Le jardinier

Was really looking forward to seeing JCVD again, sadly this isn't kickboxer or Universal soldier. It isn't even remotely close.

From the opening scene the bad guys with their balaclavas and Assault rifles, really scary looking apart from the fact they didn't have magazines in.

The guy trying to evade never got above grandad jog speed before meeting his demise.

I lost interest after that. However being a fan of JCVD I continue to watch thinking it's got to get better. Sadly it didn't. It's classed as a comedy but I didn't find any of it funny or amusing.

Now I need to make up the minimum a.....

STAR RATING: ***** Brilliant **** Very Good *** Okay ** Poor * Awful

Serge Shuster (Michael Youn) is a scatty-minded government minister, who finds himself on a government hit list, after a series of other officials are wiped out in quick succession. When a group of trained assassins invade his home, he is forced to defend himself and his family, with the help of Leo (Jean Claude Van Damme), the family gardener with a mysterious past, and a set of killing skills that come in handy.

In the words of the original martial arts action star Bruce Lee "it's better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war." That philosophy is put to the test by fellow, 65 year old martial arts star Jean Claude Van Damme, with his role in this peculiar French effort from writer/director David Charhon. Although with that in mind, he's co starring with fellow continental actor Michael Youn, both clearly dubbed, with only a thin line between madcap and methodical.

An action comedy is a concept that still has potential to work in execution, but the inconsistency in tone here is noticeably bouncy and unstable, with the main story and central characters becoming caught in the crossfire of this imbalance. It doesn't help that it outstays its welcome somewhat, overlong and with only a fairly standard action plot to sustain it. Sad truths, given Van Damme, although older now, can still pull off some impressive fight work, and even gets one or two laughs in, and the action in general is still enjoyable, keeping you hooked till the end, surprisingly gory here and there too.

There's some noticeable send ups of various action classics, including The Equalizer, First Blood and such, some of which hit the mark more than others. This ultimately emerges as a bizarre fusion of styles, that is sadly too overstuffed with all of them. ** and a half.

...it turns out the movie is a mess.

It tries to walk that line between comedy and action but the thing is it's never funny - not once. I mean it, it NEVER has a funny moment. And, as far as the action goes it's pretty geriatric and slowpaced. It's hard to write this but - the action is boring.

I gave it a 3/10 because of JCVD but...I mean...that's being generous.

...it turns out the movie is a mess.

It tries to walk that line between comedy and action but the thing is it's never funny - not once. I mean it, it NEVER has a funny moment. And, as far as the action goes it's pretty geriatric and slowpaced. It's hard to write this but - the action is boring.

I gave it a 3/10 because of JCVD but...I mean...that's being generous.

...it turns out the movie is a mess.

It tries to walk that line between comedy and action but the thing is it's never funny - not once. I mean it, it NEVER has a funny moment. And, as far as the action goes it's pretty geriatric and slowpaced. It's hard to write this but - the action is boring.

I gave it a 3/10 because of JCVD but...I mean...that's being generous.

Le jardinier (2025), directed by David Charhon, is a political thriller that follows Serge, a man burdened with a state secret, and his family as they find themselves on a government death list. Along with their gardener Leo, they attempt to devise a plan to survive, all while being hunted by forces beyond their control. While the premise offers a thrilling setup full of tension and intrigue, the film struggles to fully capitalize on its potential.

The performances, while competent, don't fully resonate with the stakes of the story. The cast, including the lead actor, delivers their roles effectively, but the emotional depth required to truly engage the audience is lacking. The characters, particularly Serge, feel one-dimensional, and the relationships between them fail to develop in a way that could heighten the emotional impact of their dangerous situation.

The film's pacing is another issue. The suspense builds at a steady pace, but the plot often feels disjointed, as if key moments are rushed or underexplored. The intrigue of the government conspiracy and the tension of the family's survival are present but fail to fully engage the viewer due to the lack of significant twists or character development. The screenplay, written by Charhon, Vincent De Brus, and Sébastien Fechner, keeps the story moving, but it often relies on genre clichés that diminish the film's originality.

Visually, the film has a polished look, but the cinematography lacks the style and energy needed to elevate the suspense. There are moments of tension, but the film doesn't fully lean into its potential for creating an immersive, high-stakes atmosphere. Instead, the tension often fizzles out before reaching a satisfying climax.

While Le jardinier has a strong premise and offers some moments of excitement, its lack of emotional depth and reliance on predictable thriller tropes make it difficult to fully invest in the characters and their journey. It's a film that could have been far more engaging with stronger character development and a more intricate plot.

Rating: 4/10. A tense thriller with a solid premise, but hindered by underdeveloped characters, pacing issues, and a lack of emotional depth.

Watched about half of this move and then walked, so maybe during the second half it completely turned around, but I don't think so. And my expectations weren't that high: I was expecting just another typical JCVD movie, but was disappointed badly. Even for a JCVD vehicle the characters were caricatures, and in case of Micheal Youn's character, simply annoying. The acting is flat, the lines delivered like they were red from a teleprompter.

It's trying very hard to be an action comedy and it is failing miserably. The level of comedy would maybe mildly amuse my 5 year old niece at some points, but even that is a maybe. If you want French comedy try a Louis de Funes movie, if you want action watch an older JCVD movie, but this one is best skipped.

In short: it is a waste of time.