Bermondsey Tales: Fall of the Roman Empire

I couldn't give this movie anything more than one star. It was the most unimaginative piece of garbage I've seen in years. This tell it, talk about it nonsense, introducing each act, is a done and dusted technique, that needs no revival. If Ms Smith is hoping to further her career after that awful EastEnders soap she was in, then she'll have to do a bit more than just wiggling her ass (as scrumptious as it may be).

I found the whole cast to be somewhat wanting in the convincing stakes, with Ms Smith's attempt at a cockney accent, emphasising the whole shebang. I sat through the gruelling runtime of one hour thirty nine minutes, by which time, I not only wanted to slit my own wrists, I wanted to slit someone else's too. Sorry Mr Head, this attempt at whatever it was, was not for me, or most of the cast either, I'd imagine.

Please stop giving creative control to Michael Head. Bermondsey Tales doesn't seem to have any sense of direction, seems to have too many characters, and there's a lack of soundtrack in most scenes. Hardly anyone is likeable in the film and they mostly act awkward. One or two scenes weren't too bad but mostly a bore.

I spent the best part of half an hr trying to decide what to watch - then thought I'd rent a film on Amazon, and went for this. The reviews were pretty decent, so I had my expectations quite high, and it didn't disappoint.

This film is excellent - the main actor, Michael Head (I think he wrote some of it) is excellent, the cast they've put together are brilliant. Some really funny scenes and characters (especially the postman and Rabbit), and some really funny dialogue. I like the cameo from Tom Skinner too.

Would highly recommend it. I think I might rent it again in the future, as I think it's one of those films that's great, but would actually click together nicely on a second viewing.

It is easy to see why this Gritty Gangster comedy has been nominated for best independent movie for 2024. There are some fine performances from a Quality cast.

The film pocesses a good amount of Pathos in equal measure that'll have you laughing and welling up.

The movie gives an insight into South Londons crime world which highlights the comedy elements that's so often underplayed in Gangster movies.

Star of the show is Actor Michael head who also writes and directs the film, supported by the likes of Vas Blackwood. Gary Webster, Linda Robson and Maisie Smith, I enjoyed the many tales of the various characters, Top Adult entertainment.

If you love British gangster films and love comedies then this film is for you!

Bermondsey tales, is funny, laugh out loud funny. I watched it in the cinema and the room was filllwd with laughter.

The dialogue is witty and sharp feels like guy Ritchie, Tarantino and Scorsese had a cheeky love child with Will Ferrell!

It is also gritty and the plot has so many twists and turns it left me often shocked and always in suspense.

The cast is a who's who of gangster films and the likes of Frank Harper, Vas Blackwood and Alan Ford do not disappoint and are all brilliant. Then it also has some curve ball castings, John Hannah is brilliant and very out of casting type as this very funny paranoid gangster and Charlotte Kirk shines as his uncaring trophy bride.

David Schaal, Gary Webster and Charlie Clapham are add real meat to the bones and bring a gravitas and sense of grit and quality to the table.

Dan O'Rielly shows he is far more than a controversial comedian. He can really act and his club scene for me is the best thing about the film.

Maisie Smith, Alexandra Kate and Linda Robson also bring a nice female element to the film which is not often shown in this genre. Maisie being the brilliant stand out performance of the trio.

Finally writer, director and actor Michael Head is brilliant, his character is a loveable rouge and the script is as funny and genius with vivid characters that stick in your mind.

It is low budget and bit rough around the edges and you feel the money and focus was more on the cast and the acting rather than special effects or polish but personally I prefer than in a post marvel world where CGI has often replaced the need for good dialogue and actors.

So for a brand new old school gangster treat watch this film!