Polygone

I'm sure I wouldn't give this movie all them stars if I saw it today. But I know exactly why I did back then.

I don't remember what age I was exactly. What I do remember is the loneliness of the closet. I remember changing channel as my older brother went into the living room for a minute. I remember living in shame. I remember quivering as I watched Tobi struggling and finally come out. I think I cried.

I'm not sure it was the first gay-themed movie I watched but it definitely wasn't the only one that had this tremendous effect on me ( The two first ones that pop into my head are Brokeback Mountain & Shelter, bot leaving me weeping a while after the end). I could go on with movies that got me feeling so sad yet so full of hope as I was. Or about the ones that I saw or re-watched more recently - as I continue to grow older and more confident with my gayness - that got me thinking and feeling joyful all the while being less normative than a whole of coming-out/coming-of-age gay/bi-themed movies. Oh; that could be a good movie list "Non-normative movies and shows for sad gay kids"! I'll get to it soon.

The director, Chloe Zaho said she's hoping "for the audiences to leave the theater feeling that they have gotten to know a group of very complex characters and to have a glimpse into just how diverse and vivacious the Lakota people of Pine Ridge really are, instead of the two dimensional stereotypes we often see represented in today's dominant culture". Well, it's a success.

This movie spoke to me of love and care. Of family - in the most broader sense that this big concept can be stretched to - and belonging. Of home and community. There's something real sweet about it... A real tenderness in the way it is filmed, in the way these characters' stories are told. Some sort of hope in the face of the disappointments and obstacles they may and do encounter. A hope that lies in the love and care of the siblings, Jashaun & Johnny for one another and, more broadly, in the bound the people of Pine Ridge have to each other - and for some to the land itself.

There's something utterly haunting about this movie. Something that lies within the whole atmosphere created by the atypical cinematography & the story itself. I've seen this film three times and am touched every time a bit more. Henry Barthes is one of the most haunting, wounded character I've encountered in films, movies or whatever and the portrayal done by Adrian and, once again, the cinematography communicate perfectly his sadness and the whole helplessness & unforgivingness I felt characterized this story and, well, life itself - in fact, almost every characters in this story is wounded in one way or another and actresses & actors did a great job.

For everyone who enjoyed this one, I recommend Short Term 12. Seen this one today and it made me thought about Detachment for some reasons - read there that there's some similitude in the theme and that both of them had me crying almost the whole time.