La polizia brancola nel buio

"La Polizia brancola nel Buio" (The Police are blundering in the Dark) occupies a place of honor among the bizarre gialli. Even for a Giallo, "La Polizia brancola nel Buio" is quite strange: the film begins with a bang; a girl is driving on a road and suddenly a flat tire forces her to stop by the road. She looks around and sees someone nearby, and she asks him to help her in changing tires. He promptly goes there to help her and the girl says: "molto gentile" (that could be translated as - very nice of you). Suddenly the face of the girl changes from a smile to an expression of terror; the stranger had a pair of scissors in his hands, and starts running after her with murderous intentions. She runs through a forest, hitting branches, and losing one by one her upper clothes, till her tits are bare, it's then that the killer reaches her and slashes her throat. Sex and violence!

After a while, there's another girl on a road, and she's forced to stop her car in front of an inn, her car must be fixed, and to crown it all, rain starts to fall, a heavy rain. Will this girl survive the inn? Well, anyway, this girl is wet, she wants to get dry, so she warms herself by the fireplace, but not before taking all her clothes off. It seems that there's someone in the room, or is it just imagination? These two girls and other ones had been going to a villa nearby to make photo shoots. This villa is inhabited by odd characters; many film scenes are filmed inside its walls, the characters do nothing much, they dine, talk, play cards, and there is the owner of the villa that invented a camera that photographs thoughts… and so on. There are many people who think that this part of the film is boring, but I haven't felt this way – the dialogues are completely over-the-top, and things are weird and ridiculous. And just don't forget – there's a killer on the loose.

This film could be cool, if the director had some sense of style, but no, the death scenes and everything is kind of pedestrian. I think that the only way of breaking the limits of a low budget is through the imagination, and this (in a way) is something the filmmaker lacks, but the film is so uneven, incoherent and amateurish, that it has some strange kind of charm. Why? I don't know. I've seen this film twice already.

First, this movie was made years before 1975, but didn't get released until 1975, when long movie titles with "police" were trending, due to the popularity of eurocrime. This movie was meant to have been titled The Salad Garden or something, but they changed it. This however, is a cheap and poorly executed province giallo with at least one recognizable face, most other actors you probably rarely ever saw before - and for good reasons. I don't know where to begin, you need to see for yourselves, but the bizarre salad dinner scene has some of the most hollow dialogue and acting - and not to mention the overlong crazy scientist scene performing his arts on a regular home mixing table, randomly pushing knobs for what feels like several minutes. Good lord, how did Vinegar Syndrome even go the whole mile restoring and releasing this mediocrity, when there are real low budget diamonds waiting to be recovered?

I guess, after having seen 140 genuine gialli and another 40 giallo-ish thrillers, I have to accept that all the really good ones are discovered already. The only ones that occasionally still float to the surface are obscure, low-rated and forgotten for a reason. The omens for "The Police are Blundering in the Dark" were quite negative from the start. Filmed in 1972 but not released until 1975? 1972 was THE most productive year for the Italian giallo ever! Dozens of gialli were released in this year, some of the best but also many mediocre ones, so how bad must it have been not to receive a release in '72? Three years later the gialli was as good as extinct, but this film still had to be released. You know what? The Poliziotesschi replaced the giallo in terms of popularity, so let's give it a new title with a reference towards the police. Minor problem, maybe... there isn't a police officer in sight throughout the entire film.

And yet, I'd lie if I said I didn't enjoy "The Police are Blundering in the Dark" at all. The script is really poor and hardly makes any sense, but the film features three extended and gruesome murder sequences, during which the female victims are largely naked before getting sliced with scissors, knives or letter openers! Isn't that the essence of gialli?

Moreover, and I just discovered this (thank you, Wikipedia), the name of writer/director Helia Colombo is a pseudonym of Elio Palumbo, and he happens to be the songwriter of - hands down - one of the most beautiful songs ever made; - namely "Tornerò" by the band "I Santo California". If you don't know it, look it up! Fascinating how the creator of such a pure and heavenly song, also made this sleazy and misogynic thriller.

Following her strange disappearance, a man begins looking into his girlfriends' strange arrival at a small town that eventually leads him to a remote house occupied by a series of bizarre figures with a deadly secret that eventually brings a killer to the house knocking them off one by one.

This was a maddeningly ineffective and problematic giallo. Among the few positive points with this one is the ability of the film to at least work in the traditional genre elements somewhat effectively enough throughout here. The series of stalking scenes here aren't that bad, with the opening attack of the victim by the side of the road or a woman getting stalked in her bedroom while being spied on undressing and taking care of herself before going to bed, offering up some rather intriguing elements familiar with the genre. Both offer up clunky if still somewhat extended chase scenes featuring the unsuspecting victims going about their lives before running into the madman and being knocked off in silly-yet-brutal fashion featuring a slew of suspenseful stalking tactics and some fine nudity in the process. Other scenes, like a garden-set stalking scene or the killer taking out a victim in gruesome fashion before leaving the bloodied body to drown in a bathtub, make for equally sleazy and graphic encounters that set the stage for the wild finale that bring about some inventive twists for its positive points. Beyond that, there's just not much to this one that works. The main factor to be had here is the interminably boring and dull setup that has almost nothing at all interesting happening for long stretches. The whole idea of the disappearance taking place nearby and him coming to her aide to try to find her is a decent enough hook, much like the later investigation that turns up the family living in the remote house where he starts looking into the truth but it has just nothing all that exciting happening during this time. Dealing with a skeevy gardener making uncomfortable eyes at the young daughter, a scientist trying to make do with his latest discovery while being confined to a wheelchair, and the multitude of side characters that populate the house should've been a recipe for something to happen as he makes his way through the family uncovering what happened. Instead, everything is just undeservedly bland or drags on interminably with the outright worst of it being a dinner sequence that offers up nothing of any interest about anyone and never seems to end even with the notion of them being spied on the whole time. The other factor to this one is the general air of cheapness over everything here. The villa where everything takes place could've had some atmosphere but it's way too bright and cheerful to be effective at generating an air of danger, the flimsy effects give themselves away at nearly every opportunity with the outright goofy manner of their execution trying to look intimidating, and the whole presentation of the fabled machine that gets involved here is a straight mystery as we get nothing about what it is or how it works. The concept of the machine is such that it stretches credibility with how it even manages to catch the killer in the first place, and trying to place the actual figure doing the crimes at the point they were committed is a stretch at best and a gaping plothole at worst as it involves time-travel to pull off. It all comes together into one of the more underwhelming and bottom-tier gialli in the period.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Nudity, Language, and sexual scenes.

Talky, nearly gore-free, and overlong at under 90 minutes, The Police Are Blundering in the Dark might be one of the least interesting giallos ever made. While most giallos aren't known for their award winning scripts or realistic dialogue, there's usually a little style or sleaze to keep one's interest, but this film is too coy and pedestrian to keep one's attention.