Star Wars: L'ascension de Skywalker

You should probably disregard any review that gives this a 1/10 or a 10/10. It is not a terrible movie, nor is it legendary. For the average movie-goer I suspect it will fall somewhere between 6/10-8/10. Highly enjoyable in terms of visuals and plot twists, but not enough to stick around with you for years to come like the original trilogy.

It has been quite some time since I got excited about this franchise; I guess the TV shows maybe are doing more at the minute, but for the films there is little to get excited about within them, and probably far too many of them being made for all the 'proper' fan to make it a date. Rise of Skywalker had been largely panned by viewers and critics, but I decided it was a good Friday night sort of film - one that doesn't take too much effort to watch. I was correct because this film really doesn't have much of a plot to care about, and seems to have been patched together without a lot of thought to the whole.

Technically it is very impressive - although of course it is because hundreds of millions of pounds were spent to make it sound and look good; and it mostly does. If you want lightsabers and space battles then you get it here. However if you put aside the technical feat, it is very much hollow. I struggled to care about anyone in the film; the dialogue was often clunky, and there was almost nothing natural or organic in there. The writing doesn't help itself by doing things that seem fan-service at best, and cynical at worst. For example the constant references back to other films by having scenes that echo scenes in the original films break things up. Meanwhile moments or aspects are included that don't seem to mean much in the moment and feel like they have been included in the hope of linking to yet another spinoff opportunity. With all this, the cast are mostly stuck with just going with it the best they can but nobody really stands out as an actor.

In the end, it is a fairly bland product; full of noise and spectacle but nothing of any real grit, interest, or substance.

Unfortunately, this movie somehow reflects the way society's been going on for the last 15-20 years - the ever growing trivilialization, consumerism and regurgitation of works of genius from past generations who paid blood, sweat and tears for their works to be seen, heard and fealt - all of this now to get a quick buck at the local mall. Shameful...shameful...

Where the Mandalorian feels like somebody taking their own beloved Star Wars fantasy and putting it on screen, this feels like a marketing product. While the direction is enjoyable, the actors are doing a great job, the writing and the story is just checking boxes.

Retcon what the fans hated in the last movie? Done. Callbacks to the originals? Done. Cute new animals and droid for toys to sell? Done. New stormtrooper looks for game skins? Done. Are we blowing up random planets? Sure...

Best to get your SW fix from the expanded universe stuff. Pehaps where the company didn't spend a billion dollars on marketing, there's still room for a kid to look over the setting alien suns of his planet and dream of something more.

3 stars.

I'm not even sure why it gets three stars. Let's see...

1. Occasionally it is pretty to watch 2.

3 stars is a stretch, ill be honest. While technically it's a well produced movie with great visuals and the phenomenal star wars sound track, each of these are borrowed from better films. And that's it. The only pro. Borrowed kudos.

But, in all the ways that matter, this film is a hot mess.

The story is just a poor fetch quest followed by a sprinkling of nostalgia bait. That's it. My dog could have made a better film.

The folks at Disney that made this film should feel ashamed and find another calling.