Kalahari

Could this really be the same Ryan Philippe who was in "Cruel Intentions"? Are things really that bad? Well now he's "Andrew" who runs a Christian missionary deep in the Kalahari. Forced to flee, they engage the rather untrustworthy services of pilot "Grun" (Emile Hirsch) and next thing they are amidst some wreckage in the middle of a wild game reserve with loads of hungry lions, hyenas, scorpions and a few heavily armed freedom fighters. Can they survive? There are some beautiful animals featured in this film and the Californian Vasquez Rocks National Park serves well enough as a location double, but the rest of this is all really quite poorly written and executed before a denouement that I could have done with half an hour earlier. There's nothing about the characters for us to care about, one being determined to smuggle artefacts out of the country whilst an other wants to indoctrinate the locals with a lifetime supply of bibles. Maybe he thought it was called "Pray" instead? It's not exactly predicable, it's not that structured - it sort of meanders along desperate to generate some sense of menace from it's arid and hostile environment, but all to underwhelming avail. Nope, nothing at all to recommend this to anyone, sorry.

The story is the worse collection of cliches about Africa and "the natives" (that's what the script calls the local people) made after1950. The story follows a spoiled rich kid and his friend with their guide and a missionary doctor and his wife who crash in a light aircraft in an unspecified African country. Apparently there are lions so the rich kids and pilot go off to a nearby village, but the pilot who apparently can't read a map "makes a wrong turn." That's word for word. They return to the crash site and get jumped by a couple of "natives" with AK47 wearing Day of the Dead make-up. There's lots of shouting, unseen lions leaving blood trails from missing passengers and a happy ending for at least one. The dialogue is moronic, the acting even from the two names stars is so wooden, they could have built a glider to escape the lions, who we see very little of. Overall the film is very weak, not scary at all, dull and stupid. There's nothing positive to say about it, except when the plane crashes, it looks like it was shot down in the Battle of Britain.

I have a relatively low threshold to meet for a movie to be passable. I dont mind some bad acting, bad special effects, loose plot holes, etc as long as the movie has some sort of storyline and a bit of a twist. This movie had nothing. No plot, no hero, no villain, nothing. Barely any animals are even shown and there's no big showdown between "man and beast". The acting was horrendous from all points which is shocking because some of them are decent actors in other films. The ending was the best part because it meant I could turn it off. There is absolutely no redeeming qualities in this entire film. Please do yourself a favour and find ANYTHING else to watch.

Believe the 1* reviews, the 9*s and 10*s are plants, this film has terrible acting, awful editing, atrocious continuity, watch the teroorists gun when hes asleep for one instance, leant against the plane then in his lap, ridiculous storyline, they do thing even in their state of panic you couldn't imagine doing, in fact there's not one redeeming quality I can think of, the actors in it have created something that they'd prob do at the end of their career when they revieved a massive tax bill and knew they were about to be evicted, even then an actor with any conscience would turn it down due to embarrassment, I will return to this review to see if its true score gets to around 2 or 3.

I wanted to love this movie. It has a fantastic cast and going into it I had really high hopes. What you get is a movie that could have been really great, but in the end was poorly executed. What will likely be the draw for most is the animal attack aspect. Survival horror... man vs nature. It's present, but they decided to take the Jaws approach here. A few people fall prey to the wildlife but the events are completely left to your imagination. I felt like they fell flat in that department in a big way. I wasn't looking for a gore fest, but you have almost ZERO animal human interaction here. The initial attack was a shock to me, but not in a good way... the way it was done. Very ambiguous. You see the characters and they are fine. When we're brought back to the scene after a cut to other characters, the attack has already taken place seemingly some time ago. I just wasn't a fan of how it all went down. Some characters do absolutely ridiculous things that make no sense. There's at least one huge continuity issue. Then there's an almost ridiculous spiritual undertone to this that I also felt was poorly executed. One of the main characters is dealing with a crisis of faith and he makes what I feel are some ridiculous choices that are supposed to be faith based. I feel like the writer or director has the notion that having faith negates the ability to reason. Indeed I've known some people like this, but it's not the rule. The kind of people who don't lock their door because God's looking out for them. Inevitably they're burglarized or worse. God gave you the ability to reason and a lock to keep people out 🤷‍♂️ I digress... This could have been a good film especially with the main cast. Unfortunately it wasn't, and for numerous reasons.