Mount Hideaway Mysteries: Exes and Oh No's

Now, I will admit I like to dunk on poorly produced films, and I deserve to considering the level of ineptitude associated with these projects and the pain they cause. Mount Hideaway Mysteries is one of the movies that deserves its ill treatment.

The biggest issue with this film requires some research, and you will quickly notice why the tone is so wholesome and relatively neutral. Much of the production team is from the world of "faith based" film making, and this project was most likely an attempt to create a spy mystery show that takes the violence down a couple notches from the network tv shows. The problem though is the fact network television is the toned down version of premium and cable shows. Essentially, it's a watered down, relatively bloodless and violent free showing....which revolves around a story that is based around death, violence and implied destruction. So how do you accomplish a toned down show that is meant to tackle heavy story ideas? You don't.

To start, we get some limited back story about Bethany Shanholtz, the best operative from a nameless agency. She's the best despite lackadaisical fighting skills (which isn't helped by the dull editing), questionable gun handling skills and an inability to bake pies. Okay the last one is not the sign of a good agent, but you know where I'm going. The main actress is simply not convincing. She woke up one day and said "I'm gonna be a secret agent!" and with the help of some other people that have a high opinion of their abilities....this atrocity was made.

Now this was supposed to be a television show, which I can understand the idea possibly being suited for that format. But even then, this would have been a short lived series. The story of a mega corporation trying to take over a small town with the backdrop of an explosion, a missing person and assorted bloodless bodies dropping, they tried squeezing into a trilogy (?) of potential movies just didn't have enough meat and potatoes. I say trilogy because this group of people working on this project probably thought they could go all "Hobbit" on this idea and magic up other movies primed for third tier streaming networks. At minimum...we were promised a sequel.

Anyway....this review has gotten way too long. Much like this movie. By the way, the movie is way too long. They probably could have shaved out the awful home school/co-op proselytizing and made the final product trimmer, even though it would not help much. The music is bad, the acting is weird and everything is just so basic.

Watch this movie for the bad factor and then move on with life.

A rating of 4 is generous. Less than stellar acting but a good or great story, it would be worth watching. Great acting with a not great story, may also be worth watching. This movie was bad. I felt like I was watching an entire movie with actors all performing in their first roles and the story was disjointed, with scenes that made no sense, and the plot was only modestly contiguous. Whether the book was written poorly or it was the screenplay adaptation, I don't know, but don't waste your time on this stinker of a film. I figured out early on who was behind it all, and even the satisfaction of knowing I was right can't erase the poor quality of this production. And to add insult to mental injury, there is no real ending... which is just plain annoying.

I chose to watch this BECAUSE OF the low reviews. Yes, I seek "outside the box" movies. Actually when I saw on IMDB that the lead actor didn't even have a photo, I knew is had to be a creation by first-timers. The first review I read confirmed this as well as give me more stuff. It's budget was a mere $130K. This bad acting, story and directing is why I go to high school plays. Mainly, I'm SO Sick and Tired of Typical American movies. It's not great acting that bothers me, it's the hideous Reality of American movies. Everything seems to require Magic. Think! Even James Bond movies are now fantasy, magic and fairy tale. Those shoot-outs, chase scenes, and OMG I hope women don't really go for that. I also watch Foreign films to get some Reality. There must be a conspiracy to make us stupider.

-- I'll add to the complaints about this movie by saying Bad Editing. Other reviewers say "disjointed" & "incongruous." I suspect those who made the movie also edited it themselves--big mistake because they who Know the story can't see that the viewer Won't know that somewhere in the script, but not in the final cut, is crucial information. Fifteen minutes in, I hear, "The explosion," and I restarted it to learn What Explosion? It keeps coming up later. That must have been something that fell out on the cutting room floor. There's reference to "an argument last night" that we never saw. Also, there's Bad special effects. At 13:47 there's a car in a stream, but it's bad photoshopping of two photos. No shadows, no blurring of the edges, ick! In that scene: Rose is Missing. That's all we ever see/hear, but her death is discussed and we see her tombstone. (However... go ahead and watch the movie for more on this.) -- Yet, this movie inspires me. Almost makes me want to start making movies. There IS a story. The plot is Not one we've seen a hundred times--a few similars are out there. Old "The Spy Who Came in from the Cold" (1965) may have been the first of this concept. An intel officer wants to quit the business, but has to go back for one more assignment. This movie has the added twist that the "agency" cannot help. That's also not unique, but how about we think of this as a bunch of neighbor kids putting on a frontyard play and we get to smile and encourage them. It's fun to decide who's the best actor, and the worst. No actor here was great but I vote Elizabeth Kadeli as best because she could say a Lot just with her expressions.

-- There some myths in this story that personally annoy me. When I was in the military, I learned some fundamentals about handling classified information, and most movies seriously mess it up, as does this one. People Don't simply walk into the next room to talk about secrets. Grrr. But I love the lines regarding Bethany's mission, "... and if it goes south, I'm hung out to dry." "Yeah." -- THAT is reality even for "efforts" that Are officially sanctioned.

-- Another movie myth is that local people investigate murders. Now that's aways done by the FBI, who has vastly more resources and none of the bias. I love Beth's use of the strobing flashlight. Those things really can mess with a person but then banging her forehead onto the bad guy's only gives mutually bad headaches. (The right tactic is to bang forehead to the nose.) And now Beth started a myth by saying 20 apple seeds can kill someone. 83 will make a small child sick and we'd need 500 for a large adult. Usually, sheriffs don't handle things within a city because they have their own police department. Although some counties with tiny towns designate all law enforcement to the sheriff's office. But this town "has three traffic lights," so I think that's big enough for city police.

-- One thing I like about this is Conspiracy Reality. If you were to take a political science class, you'll find these kinds of conspiracies are TYPICAL everywhere. Most don't jump into a series of murders, but most Could. This stuff also happens in Your hometown.

-- A skilled person really can take a pistol away from someone. I just wish they'd actually show her hands when Beth does it. (My son, a former cop, can even disassemble a Beretta while someone's pointing it at him, then poke the person in the eye with the Slide.) -- I give this movie 4 stars NOT because it's bad but because I strictly give Five for any AVERAGE movie. I save eight and nines for legendary hits and epics. It's like... when I visit someone's home and the dinner they serve is not tasty, I still eat it, don't complain, and thank them. I can do the same with a bunch of first-timers' movie.

I thought it would be nice to watch a clean mystery. I like a lot of them, but this one is just very poorly made. The acting is very poor by much of the cast, and the storyline seems to be written by a teenager. Everything is non-specific to keep it appearing exciting while you can tell the writer had little experience. The cast keeps fawning over the main character and her "talents" even though she doesn't show very impressive aspects of those talents. She's too young to be an agent, which is why this feels like it was written by a kid. Not to mention all the main cast appear to be younger than twenty. Luckily, there are lots of cute animals sprinkled throughout to make the movie more bearable. Anyway, the movie had a semi-good premise, but it's not well executed. I'd probably skip this one.

This Movie had it all a awesome cast with great acting skills awesome action scenes and a storyline that got me hooked from the beginning I totally recommend this movie for a late night watch!