Allô, je craque

Well, this film finished off that sentence. This is the worst movie I have ever seen. Seriously and with no exaggeration. It is just awful. The entire movie is about Whoopi Goldberg's character talking on the phone. It's one of those movies where it starts out bad and you keep watching it saying "It's got to get better sometime, right?" Nope. Imagine talking to a monotone-voiced salesperson on the telephone for 90 minutes....that would be better than watching this film again.

If you want a better combination of Ms. Goldberg and a telephone, check out "Jumpin' Jack Flash," a very funny, if a little silly, comedy.

Or, if you want the second most awful movie ever, give "The Truth About Charlie" a look. The entire cast and crew should be forced to place formal apologies on Audrey Hepburn's and Cary Grant's graves.

Little-seen comedy is out-of-order. Whoopi Goldberg-addicts were still around in 1988, despite the star's penchant for playing in dumb action-comedies that tarnished her overall appeal. Still, even hardcore fans would be hard-pressed to sit through this misfire, a troubled production that Whoopi tried unsuccessfully from getting released. She plays Vashti Blue--a terrific character name--an actress with a pet owl (!) who spends much of her time arguing on the phone. Vashti is neurotic, but not funny; Goldberg was encouraged to improvise dialogue by the suits at New World Pictures to bring some of her sassy stand-up act to the picture, much to the displeasure of Rip Torn, who directed. Torn was apparently in over his head--and seems to be a mismatch with Goldberg's fast-patter urban style. The screenplay (by Harry Nilsson and Terry Southern, of all people) doesn't offer us anything but a harangue, and Whoopi's star-presence fails to give it an edge. Shapeless and static. Goldberg had veteran cinematographer John A. Alonzo fired during production, replacing him with her husband, David Claessen. She also says her cocaine addiction was a factor in the film not working, but that "potheads absolutely love it."

I rented this movie from a small video rental store in Los Angeles, and found it to be hilarious. I've been looking for it ever since and I have not been able to find it. This little known early work of Whoopi G shows you want we had in store. Her comedic timing is splendid. SEE IT IF YOU CAN FIND IT... and then let me know! I want a copy!

Whoopi... you go girl!

Love it or hate it, it's impossible to remain neutral about this movie. It's kind of like watching a train wreck-tough to look at, but equally tough to tear yourself away from. One thing its detractors point out is that the story is just not movie material, and they do have a point. This piece would play far better as a stage play or on TV, but it is totally unworkable on the big screen. Whoopi is one of the greatest talents of our generation but even she can't make this premise work. Since it more or less all takes place on one set, it does become claustrophobic. Still it does have its moments- Vashti Blue is definitely one sick puppy but she's still fascinating. This part is an actor's dream. And in lesser hands than Whoopi's this could have been a total disaster. It would have been easy to turn the whole part into a grotesque caricature but Whoopi, pro that she is sidesteps that. She makes the character oddly appealing. A definite wack-job, yes but also a very touching one. You definitely feel what this woman is going through, and almost wish you could help. And that ending? Whoa. I definitely did NOT see it coming, and afterwards I felt like I'd swallowed an ice-cream cone whole. I won't give it away, but suffice to say it's VERY disturbing. Personal taste will have to dictate its level of success.

I've never seen a movie like this before in my life. Whoopi's peformance is nothing short of remarkable if the film itself is nothing short of incoherent. Its hard to really like this movie but its impossible to not get sucked in.