Citations

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.

[on success] Most of us live our lives devoid of cinematic moments.

One of the few advantages to not being beautiful is that one usually gets better-looking as one gets older; I am, in fact, at this very moment gaining my looks.

[on feminine hygiene aids] There are a lot of men who manufacture the product who are so reluctant to talk straight about it that you can spend hours with them and not hear one anatomical phrase. They speak of 'the problem'. They speak of 'the area where the problem exists'. Every so often a hard-core word slides into the conversation. Vagina, maybe. Or sometimes from someone particularly scientific or candid, a vulva or two.

I don't care who you are. When you sit down to write the first page of your screenplay, in your head, you're also writing your Oscar acceptance speech.

I am continually fascinated at the difficulty intelligent people have in distinguishing what is controversial from what is merely offensive.

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.

The desire to get married, which - I regret to say, I believe is basic and primal in women - is followed almost immediately by an equally basic and primal urge - which is to be single again.

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.

Summer bachelors, like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be.

My mother was a good recreational cook, but what she basically believed about cooking was that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.

I try to write parts for women that are as complicated and interesting as women actually are.

In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind.

My mother wanted us to understand that the tragedies of your life one day have the potential to be comic stories the next.

What will happen to sex after liberation? Frankly, I don't know. It is a great mystery to all of us.

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.

With any child entering adolescence, one hunts for signs of health, is desperate for the smallest indication that the child's problems will never be important enough for a television movie.

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Beware of men who cry. It's true that men who cry are sensitive to and in touch with feelings, but the only feelings they tend to be sensitive to and in touch with are their own.

Whenever I get married, I start buying Gourmet magazine.

As far as the men who are running for president are concerned, they aren't even people I would date.

A successful parent is one who raises their child to be able to pay for their own psychoanalysis.