Last of the Red Hot Lovers

What do you expect from Neil Simon except everything! He turns dialogue into chamber music. He is the consummate artist of speech. Yes, he can do plot too - and that's an understatement - but at his best, he is a COMPOSER. This movie is about a homely middle aged man TRYING to have a romance. It is most poignant and painful, with little comic relief. The critics thought it deserved only one star. Critics seem to regard awkward, homely characters as not worthy of depiction, except in comedy. They are also very partial to big budgets with lots of excitement, car chases, etc. Talk is not cinematic? Who said cinema should be cinematic? Life is cinematic enough!

Neil Simon scripted this film version of his play, in which an almost constantly flustered Alan Arkin plays Barney Cashman. Barney is a middle-aged owner of a fish restaurant who feels rather dissatisfied with his ordinary life. He mistakenly thinks that the way to inject some spice is to have an extramarital affair, and as fate would have it, his mothers' apartment is vacant one afternoon a week. He meets with a succession of women whom he tries his mightiest to seduce: Elaine (Sally Kellerman), a cynical, unemotional sexpot with a very direct approach, Bobbi (Paula Prentiss), an air head, obnoxious entertainer, and his own friend Jeanette (Renee Taylor), a cuckolded wife suffering from melancholia.

Directed by Gene Saks, this never really comes off as cinema but more a photographed play, even with a number of outside shots. As such, it's very reliant on characterization and dialogue, and it proves to be fairly watchable. The performances, especially from Arkin, are basically stage performances that come across as over the top on film. And it's kind of hard to care all that much about this average-Joe schmuck in the lead role, and why he feels so compelled to cheat on his wife. The sequence with Kellerman tends to be the most amusing; she's fantastic in her role. Prentiss is a little much; her character could definitely be annoying to some viewers. Taylor is fine, but this woman she's playing will likely be a matter of personal taste: can a miserable person with self-esteem issues be all that funny under these circumstances?

Simon, of course, does come up with some entertaining lines of dialogue, and admittedly, Arkins' reaction to getting "stoned" is a hoot as Prentiss convinces him to try marijuana.

Fans of Simon and the cast will likely be a lot more forgiving than the average viewer.

Six out of 10.

Based on one of many Neil Simon plays that occur within a single room with varied vignettes, this one concerns a man (Arkin) who wakes up and decides that his life is too dull and safe and needs some spark in it. So he daringly and trepidatiously uses his mother's one-room apartment to set up a series of afternoon liaisons with women he finds desirable and each of the trysts has unexpected and mostly comic results. First he meets up with Kellerman, a jaded, sophisticated bitch who has lost most of her feelings, but still enjoys the sensation of sex. Next up is wacky Prentiss, who babbles on endlessly while displaying signs of what this generation calls ADHD and inventing all sorts of possibly-imagined drama for herself. Finally, he invites troubled, married Taylor, who is enduring her own husband's infidelity and wants to pay him back. By the time Arkin has dealt with this trio of misfits, he discovers things about himself that he hadn't originally realized. It goes without saying that the production is stagy in the extreme. The set even contains the ever-present (and much loathed by experienced theatre critics) couch DEAD CENTER in the playing area. Attempts have been made to "open up" the story slightly and extend the ladies' parts a bit, but this only draws attention to the main playing area and the repetition of it all. Arkin gives a fully-committed, deeply thought-out performance in a role that really showcases the female roles more than his own. He, however, isn't always delightful to listen to as he pontificates and screams with regularity. Kellerman is perfect for her part and has some funny throwaway lines (notably after she coughs for an eternity and then asks for something besides water afterwards.) Prentiss also performs admirably in a role that requires a particular brand of nuttiness. Her unusual vocalisms probably would be better suited to the stage, but the whole project is better suited to the stage. Taylor is probably the least endearing of the three, even though her character is likely meant to be the most sympathetic. She, like everyone in the cast - right down to the bit players - seems to be portraying the most strident and grating aspects of a New Yorker. It would almost count as an insult to the people of NYC were it not a project written and directed (and mostly acted!) by true blue New Yorkers! So it had to be intentional. Arkin's voice often sounds exactly like Jerry Seinfeld's. There's a reason that "Seinfeld" was just a half hour long and that he never starred in any films. A person can only take so much. That may be why a little of this film, even though it has some very amusing content at times, goes a long way. By the time Taylor shows up, it's already overstayed its welcome.

This is a classic in my eyes, Arkin couldn't have been better. I love the long takes and the sometimes senseless arguments between the characters. I also like the score, it fits the time nicely. This is the movie that made me an Alan Arkin fan.

Barney Cashman, a middle-aged fish restaurant owner, is starting to contemplate the idea of dying for the first time - faithfully devoted to his wife of several years, he decides to have an affair. Something beautiful, something decent... an interlude of romance and beauty to reassure him that his by the numbers existence was in fact, worthwhile.

Well, somebody should have told him what Ellen Burstyn said to Alan Alda towards the end of 'Same Time, Next Year'... 'There Is No Such Thing, My Love.'

Instead, he arranges encounters with three different women in his mother's apartment - Sally Kellerman, a cold, callous and unemotional woman whose notions of realism clash violently with Barney's eagerness to be gentle; Paula Prentiss, a drug addict actress whose only feature film was intitled 'I Married An Ape' ( The Same Story As 'Wuthering Heights', But With Some Gorillas And Some Surf Riders... ) and Renée Taylor, a seemingly fiery woman who, in fact, suffers from a deep state of melancholia.

Like any other Neil Simon gem, this is an in-depth commentary on one main character's psyche intertwined with hilarious bits and one-liners. Being no exception, 'The Last Of The Red Hot Lovers' is about one man's quest to free himself from the drearyness of every day life. The unsuccesful attempt he makes to free himself from Barney Cashman and become 'the last of the red hot lovers'. The deconstruction of Barney Cashman comes through those three woman, whose extreme life styles make him realize how there is no such thing as a pure and decent extramarital affair.

Sounds depressing? Well, it isn't. Simon blends character study with comedy in rare fashion, and makes this as delightful as any comedy can be, and as profound as any drama can be.