Mutant on the Bounty

Flush a guy down the toilet? That's really funny. (Yeah, right!) This film starts out looking serious, despite its title, with nice production design. Idiotically, a jazz musician gets a phone receiver pulled through his face, which is enough to give the overweight but otherwise in good health captain a fatal heart attack (This is supposed to be funny?) The scarred-up guy is hunted down, has sex in the shower with one of the crew, and deals with a transsexually-minded android who likes to put on women's clothing. As wild as that might sound, it is bogged down in tedium, and succeeds neither as a comedy or as science fiction.

For the first few minutes this looks like it might be an undiscovered OK SF movie. A routine trip by exploration ship is interrupted when they intercept a particle beam transmission. Should they divert to intercept this beam? It's been out there for a long time traveling through the void. One of the characters points out that "They used to execute criminals by beaming them to nowhere." Hey! a nice neat little SF idea I don't think I've ever heard before - the crew decide to intercept the beam. As they do so discover it's an unknown file type! Another novel, almost funny idea - 10 minutes into the movie and we've had two passable good ideas! (most bad SF movies mostly scrape by on one - or less) unfortunately that's it. After that ran out of ideas and couldn't think of anything to do with the ones they had. The rest of the movie is deathly dull, totally unfunny and soooooo boring.

The "French" doctor's accent is so thick you loose half her lines (I guess they made her French so they could show her smoking during an operation - that's the level of the humour). The villains are mind numbingly stupid - letting the crew gather unsupervised to endlessly discuss ways of escaping. The acting is abysmal (though John Fleck as the android Lizardo and John Durbin as Manny the slimy sidekick baddie look like they were trying to make an effort - an uphill struggle given the leaden direction and plodding editing).

The music is really crap too.

Yes this is a terrible film and yes that is a phone you see in the main characters face but any film is worth watching at least once don't let this review put you off ignore the terrible dialog and abysmal special effects and just enjoy the sight of the security officer with all the personality of a microwave, literally and the bad guy in the "...one place he is always alone...the s**tter" i've never looked at a toilet in quite the same way!

There's bad, and there's bad. "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is bad but at least it's so consistently awful that it's entertaining in a slow-motion-train-wreck sort of way. "Mutant" is bad and exceptionally boring to boot. I've seen better writing and acting in old Ultraman episodes. Absolutely dreadful.

Reviving B-movies is one thing, and unfortunately, MUTANT ON THE BOUNTY doesn't fit well in the modern, contemporary year of 1989 when movies were made to really attract viewers' tastes. This would have been a fairly decent film thirty years prior to this release, without the lame jokes and terrible acting performances. Even the sets are poorly designed, too! Who on Earth would let the actors wear their original garments in a spaceship anyway? It's also unbelievable that I counted 13 "F" words spoken, making it the highest number for a movie rated PG-13 by the M.P.A.A.! Here is yet another lame-brained comedy that gets tossed out of the window. Ranks right up there with LEONARD, PART 6!