Le monstre attaque

This massively incoherent, dumb, cheesy and amateurish Italian early-eighties "movie-thing" rewards itself with the title "Alien 2" but there's very little, even no relation with Ridley Scott's Sci-Fi masterpiece that single-handedly altered the status of the genre. This is written and directed by Ciro Ippolito. Who, you say? That's right, even in the gigantic world of Italian rip-off cinema he's an absolute nobody, and then still "Alien 2" appears to be his best work. Poor guy… Anyway, this definitely isn't the most blatant& shameless Alien imitation we've ever seen, as Ippolito actually just stole the claustrophobic setting aspect as well as the idea that the extraterrestrial perpetrator initially requires a host-body to grow in size and appetite. The story opens with reports from a spacecraft having encountered severe 'problems' on their way back to earth. Next thing we know the ship crash-landed in the sea and the nearby area lies strew with intergalactic blue stones. Meanwhile, an 8-headed group of young amateur-speleologists descends a cave with one of them blue stones in their backpacks. Naturally, it isn't just a stone but an alien's egg, and when the critter emerges from it, it goes straight for attacking the face. Oh, and did I mention there's a cautious attempt to a sub plot about one of the lead girls being telepathically gifted and trying to communicate with the alien? Okay, the cave-setting admittedly was a nifty idea and it's much more original than other Alien wannabes like, say, "Inseminoid" and "Forbidden World". But the script is so damn stupid and the first 40-45 minutes are dreadfully boring. The gore is good and rather repulsive to behold, but there nearly isn't enough of it! The schlock-highlights include someone's head slowly getting separated from the rest of his body and, a couple of minutes later, another guy's head gets blown to pieces. That's pretty much it, apart from a few cheesy images of human faces reduced to messy bits of pulp. The ending is fairly atmospheric and tense, even though it doesn't make the slightest bit of sense like so many other parts of the film. Don't expect to receive any explications, neither, because you just get cool-sounding warnings at the end, like "You May Be Next!". Next for what? To have my face chewed off by a blue stone? The Angelis Brothers' music is surprisingly good & catchy, albeit quite overused, and there's a nice bit of totally gratuitous nudity as well. "Alien 2" is a truly bad film, but there still are far worse ways to kill 80 minutes of your precious time.

They've got some nerve calling this film Alien 2: although certain elements have clearly been inspired by Ridley Scott's 1979 sci-fi horror classic, the film as a whole couldn't be more different…

Want tense, claustrophobic, space-bound, futuristic action? Not a chance. Sulla Terra, the film's subtitle, translates as On Earth, meaning that the film takes place on (present day) Earth, and under its surface in an admittedly impressive looking cavern. Unfortunately, this means we get endless tedious footage of the characters wandering around the cave, the director so preoccupied by the wonderful rock formations that he forgets all about telling a coherent story, throwing in such random nonsense as a telepathic speleologist just for the hell of it.

Looking forward to seeing a cool alien creature? Sorry. This film's extraterrestrial starts off as a blue rock, turns into a red hand puppet in a moment that rips off Alien's chest-burster (although I admit that the face-burster scene is pretty cool), and finally becomes a mass of indistinguishable and very unconvincing tentacle thingies.

Expecting ground-breaking special effects? No dice. This is a low-budget Italian production, so all we get is some grainy stock footage for scenes involving a space mission returning to Earth, and some cheap gore. Thankfully, the latter is pretty juicy: the aforementioned face-burster sees the victim's eyeball pushed from its socket before the creature erupts; one of the cavers has his head chewed off, the severed noggin (complete with assorted giblets) falling onto the rocks below with a satisfying 'thud'; and another guy's head explodes to reveal thrashing tentacles.

What about a thrilling finalé? I don't think so! After a couple of encounters with the creature, the last pair of survivors emerge from the cave to discover that the planet is totally deserted, with the exception of the alien, which chases them around for a while, director Ciro Ippolito employing dreadful alien POV shots. Eventually, Ippolito becomes as bored with proceedings as his viewers undoubtedly are, abruptly ending his film with a caption warning the audience "You may be next!". It's a lousy way to wrap up a fairly dismal film which is barely worth enduring for the gore (and a bit of gratuitous topless nudity from star Belinda Mayne).

The budget in this one is VERY VERY low, the colors are not right, and the gore is not very bloody and FAKE looking. The blood almost looks like paint and the aliens make me laugh. For an Italian horror film, this one ranks as one of the worst. I purchased the UNCUT Japan release thinking I was going to see some cool Italian splatter. Boy was I disappointed! The acting of course is bad (It's ITALIAN after all) and the movie pretty much all takes place in a cavern-like place. As far as Italian cinema goes, there are plenty of better and more violent horror/sci-fi pictures than this, including SHOCKING DARK and CONTAMINATION. I would seek those out instead of this piece of trash.

Rating: 3/10 because of some LAME but bloody not-so-special F/x.

A lot has been written and said about Alien 2. The unauthorized follow up of Alien. I watched it years ago and just could remember the falling head attacked by an alien. So I watched it again. But my only concern was to catch the uncut version, English language. A lot has been said about the running time too. I have seen versions that goes up to 100 minutes, here on IMDb and other sites they say 92 minutes but when you catch a seller of Alien 2 it's always 82 minutes long. So I did catch me the 82 full uncut version as said on the cover. The full uncut should contain the falling head, the exploding head and the head sucking. There is also a nudity scene taking place, my copy was intact. All I can tell is that it is a slow starter. A lot of blah blah and a lot of bowling scenes. When they finally descent the gore starts. But again in a slow way. Everybody hates this movie, strange, it is also one of the most searched OOP's due to the falling head. I have seen worser but don't expect a follow up of the original Alien, the budget is way to low for that. So it goes on and on, all those horrorgeeks will once in their live being caught by this flick. As said on the end credits, you could be next...

I've done my best to track down the worst "King Kong" rip-offs in the world, now I'm doing the same for "Alien". And some of the copycat offenders of this one are awful. But the good news is - this one's not bad.

After a brief intro about the return to earth of a spaceship where all the astronauts were dead and/or hideously mutilated (or something), the main action of the film gets going with a group of people exploring an underground cave. Among them are people involved with the investigation of the spaceship, including a (slightly) psychic woman who senses the presence of...something.

The reason the film entertains is because of the well made scenes set in the cave. We follow the cavers through lots of perilous exploration, which starts off with the usual terrors of ropes snapping, long falls, dead end tunnels, etc, but soon starts to move into "Alien"-type territory as an unseen menace starts chomping on the cast! Scenes are well shot and there is some tension in the scenes all the while it is not clear what is actually going on. There's also some surprising gore as the characters die in bizarre ways. My only disappointment was that the extreme darkness of some scenes obscure a lot of what is going on, but generally the darkness works in the film's favour.

Bizarrely, the film does eventually leave the confines of the caves, but in a baffling change of location, the climactic scenes are filmed in...a bowling alley (?)! I can only assume that it is very likely that the bowling alley was known to the film makers and they got a very good deal for filming there - apart from that there is no possible logic behind the choice - it's really not a scary place at all! Things that work are: The acting - even with English dubbing, the performances seem quite good. The music - a cheesy "BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM synth score amused me greatly. The ending - which is as unexpected as it is unexplained, and finally the monsters: it's a case of less is more here, so don't expect to see any big rubbery creations.

Made on the cheap I presume, but a lot of the low budget is covered up by keeping the project quite modest. It's definitely better than "Galaxy of Terror". I'm please to say I own the UK pre-cert video which has a really nice sharp picture and is reportedly uncut. A modest DVD release would be nice...