Til Death Do Us Part

So today I (mis)treated myself to a double feature of Meg 2 and Til Death Do Us Part. After Meg 2 failed to deliver on its minimal promises of schlocky fun I had my hopes that this would meet my expectations of being mildly entertaining. Unfortunately this couldn't even pass the lowest bar: at least be more entertaining than the movie I watched prior.

This movie is a beat-by-beat ripoff to the far superior Kill Bill films with lifeless performances from a cast that looked like they didn't want to be there. The characters are monotone, obnoxious, and one note. Cam Gigandet's character is by far the most insufferable of the bunch. Putting on random classic songs on vinyl and foolishly dancing around is his sole personality trait that probably took up to a total of 15 minutes of the film runtime throughout. If you want your character to be demented maybe...I don't know...do more?

It delivers on the blood and gore for the most part and usually when a film is this bad this can be a redeeming quality, even if it doesn't save the film entirely. But this did nothing for me. The jokes fall flat, the characters are cringe, and the film is about 20-25 minutes too long. There was no heart in this. The only positives I can give this are some decent fighting scenes and two pretty cool and bloody kills.

Til Death Do Us Part is directed by Timothy Woodward Jr and stars Natalie Burn, Cam Gigandet, Orlando Jones and Jason Patric.

What happens when you try to combine a Tarantino movie with You're Next and Ready Or Not? You get whatever Til Death Do Us Part is. This isn't a good movie but there are a few redeeming qualities about this that I'll get into.

There are two subplots in this one with the Groomsmen hunting down Natalie Burn's bride and another involving Jason Patric's character that didn't even need to be in this movie. This movie is also way too long and for such a simple premise it feels extremely dragged out. The writing by Chad Law and Shane Dax Taylor is also extremely cliche and filled with horrendous dialogue. On the positive side Natalie Burn in what I think is her first leading role is good here and Jason Patric who looks like he was interrupted during his vacation to film scenes for this also does a good job. The best part about this for me though was Cam Gigandet and his charismatic and zany performance got to give him props for at least trying to make this somewhat watchable.

How or why this managed to get a theatrical release I don't know. Ready Or Not with Samara Weaving which has a very similar plot to this is far superior.

Nobody should be comparing this to Ready or Not. This movie took 1 page of the brilliance of Ready or Not and crumpled it into 1 hour and 45 minutes of a complete mess. The dialogue between the groomsmen was just so terrible I fast forwarded most of the parts just to get to the end. The end had a decent twist but nothing of note. Very dissatisfied with this movie as I was really looking forward to this.

I think the best part of the movie were the last five minutes and I was so excited when the credits finally scrolled.

One act of praise is the Groom, he had about 5 lines in it and I think it was the best decision in his career bc he didn't talk.

How this movie hit the silver screen still has me scratching my head.

Grade: D-

.... just move along. Between the incredible long and dull setup and the poor action scenes with terrible dialogue in-between there is clearly nothing in this film that worth you sit and watch this dumpster fire.

Even in these troubled times where movies are ew and far between I'd rather watch a sharknado, at least it will be midly entertaining. This offered nothing, pretty sure my encephalogram was totally flat for the entire runtime.

I'd even rather make a grocery list or doing chores than having to watch another minute of this ... movie? Yes, calling it a movie is almnost an insult to other movies.

Just move along seriously.

If you need some eye yoga, Til Death Do Us Part is the perfect choice: my eyes were in pain after watching this movie due to constant eye rolling. Additionally, I suspect that I lost a significant number of brain cells (note to self: be more selective about watching new movies, unless you want to become a brain-lobotomized zombie in a not so far away day). Not only does Til Death Do Us Part feed us a weak and uninspiring story, but the entire film is also rather tediously timed and poorly directed, the dialogues a terrible blabla. The production value also fails to elevate the movie to even average quality. If you're truly craving violence and action involving a bride (for whatever peculiar reason), I highly recommend watching Ready or Not or Kill Bill (again). Both films boast superior production, captivating storylines, and talented casts. Final words: a rather cheap and uninspired imitation.