Something in the Water

Ridiculous premise from the outset.

It is like an Enid Blyton novel, 'Five Diverse Babes Go lesbian Relationship Counselling At Sea'. What could possibly go wrong?

Obviously, the film is low budget and in this case, it shows.

The direction is basic. The script divests you of feeling for the protagonists whose characterisation is quite two dimensional.. The plot is ridiculous and written with stupid characters making stupid decisions and written by people who have no idea about shark behaviour.

Although I did say it was low budget there are some drone and cityscape establishing shots but I have no idea what relevance they have to the main part of the story.

'I can't pee, if you are looking at me'.......they are all stranded in the water at sea. Laugh out loud funny. Very nearly 'Showgirls, so bad it's good' bad.

"Something in the water" looked different enough from all the other shark movies we've had in the past. Its a British "open water" with more characters. So in some ways was more interesting and could do more. But does it sink or swim? Unfortunately it sinks.

The movies just not very good. Most of the characters are more annoying than the screamy girl from "Jaws 2," and there are alot of unlikely things said or done in the movie. The order of deaths and when they happen is also mostly predictable.

But there are a couple of decent moments in there, and the CGI is used sparingly. But this is probably because its bad when it starts to get used more toward the end.

This film had promise from the trailer (albeit with a story lacking any sense of originality but that's fine - sometimes we just want a good shark film).

The strength in this film is with how it doesn't show the shark to start with, other than a fin. A page taken from Jaws' playbook but, when that fin "looks" to do a handbrake turn when the shark senses blood, we know we're in trouble and everything is about to go downhill... And it does.

The over head shots of the shark in the water are okay but the constant - shark lunging for victim - shots are some of the worst CGI I've seen. But this isn't the worst thing about this film. That "accolade" goes to the acting and stupid script.

Example of script:

Women in water, shark circling them. They panic (fair).

One of them cracks a "joke" about dying from a shark attack in Manchester due to global warming. The women start to laugh whole-heartedly. THERE IS A SHARK CIRCLING YOU AND ONE OF YOU IS BLEEDING TO DEATH!!!!

I could say more but honestly, I'm annoying I wasted 86 minutes of my life on this. Give it a skip and remember the name of those who made this atrocity so you can avoid future work too. It's THAT bad.

After an unprovoked attack, a couple split, their friends try to bring the couple to their senses, by leaving them on an island, but their good intentions turn to horror, as they find themselves stranded in shark infested waters.

I keep on hoping for a good shark movie, but it seems as though they're few and far between. This one isn't as ridiculous as Ghost Shark or Shark side of the moon, it takes itself a little more seriously, but it's still a little nonsensical.

There's nothing new here, we have genuinely seen it all a tonne of times before, but I can't say it's bad or unwatchable, it just lacks tension and excitement.

It looks nice, some really great location work, the sharks look decent, even if they're behaving in a somewhat odd manner.

The characters, though well acted are a little irritating, so don't be surprised if you find yourself rooting for team shark.

5/10.

Quickly I began cheering for the shark .

Why you ask ?

Because the whole plot feels false and contrived. It tries so hard, so very very hard, to make you care about the characters and their relationships. Yet fails utterly .

I think you're suppossed to feel the warmth of their relationships and see them as real people. So you can feel their loss when the Shark has dinner.

Instead, it is portrayed in such a shallow and cringeworthy way, that you hope the Shark has seconds plus a good dessert .

The film lacks any relevant information for you to give a damn, except perhaps to hope the shark dines well on the blandness.

Whatever is in the water, it aint a good story.