers, I'd say I thoroughly enjoyed the camera movements, reminiscent of candid 90s footage captured on a handheld recorder.

The cast is perfect for portraying what they did, especially Nick and Cecil, the latter is easily the one to stand out the most. It's refreshing to see amateur acting in everyone else too; I can only watch so many French and Japanese new wave films where everyone is melancholic and less of a person and more of an abstract concept brought to life. Unironically better than any A24 film. I'm a firm believer that more films should be less professional and plastic.

Kinda like a John Waters film too.

I only got one question... how the hell did the director managed to get Vin Diesel star in it?!

I like clowns. I like B-movies. I thought this was a B-movie with clowns; I was wrong. What this actually is, is the worst thing I've ever wasted 83 minutes on.

When the main characters first go into the haunted house, one of them says "this looks like something out of a children's public access show" and I think that accurately sums up this movie; it should have rolled credits after that line. There is exactly one person in the entire movie who could convince me that they've had acting lessons; everyone else's acting is about as convincing as the average porn intro. They stumble through their lines with lots of "ums" and can regularly be seen looking off camera to read cue cards. Similarly, the special effects are practically nonexistent and the sets are akin to a high school play which is fitting, since it feels like it was written by a high school special ed class. The movie is regularly interrupted by a wannabe Elvira who makes an edgy, I'm-so-dark-and-mysterious comment before the movie continues to disrespect your time.

I cannot understate how much I hated this movie. I would rather snort broken glass and staple my dong to the floor than watch this again. Thankfully I didn't pay to see it - if I had, I would consider going to small claims court to get my money back.

I'm going to be dropping a full review on my channel. But I just wanted to say that this movie, while it being very low budget. (And let's face it anything with Dustin Ferguson attached to it is already suffering). Was crafted with a lot of heart and love for the genre. The cast while not great actors really does try. And has some good moments in the performances. The Elvira like Malvolia is a fun and welcome addition. If you are not into low budget independent horror this one is not for you. But if you are definitely check this movie out as it's worth the 80 minute run time. Always support independent horror.

BroncoJuggalo.

Meeting up for a contest, the winners who get to tour a sneak peek at a special haunted house arrive for their trip along with several workers at the store that sponsored it, but when the experience starts to go wrong, they realize a deadly secret involving the hosts that put everyone in danger from murderous clowns.

This was a pretty decent genre effort. Among the better qualities here is the highly impressive atmosphere that runs throughout the entire film. The main part of the haunted house is quite entertaining, with the usual props and setups featured in cheesy haunted houses featuring rubber spiders, cobwebs strung up randomly throughout in weird spots, falling-apart scenery and props, and a general air of purposeful cheesiness that feels like most normal haunted house displays of this type. That it feels right in line means that the arrival of the clowns here feels very much in line with the type of setup here so that it's hardly noticeable and surprisingly believable that no one would be able to tell what's going on. By the time it gets to the carnage in the latter half, this one picks up considerably with the film going for a strong torture-film storyline involving each f the group members brought unsuspectingly to the clowns and then tortured mercilessly before being killed off. It's quite an impressive idea to try to go this route as the requirement of the group not realizing that the others haven't returned yet which is overall quite enjoyable as there's plenty of strong work done here to both get the necessary excuse for the trip away from the group and to keep everything a secret for as long as it is since the kills are quite gruesome. Given the big final twist reveal that ends up tying everything together for a nice shocking surprise, this one does manage to contain some fine positives overall. This one does have some issues. The main factor on display here is the excruciatingly long setup that takes forever before getting to the haunted house or even the killer clowns. The early part of the film, featuring the group meeting up at the shop and going through the usual get-together conversations so that we get to know who's there. Going through the motions of the usual group introductions and failing to get any extra hookups together doesn't have any real excitement or interest here, tending to be just absolutely dull instead with the lack of action featured. Coupled with the early setup-up of the attraction that doesn't offer up much of anything and the obvious low-budget nature of the presentation that can wholly detract some viewers, these here are what really hold this one down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.