Don't Drink the Water

Don't Drink the Water (1969) was based upon a play by Woody Allen. I saw this film on the idiot box a few years back. I wasn't that impressed with the movie. Basically it's a Jackie Gleeson movie, you have the honor of watching him mug in front of the camera doing those unamusing eye tricks, blinks and boggles. On the other hand it wasn't dreadful or ghastly. Just your average comedy from that time period. Woody Allen remade the film several years ago for the tiny screen. I never had the chance to watch it. Oh well. It has to be better than the first film adaptation. I recalled an interview with Woody Allen, the interviewer asked him what was his impression of the film. He said something to the effect that at least they paid him. My thoughts exactly.

C

Comedic story of Americans traveling in foreign countries, and the mis-adventures they run into along the way. Unlike most other writers here, I like the 1969 Jackie Gleason version of Don't Drink the Water MUCH better than the later one starring Woody Allen, who WROTE the thing originally. In the original, the irony is that Jackie Gleason is a big and blustery loudmouth ( a real stretch for him) , but up until the end, not much gets accomplished, in spite of all his yelling and storming around. Also stars Estelle Parsons (Bonnie and Clyde) and Ted Bessell (probably best known as the hen-pecked boyfriend on That Girl). When the diplomat leaves the country, his son Axel (Bessel) fills in, and things take turn after turn for the worse. The debate to remake movies or Not to remake movies continues. Directed by Howard Morris, who had directed both live action and animated comedies for years.

"Don't Drink the Water" is an unbelievably bad film. It's based on a 1966 Broadway play by Woody Allen. It stars Jackie Gleason, the comic genius behind "The Honeymooners". The director, Howard Morris, has appeared in several Mel Brooks comedies (Life Stinks, High Anxiety, Silent Movie)and has made a mark in animation (characters he has voiced include Gopher from "Pooh", Jughead (Archie)and Beetle Bailey) What went wrong?

I think the problem is that the premise is played out too seriously to work effectively. Allen's original play was tongue-in-cheek, which is why it worked on Broadway and in Allen's 1994 remake. The screenplay by R.S. Allen and Harvey Bullock beats the premise to death and makes too many changes from the original play. Making Gleason's wife an airhead in this version when she was a headstrong woman in the original is just one example of why this doesn't work.

The acting isn't much better. Gleason does the best he can with the material, but he can't save this. Gleason was a comic genius , but also a fine actor as he demonstrated in "The Hustler" and "Soldier in the Rain". His abrasive personality could have worked here, but the lousy script doesn't even give him a chance. Too bad. Estelle Parsons' airhead wife will drive you nuts after 20 minutes. See how soon it'll take for YOU to want to strangle her. That is also a shame because she is also a fine actress, having turned in two exceptional performances in "Bonnie and Clyde" and "Rachel, Rachel" None of the other actors do particularly well either.

Woody Allen hated this film so much that he remade the film in 1994 with himself and Julie Kavner (Marge Simpson) in the leads. They manage to hit all the right notes and the film itself is a comic masterpiece. It's finally on video after a long battle over rights. Do go out and find that version. All the 1969 original is good for is clearing out unwanted guests who overstay their welcome.

1/2* out of 4 stars

I saw the version starring Woody Allen and feel it is far superior to this film. The play was a hit on Broadway and starred Lou Jacobi.

Allen wasn't a big name when this film was made, so he didn't direct the film and the studio did what they wanted with it.

It's the story of a successful caterer, Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason) and his family, wife Marion and daughter Susan (Estelle Parsons and Joan Delaney) who are on vacation. Walter had wanted to go to Miami, but Marion wanted a tour of Europe. So they went to London, Paris, Barcelona, and Rome. On their way to Athens, their plane is hijacked.

They land in a Communist country, Vulgaria, and are taking photos when they Vulgarians go after them, thinking they are spies. The American Embassy saves them and protects them. They can't leave until their travel is arranged.

Their fate is in the hands of a bumbler, Axel (Ted Bessell), the son of the Ambassador. He makes mistake after mistake and his negotiations with the big shot on the other side, Krojack (Michael Constantine) don't go well. Meanwhile the Hollanders are trying to figure out how to escape and go home.

This is a funny and entertaining film, but Allen's version is laugh out loud hilarious, and Allen is a scream. The funniest scene here for me was when Walter is burned in effigy, and they dress the mannequin in clothes identical to Walter's - very loud and very funny.

Gleason is way out there in the role, very Ralph Kramden, and Parsons as his cheerful wife is very good and looks great - I know her only as an elderly woman, but she's always been a terrific actress. Bessell is excellent as well as a sincere goof-up.

Good but not great. See the Allen version, which was done as a TV movie.

Seeing as Woody Allen was the credited writer and there was a talented director and cast involved, Don't Drink the Water had much potential. But while it is nowhere near as bad as some have said it could have been much better. It does have a fair few bright spots. It is not a bad-looking film, even if very 60s, the fashions are lovely to look at and give a real sense of nostalgia. Jackie Gleason does his absolute best but while he can be a little too abrasive he is very amusing. Richard Libertini also looks as if he's having fun, making his dialogue funnier than they deserved to be, and Michael Constantine gives very skilled support. There are a few good gags and pieces of dialogue, like Gleason and Constantine's confrontation, the spontaneous riot against the US embassy, "do you think it was a place that sold, guns, guards and barbed wire?" and the ahead of its time "that's the state department for you". Estelle Parssons is a mixed bag, she has moments where she's charming and her chemistry with Gleason is reasonably good but I do agree actually that she does come across as too much of an airhead. Ted Bussell is little more than a charmless dunce and the rest of the cast have nothing to do and can't do anything to make them shine. The film also feels very pedestrian, with a ridiculously overlong introduction, a story that can drag and be bloated and has some slack editing that really hurts the timing of most of the gags. The script has moments but for Allen, due to how much is changed, it lacks the sharpness, bite and wit that you associate with Allen to the extent it didn't sound like Allen's writing. It also didn't feel farcical enough, there was need of more energy, the humour was uneven and it could be too serious and not broad enough. The music sounded tacky and forgettable and really dated the film. All in all, there are some bright spots and there's much worse out there but Don't Drink the Water to me was rather average. 5/10 Bethany Cox