Bermondsey Tales: Fall of the Roman Empire

I couldn't give this movie anything more than one star. It was the most unimaginative piece of garbage I've seen in years. This tell it, talk about it nonsense, introducing each act, is a done and dusted technique, that needs no revival. If Ms Smith is hoping to further her career after that awful EastEnders soap she was in, then she'll have to do a bit more than just wiggling her ass (as scrumptious as it may be).

I found the whole cast to be somewhat wanting in the convincing stakes, with Ms Smith's attempt at a cockney accent, emphasising the whole shebang. I sat through the gruelling runtime of one hour thirty nine minutes, by which time, I not only wanted to slit my own wrists, I wanted to slit someone else's too. Sorry Mr Head, this attempt at whatever it was, was not for me, or most of the cast either, I'd imagine.

Bermondsey Tales is quite simply brilliant. Told in an episodic manner, Michael Head brings back the tradition of London characters, telling stories. Full of mad-cap tales of individuals and their escapades, you'll laugh till your sides hurt.

The leading cast are fantastic, with Head, Dan O'Reilly and Charlie Clapham bringing energy, one-liners and jokes a-plenty. It's also great to see the number of British legends - John Hannah, Frank Harper, Vas Blackwood, Alan Ford, Linda Robson, Vicki Michelle - all playing their parts. Without forgetting the formidable Gary Webster as the 'Head of the Family' and the excellent Maisie Smith in her debut movie role.

Michael Head has created a really entertaining film here and isn't that what most people want? Entertainment.

This movie is not for the snooty critics that write reviews knowing little about the working class love for a good old gangster tale that features that world but also everyday family dramas they can relate to. It's nicely divided up into chapters like a novel and features Latin, yes Latin descriptions as we go along.

There are a plethora of well known faces that keep up your interest too, from Jay's dad from the Inbetweeners to the sexy French lady from Allo Allo. Plus Alan Ford, Maisie Williams and Gary Webster. This cast of familiar faces rises the film up beyond the standard gangster tale and with a Guy Ritchie style, Michael Head keeps it all romping along including absolutely hilarious moments from Dapper Laughs and Vas Blackwood. Plus, genuinely sad moving moments. John Hannah also features in a charismatic cameo as a gnarly Scot.

It all moves along at fast pace with consistently good performances throughout. It's perfect viewing with a Chinese takeaway and a few beers on the go.

Writing, directing, acting in, funding and putting a film together is a huge operation when you're an independent film maker it takes guts, grit, determination and a never say die attitude, as someone who's been there I can only applaud Michael for what he has achieved.

Bermondsey Tales - an immensely funny creative look at how the South London Mob operated in the yearly 70ies and 80ies. A creative tale of "true criminal tales" told with imagination, a bit of tongue in cheek and a lot of humor. A must see for any South Londoner or gangster fan, or if you just enjoy a laugh.

A fantastic cast including many well known actors, with a few new commers that should be mentioned including the Writer and Director Michael Head.

Cast includes Gary Webster, Vas Blackwood, Linda Robson and Maise Smith to name but a few.

It tells the tale of the rise and fall of the mob and the various characters and their antics.

If you love British gangster films and love comedies then this film is for you!

Bermondsey tales, is funny, laugh out loud funny. I watched it in the cinema and the room was filllwd with laughter.

The dialogue is witty and sharp feels like guy Ritchie, Tarantino and Scorsese had a cheeky love child with Will Ferrell!

It is also gritty and the plot has so many twists and turns it left me often shocked and always in suspense.

The cast is a who's who of gangster films and the likes of Frank Harper, Vas Blackwood and Alan Ford do not disappoint and are all brilliant. Then it also has some curve ball castings, John Hannah is brilliant and very out of casting type as this very funny paranoid gangster and Charlotte Kirk shines as his uncaring trophy bride.

David Schaal, Gary Webster and Charlie Clapham are add real meat to the bones and bring a gravitas and sense of grit and quality to the table.

Dan O'Rielly shows he is far more than a controversial comedian. He can really act and his club scene for me is the best thing about the film.

Maisie Smith, Alexandra Kate and Linda Robson also bring a nice female element to the film which is not often shown in this genre. Maisie being the brilliant stand out performance of the trio.

Finally writer, director and actor Michael Head is brilliant, his character is a loveable rouge and the script is as funny and genius with vivid characters that stick in your mind.

It is low budget and bit rough around the edges and you feel the money and focus was more on the cast and the acting rather than special effects or polish but personally I prefer than in a post marvel world where CGI has often replaced the need for good dialogue and actors.

So for a brand new old school gangster treat watch this film!