- Will McKenzie: Playing the guitar badly, wearing beads, talking about 'one love' and pretending you are friends with Central American villagers - who, by the way, despise you - before heading back to your parents five-bedroomed house in Surrey, doesn't make you a spiritual person, it makes you a bell-end.
- Ben: I think you're right about his song, Katie.
- Will McKenzie: Oh, fuck off, Ben! You don't believe in 'song lines' any more than I do. It's just a way for you to seem interesting to girls because deep down you know you're boring and pretentious like your stupid fucking dreadlocks. Which, by the way, always look embarrassing on white people. They're not countercultural, they actually scream 'Oh, I've got a trust fund!' so get a normal haircut, you unbearable prick.
- Neil Sutherland: There's something I always wanted to know too.
- Will McKenzie, Simon Cooper, Jay Cartwright: What is it?
- Neil Sutherland: How long after a poo do you have to wait before you can have sex?
- Will McKenzie: Please don't let this be my last thought.
- Neil Sutherland: Because I never found out.
- Neil Sutherland: If I were seeing things I'd be seeing something cool, like Optimus Prime banging Katy Perry.
- Simon Cooper: I do spend a lot of time with Lucy. Although she has changed a bit since we were on holiday. And, well, what's the word when someone's not nicer?
- Will McKenzie: Nastier?
- Simon Cooper: Yeah. I think that's it, maybe. She's nastier.
- Will McKenzie: After I'd explained to everyone that it was my rape alarm, and once they'd stopped laughing, we got some sleep.