Le mal par le mal

This is such a wonderfully dorky, cheesy movie. I have always liked it, and I've watched it many times. I love the clothes, the soundtrack, the hairstyles, everything. The story is pure crap, but I enjoy it nonetheless. Perhaps the best part of all is the actors who've achieved so much since then: a pre-Matrix Laurence Fishburne, a pre-Jim Carrey Lauren Holly, and best of all, a pre-Hedwig John Cameron Mitchell! Who could have imagined that cute little silent Crazy would grow into the singing, song writing victim of a botched sex-change operation? Not I. It just makes Band of the Hand more fun. And was there ever a cooler Indian than Joe? I think not. My siblings and I giggle like mad whenever he appears on screen.

When I was a kid, I used to watch BAND OF THE HAND all the time because it always came on HBO. I know it's a cheesie movie, but there's something about it that makes it cool. Is it the fact that Bob Dylan sings the theme song? Is it future star Laurence Fishburne in an embarrassing pre-fame role as a drug lord? Or is it the cool shootout's on the playground and the drug factory? Whatever the case, it's a neat nostalgic piece from the Reagan-era anti-drug Zeitgeist, and it just equals cool.

This is one of those movies that you had to see when it first came out. It also helps I think if you were the same age as the kids in the movie. The locations were magnificent. And some of the performances were not too shabby either I might add. This was an atypical 80's movie, set in Florida (do you think that a Miami Vice relation was intentional?). When I was a kid I loved this movie, and upon watching it again recently, I didn't even remember how cheesy it was. I just remembered these 5 deadbeat kids, forced to work as a group to survive, and everyone thinking that it would never work. Even now that I've seen it and know how cheesy it is, I still just remember it the way I used too.

Trashy, brainless, and oh-so-80s action melodrama stars Stephen Lang ("Avatar", "Don't Breathe") as Joe, an American Indian & Vietnam veteran who runs a program to reform troubled youth. Five punks - Ruben (Michael Carmine), J.L. (John Cameron Mitchell), Carlos (Danny Quinn), Moss (Leon), and Dorcey (Al Shannon) - are dragged out to the Everglades and deposited there, where Joe teaches them survival instincts and teamwork. Once back in Miami, the gang is *somewhat* more mature, and they go up against vicious drug runners including Cream (Laurence Fishburne) and Nestor (James Remar).

To be honest, "Band of the Hand" is a hard slog for a while, since it's hard to give a damn about our protagonists for an extended amount of time. (This IS an overlong movie.) But things improve as "Band of the Hand" progresses, and debuting feature director Paul Michael "Starsky" Glaser gives this production a certain amusing amount of 80s excess. It bears the mark of its executive producer, 'Miami Vice' creator Michael Mann. It's noisy, it's silly, it's violent in a sometimes cartoonish way, and it's got a hip soundtrack. The centerpiece of said soundtrack is a priceless, catchy rock ditty written and sung by Bob Dylan, with Tom Petty's band The Heartbreakers backing him up.

The acting suits the material. Top billed Lang is fine in a low key portrayal. The young cast is lively, with a cute Lauren Holly playing Carlos' love interest. Remar is okay as our primary villain, and other familiar character actors like Paul Calderon, Bill Smitrovich, Michael Gregory, and an unbilled Martin Ferrero all turn up as well.

This is a decent, fun movie overall, even if the script ain't so hot. As was said before, it goes on a bit too long, but for the most part, it's *not* boring.

Seven out of 10.

The people who rag on BAND were probably the same who bought Don Johnson sport coats in the 80s and are now ashamed. You trendy-then now-pretentious fools, it's not supposed to be freakin' Shakespeare! BAND is a stylish 80s flick with plenty of heart, action and coolness. It's the ultimate fantasy for 15-year-olds. Five troubled 'yoots' are sent to an experimental last-chance program in the Everglades run by Joe, a mysterious Miccosukee Indian/Nam Era elite commando. (See? Already off to a good start)! Joes lays it down: learn to live in this wilderness or die. The 2nd half of the movie (and 'program') takes place in a Miami ghetto run by local drug lord LARRY Fishburne, replete with cute lil' lines buzzed in the sides of his high-top fade. (There's also an underaged Lauren Holly to consider, long before that drooling idiot Carey came and went).

War ensues in the hood as Joe trains the yoots to fight. Purists and prudes can shove it...when Dorcey's machine gun lights up the street from the roof of the feel-good 80s pastel renovated crackhouse it's a spinal moment. The characters don't have to be 'deep' cause they're all the way likable and automatic gold star for the guest appearance of a vulcan cannon (aka "that's a goddam minigun!") If you don't dig this flick, YOU'RE OUT OF MIAMI!