chexmix

... I've decided this was quite good. I'm hovering between a 7 and 8.

At first my main thought was "Meh. So Judaeo-Christian-specific that this atheist cannot find a thing scary about it." However, even if it is within that tradition, it does some surprisingly daring and fresh things inside of it. This is a movie with ambitions, and it is stylish enough and solidly-acted enough to pull most of them off.

I particularly liked the performances by the two leads. Both roles could have easily led to lots and lots of scenery-chewing, but neither Cunningham nor McIntosh go this easy and tired route: they are both subtle, varied and positively aces, as is Douglas Russell as the feral Sgt. MacReady (his role does call for some scenery chewing, and he does it well).

I absolutely adored the ending. Kudos.

Watchmen, the graphic novel, was dark, brutal, and frequently thrilling.

Watchmen, the movie, is dark, brutal, and ultimately flat and boring.

For the life of me, I can't figure out why I feel this way. On a surface level this film seems to have done everything (well, almost everything) it could to be faithful to the universe Moore and Gibbons created. Obviously, a lot of people worked very hard to make this movie what it is.

Perhaps it's the fact that none of the actors (with the exception of Jackie Earle Haley, pitch-perfect as Rorschach) seem to be doing very much. In their defense, it must be hard to breathe much life into these characters: who, for example, can find a connection with and breathe life into a god-like glowing blue guy, one of whose chief qualities is that he's feeling disconnected from humanity? I don't know, I confess.

Still, they should have (says the former actor) found some way to do it ... and only one of them (Haley) did.

I also have an irrational dislike of Patrick Wilson ... so that limits my appreciation of any film with him in it.

As has become cliché: the book was so much better. Sigh.

I'd like to sincerely thank the makers of this film, for showing that this type of thing can still get made.

Is Bacterium great art/cinema? No. But I like to imagine that the filmmakers may well have said, when it was all edited and done and the last booger flicked away, "No, we didn't have a kerjillion dollars, but we made this with all the love we have, and now we offer it to you. Have a blast." Yes -- that is corny. I'm getting old.

If you watched Deadly Spawn and loved it, give this a try.

Obviously low budget? Check. Acting that veers wildly from watchable to really bad? Check. Kind-of-cheesy score that harks back to the 1970s or (brrr) 1980s? Check. Script that has giant holes, couldn't really be called "well-crafted," but is occasionally quite clever? Check. Distinct lack of flawless, soulless CGI? Check. Other distinct lack of Keanu Reeves or Kevin Costner standing around being out-acted by the cinematography? Double check.

Friends, I didn't think this was even possible any more. Okay, Bacterium has longeurs, especially early on, but once the booger monsters get going, watch out! And these brave, brave actors: they may not rise to the levels of your Olivier or your Carrot Top, but -- they not only do fierce battle with big balls of half-dried snot, they sometimes roll around in them.

In the end I love Bacterium 200,000% more than any given product of multi-million-mega-McDisney-wood, if only because it ISN'T all about the money.