My Freaky Family

Oh my... where to start. My Freaky Family is the most beautiful work of art I have seen since the release of the critically acclaimed film "The Godfather", but if I were forced to watch only one of those films for the rest of my life, I would choose My Freaky Family any day of the week. I mean it wholeheartedly when I say that I cried when I first set my eyes upon this film. It was thrilling, devastating, humorous, serious and tear-jerking all at once. Like the man who reviewed this film before me, I believe this film deserves to make at least $1 freakillion at the box office, but even only making that would be an insult to its cinematic value. I say it with pride, this is the greatest film to have ever been made. Ten stars.

Some people are saying the opening scene was amazing, but I see it differently. While others see incredible action, I see utter confusion. I had no idea who any of these characters were, and I was suddenly introduced to six characters with insane abilities that were never explained in any way-they were just kind of thrown at the audience. Then, after this confusing opening action scene, the movie jumps 15 years, and suddenly, they have a family. It's freaky.

The story didn't really make sense, with plenty of plot holes, including a literal hole where characters would fall in and never be seen again. The king, who was supposed to be the villain, didn't have a single good reason to be evil, only to completely flip at the first sign of trouble at the end of the movie. There was also a lot of grooming in this film, as the main villain essentially grooms the protagonist.

The freakiest part of the movie was the worm-bus guy, who literally says to a trio of 14-year-olds, "You guys like tongue?" Like, what does that even mean? I don't care if I quoted that out of context; the writers knew exactly what they were doing with that line.

Some characters were introduced only to appear in one scene and then never be seen again, even when it seemed like they would play a major role. Oh, and the brother? He kind of looks like Michael Jackson after all his surgeries.

My eyes have been blessed, set upon such a beautiful, glorious movie, calling it a movie can be such an insult. This is a life-changing story that I will pass down to future generations. I sat on my chair, didn't move a single muscle, and fully glued my eyes to the screen, focusing on the cinematic views. After I finished watching it, tears was overflowing through my eyes, and brown liquid came out of my ass. I sat there for a good 12 hours. Remember every single moment. After that I had to be rushed to the hospital because the massive brown substance was eating straight through my glutes, my entire butt was carved out, chunks of meat fell out. And I was infected with Hemorrhoids and tapeworms. I believe this life changing story motivated me to change as a man and look forward into the future with my tapeworms coming out of my booty like a tail. I'm a 32-year-old man married to my beautiful 12-year-old wife, This scene made me happier than seeing my firstborn.

My Freaky Family might just be the greatest film ever devised, and it deserves to make one freakillion dollars in the box office. The main character, is not freaky, but her family is, leading her to regard them as her freaky family. This is a clever nod to the film's title, My Freaky Family. All of the other characters are so wonderfully freaky that I can't help but get freaky along with them. This film has such an amazing opening, but I know I shouldn't spoil it so go see My Freaky Family in theaters for yourself. Honestly, you should plan on seeing it at least thirty times. Thank you, My Freaky Family, for enlightening me about this freaky family and all of their freaky activities. This film truly made me a freakier person.

This movie. Is the worst piece of cinema I've ever watched. False advertising it's horrible I can't do this anymore. I'd rather put my balls through a grinder than watch whatever you call this. This is a horrible. I sound like a broken record right now. But it's true that's just how foul this movie is it's the worst movie since madame web put me out of my misery I swear this movie being made is a heinous crime to humanity. Whoever made this needs to be punished and jailed in San Quienten or whatever that one cool prison is called. So in summery this movie is not worth the mental anguish that it will give you.