Mystery Island

So disappointing. I was really looking forward to this one based on the advertisements... Seemed like it could be a Knives Out, Clue, 1980s Fantasy Island mashup. Instead, it was just very bad. The acting is terrible - stilted and forced all around. The female lead has no range at all, maintaining the same stupid and usually inappropriate smirk throughout the entire film. The male lead is better by a hair and could possibly be decent with a different actress but I don't know that I'd count on it. The rest of the cast is only marginally better but the movie doesn't really give anyone a chance to shine. The story was choppy and disjointed, downright ridiculous at points, and dull, dull, dull. It's truly a shame because, while you know you're not getting world renowned writing or acting with Hallmark originals, the story did have potential to be an enjoyable mystery. The one that premiered the week prior, Mystery in G Major with Tamara Mowry, was super amazingly good. I'm hoping that series gets picked up and this one does not, at least not without a complete cast overhaul and different writing team.

Oh where to start! I iknow it's a Hallmark movie and therefore the story would be pretty simple and everything, but this was a total disaster.

The amateur sleuthing by the doctor and her dolaly sidekick Jjaniie was beyong ridiculous.

The chemistry/attraction bewteen the detective and the doctor was extremely cringe.

Overall it was so bad that I would not recommend it to anyone, even if they are bored stiff and need to do something with their time. Trust me there are lots of things you can do when you are bored, but watching this is definitely not one of them.

The acting was bordering on pretty bad too!

A decent attempt at something different for hallmark but the way it comes off feels patronizing. Would anyone really pay $10,000 a day to go to an island mansion that seemingly has no special ammenities? It might be all-inclusive but doesn't seem to include anything to do other than eat and drink. The characters, minus one or two of the male guests, are completely static; there is no growth or development and they leave the island the same as they arrived. Which i suppose isn't unlike reality but makes for an empty feeling movie. There is a scene where the two friends are sitting on a bed in a darkened room talking while wearing long dresses with empire waistlines that feels like something out of Sense and Sensibility and that kind of says it all about them. Elizabeth's concerned face looks like she's about to cry, otherwise she just looks smug. They try to make her character more empathetic by giving her a two lines about her father's recent death but that is more to check off the hallmark list of requisites (a dead parent or two). Kezia's character is more likeable, if rather silly, but does not carry herself like someone born to nobility. The women all try to sneak around the mansion in high heels on bare floors. In fact, they wear heels ALL the time. If hallmark is so worried about trying to make their actresses appear tall, hire some tall actresses. Either that or acknowledge that they aren't and let the ladies wear flats/sneakers. The common detective orders the police chief to collect evidence, and she does! Not to mention the evidence they use to solve the case, half of which is kept from the audience until the grand reveal, is so highly improbable as to not establish reasonable doubt.

It's the typical Hallmark we've been getting nowadays--low quality in just about every department. Poor acting with excess and unnecessary exposition. There's a comical establishing shot of the island toward the beginning of the movie, and someone thought it should also be titled onscreen "Mystery Island" because...reasons. The plot ends up not going anywhere, relative to the usual murder mystery. And once the truth comes out about how things ended the way they did for our victim, it also reveals that this story had a significant chunk of underlying support for the plot that was never there to begin with.

That makes for a dull visit to Mystery Island overall.

It isn't that hard to write a decent mystery. So, why did they give us this mess? Picking up evidence without gloves...Running around a jungle in high heels... "Stealthily" following a suspect wearing bright colors...sneaking around the open floor plan mansion in an over the top way.

The acting was over the top, the clothes were ugly and what little affinity you felt for some of the characters was wasted with the poor script.

While the idea had much promise...we can only hope there isn't a sequel. Or, maybe they scrap this mess and start over fresh with new writers, actors, set...new everything!