Christmas at the Amish Bakery

Christmas at the Amish Bakery is one of those holiday films that teeters on the edge of sincerity and absolute absurdity. Directed by someone who presumably has a Pinterest board titled "Generic Christmas Aesthetic," the movie manages to both baffle and delight with its unintentional hilarity, making it an oddly perfect watch-especially if you're looking for a laugh and perhaps have taken an edible beforehand.

The premise is standard Hallmark-inspired fluff: A big-city pastry chef, Rachel, retreats to Amish country after a career setback to rediscover her love for baking and, of course, herself. There she meets Isaac, a stoic but dreamy Amish baker who reluctantly agrees to teach her the "true" art of breadmaking. Throw in a dash of Christmas magic, a clunky love triangle, and a subplot about the bakery facing foreclosure, and you've got yourself a holiday romance. On paper, it's all very predictable. But in execution, Christmas at the Amish Bakery is so awkwardly crafted that it achieves a kind of accidental brilliance.

The Dialogue: A Comedy of Errors

The dialogue in this movie is truly next-level bad. Every conversation feels like it was written by someone who just skimmed a Wikipedia article about the Amish and decided to fill in the blanks with awkward pauses and generic platitudes. Lines like "In the Amish way, the bread rises... and so do our hearts" are delivered with such earnestness that you can't help but laugh. The conversations between Rachel and Isaac are particularly painful (and hilarious), alternating between heavy-handed moral lessons about "simpler living" and painfully forced romantic tension.

What makes the dialogue even funnier is how seriously the actors take it. Isaac delivers every line with the gravitas of a Shakespearean monologue, even when he's saying things like, "We do not use electricity, but our hearts are always lit." Watching this movie while under the influence of an edible turns these moments into comedic gold. You find yourself wondering how the actors kept a straight face-until you realize they probably didn't.

The Smiling Sister

The standout, however, is Hannah, Isaac's perpetually smiling sister. No matter the situation-whether she's churning butter, delivering grim news about the bakery's finances, or simply standing in the background-her face is frozen in an unrelenting, almost eerie smile. At first, you assume it's a quirk of her character, but as the movie progresses, it becomes clear that this is either a directorial choice or the actress's inability to emote in any other way.

Hannah's eternal grin turns mundane scenes into comedic masterpieces. When she delivers a line like, "If we lose the bakery, we lose everything," with the same cheerful expression she uses while frosting cookies, you can't help but burst out laughing. It's as though the actress misinterpreted the assignment and thought she was in a toothpaste commercial instead of a melodramatic Christmas movie.

The Production

From a technical standpoint, the movie feels rushed. The set design is generic, the costumes look like they were purchased from an Amish-themed party store, and the cinematography leans heavily on soft filters that make every scene look like a perfume ad. The Amish bakery itself is hilariously inauthentic, featuring suspiciously modern kitchen equipment and an inexplicable abundance of Christmas lights (despite the Amish community's disdain for electricity).

Yet somehow, all these flaws add to the film's charm. It's so incompetently made that it loops back around to being enjoyable. Watching the movie feels like you're in on a private joke with the filmmakers-one they didn't realize they were making.

Final Thoughts

Is Christmas at the Amish Bakery a good movie? Absolutely not. But is it an entertaining one? Without question. It's the kind of film that's perfect for a group watch with friends (and perhaps some holiday edibles) when you're in the mood to laugh at something completely ridiculous.

Between the cringe-worthy dialogue, the perpetually smiling Amish sister, and the overall lack of self-awareness, Christmas at the Amish Bakery might just be the funniest Christmas movie of all time-unintentionally, of course. Whether that's the kind of holiday spirit you're looking for is up to you, but if nothing else, this movie is proof that even the worst films can bring a lot of joy.

Wow, what can I say? This was a complete waste of my time. I can't believe I sat through this, I only did because I was home sick and bored. The acting was so dull and lifeless and there's absolutely no chemistry between Sarah and Dean. The Dad with his "ahh" and "wells" grunting noises was laughable. These "actors" really shouldn't quit their day job. I've seen better acting at my local school musicals and plays.

They really needed to do better research when doing an Amish movie. Their clothes, they way they spoke was way off. Just terrible.

Do yourself a favor and skip this one, or it might be good one if you suffer from insomnia.

This is a formulaic Christmas romance. The only thing that stands out is that the story is set in Amish culture.

The characters are stock figures without much depth. The two leads do not have on-screen chemistry. The dialogue is wooden and all too predictable.

It seems the producers thought adding the word 'Amish' to the title would make the movie more popular, or at least draw more interest. It worked with me, but the movie failed to deliver. This movie is a trifle, which I guess it was meant to be.

There are better things to do during this season than watch this movie. This movie is not recommended.

I may not agree with the romance in the movie but I did enjoy watching. While it had its upside, I noticed a few drawbacks too.

I loved the establishing shots and shots of the plains and sea; astonishing I must say. Wished the pedestal shot of Sarah at the beginning was prolonged abit more to increase the suspense of guessing who the character was and what her goal is.

Had concerns though about the in-shot and P. O. V shots of Darla and Sarah in the office. It was mentally draining moving from one character to the other in so little time. I'd wish Darla eventually sat to meet Sarah's eye level or even bent a little with hands on the table, due to the prolonged timing of the scene.

I was initially confused though about Racheal; was there a Racheal in the movie? Was Hannah also called Racheal and the same person who sent Sarah a Christmas card?

Wished the snow used in the scene of Dean and Sarah at dusk was more realistic; it was quite snowy but one didn't get to see any snow on their outfits nor their hair.

The romance too between Dean and Sarah was not believable in my opinion. More connection and time spent alone would have done justice to it in my opinion.

Favorite Line: Perfection challenges God (Hannah to Sarah) Also loved the closeup shots of Dean and Sarah while he was narrating the accident to her. The shots greatly captured their emotions at a close range, drawing the audience to feel what they were feeling at that point in time.

Overall, it was a pleasant watch for me.

Needless to say that I had, indeed, never heard about the 2023 Christmas movie "Christmas at the Amish Bakery". Well, I don't have a habit of traversing in all things Amish, so there was that to take into account. Regardless, I had the opportunity to watch the movie here in 2024, as part of my December Christmas movie marathon, and opted to do so, without knowing what I was in for. Though, the movie's cover does ooze with the archetypical sappy Christmas presentation, but the 'Amish' part of the movie's title was a little bit off-putting.

Regardless, I watched the movie, and found it to be a watchable, though somewhat generic and stale Christmas movie. Writers Scott Kirkpatrick and Jennifer Snow opted to play it relatively safe and bet on the archetypical sappy Christmas tropes, for better or worse. Sure, if you enjoy the generic sappy Christmas movies, then you're in for a treat here. But I sat down to watch it as a casual viewer, so I wasn't particularly impressed with the storyline.

I was not familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, and that is actually something I do enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. I will say that the acting performances in the movie were fair, despite the fact of the actors and actresses having a generic and bland script to work with.

Watchable, sure, but hardly a memorable or outstanding foray into the Christmas movie genre. I found it to be a rather forgettable movie, and I bet that come tomorrow I will have forgotten about the movie. The movie definitely didn't have the contents to become a Christmas classic.

My rating of director Jeff Hare's 2023 movie "Christmas at the Amish Bakery" lands on a four out of ten stars.