Les magiciens du royaume perdu

It's not a good thing when the first thing you notice in a movie is the bad costume design. It's not just the spangles on everything, like Wigstock gone mid-budget, it's someone who's clearly the Wookie -- he looks to be about seven feet tall and wears a costume made from freshly washed, white poodle fur, who is usually shot at crotch level. Well, I suppose there were all those costumes from THE BIRD CAGE just lying around....

Anyway, story. Yes. Wizard Thom Christopher in a darling spangled hat kills the old king and takes over the castle and, presumably the kingdom, if he could find it. The old king's son, Vidal Peterson is a wizard, but not a very good one. He hooks up with wandering warrior Bo Svenson and the aforementioned fake Wookie, and they go on a series of poorly designed, low-level D&D encounters in their quest to get the magic ring. What magic ring? Shut up, he explained.

Along the way, there's a lot of sets from Dollar Store's Post-Christmas. sale There are also bat puppets, computer effects designed on a Sinclair ZX80, and lots of people in spangly hats. This was the year Bo Svenson joined the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Coincidence?

This movie is truly brilliant. It ducks through banality to crap at such speed you don't even see good sense and common decency to mankind go whizzing past. But it doesn't stop there! This movie hits the bottom of the barrel so hard it bounces back to the point of ludicrous comedy: behold as Kor the Beergutted Conan wannabe with the over-abundance of neck hair struts his stuff swinging his sword like there's no tomorrow (and the way he swung it, I really am amazed there *was* a tomorrow for him, or at least, for his beer gut). Don't miss this movie, it's a fantastic romp through idiocy, and sheer bloody mindedness! And once you have finished watching this one, dry the tears of joy (or tears of frustration at such an inept attempt at storytelling) from your eyes because some stupid f00l gave these people another $5 to make a sequel!

Go immediately and rent this movie. It will be be on a bottom shelf in your local video store and will be covered in dust. No one will have touched it in years. It may even be a $.50 special! It's worth ten bucks, I swear! Buy it! There aren't very many films than can compare with this - the celluloid version of that goo that forms at the bottom of a trash can after a few years. Yes, I gave it a '1,' but it really deserves much lower. 1-10 scales were not designed with stuff like this in mind.

According to the page for this swords-and-sorcery disaster, Warriors of the Lost Kingdom was originally made in Argentina. That comes as no real surprise to me, since half of the dialogue doesn't even try to match up with the actors' lip movements. So what else can be said about a movie that everyone else in the world has already mentioned? Well, I guess I'll start off by explaining how I came about this movie. In all fairness, I would have never recognized the title if it had not been for the hilarious review on the Jabootu bad movie Web site. So while scowering the Family section of my local Star Trax video (a B-movie fan's paradise, as I quickly found out), I immediately knew the movie by its title and pictures on the back. Of course, the video cover tries in vain to make this look much more interesting than it actually is, so I weep for the poor kids who rented this wanting a good time. Sorry boys and girls, but this is one stinky Argentinian film that no one could enjoy outside of the camp value. And believe me, this thing has tons of camp. As my friend and I threw comments at the screen, there were numerous moments where our jaws just dropped. That sequed into out and out laughter, as certain elements are simply ridiculous. For example, the "big name actor" here is BO SVENSON. Who, you may ask? Who indeed! He's the only one whose voice isn't dubbed, and he has a thick country accent in a medeival time setting! Of course, nobody else here knows what period of history they're in, either. The villain looks like a pharoah, his minions are Skittle-colored midgets, ninjas, and Arabian nights, and his woman is half mermaid/swamp thing! I'm not going to go into anymore specifics, because this is honestly something you have to experience fresh. So if you're like me and happen to stumble upon this turd, be sure to pick it up if you're in the mood for some insanely bad fun. Truth be told, if Mike and the bots were still around, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom would be a great subject for them to study. 0/4 stars

Someone watched a lot of fantasy movies and thought: Hey I can do that. Well I would argue, no you can't. No offense to whoever did this. Maybe there was interference maybe other influences ... whatever the case, this is quite the hot mess (or cold mess if you prefer that).

There is I guess a Chewbacca style character that is just ... I mean I guess you can view him as cute too. If you watched this as a kid ... who am I to say what you should feel about this? But Production values and everything cries ... in agony and pain. Even the actors it seems struggle ... then again maybe this has nothing to do with the movie but with their "talent". I'm not going to suggest anything.

Still believe it or not, I have seen worse movies. This can have some moments that are sort of fun (and I'm not talking about the not very well aged Special effects or in camera tricks) ... nothing one has to have seen ... unless they are as crazy as me I guess