Blood Hook

Blood Hook is a surprisingly well-directed D-movie. What I mean is, I picked this film expecting nothing - an 80s derivative slasher with no budget that i'm likely to turn off in 10 minutes. But there are enough skillful ingredients here that I stayed for the full duration. Now, would I have done so if I double-checked and saw that it was 112 minutes long? Advisably not; BUT: this was a competently made nothing, to the degree I will be sad if the director went on to do nothing after trying their best with the nothing they had to showcase their talents with.

Pros: the 'backstory' mysterious death sequence succeeds in introducing enough unique intrigue to rope viewers in to the meandering main plot. I don't know what it is, but there's this big cart on tracks that's used to go downhill to the pier? And the use of it is the kind of odd, dreamlike imagery that really deserves a better movie. And during this-as well as being reincorporated throughout-a song that seems made for the film, a lynchian ballad about fishing, coos its way to being a signal of fishing-related terror. #2- the characters are quickly well-defined. They may be shallow, but we do get a sense easily of what their archetypes are. And they do play out their roles in the plot to entertaining effect, even if in a B-movie fashion. By the end we have a vietnam-vet nutjob, a spoiled brat boy, and a doom prophet working with our sleepy once-native-of-the-small-fishing-ville protagonist piecing together the murderer. I want to convey to you that while this movie does fall into the old shtick of a runtime mainly comprised of people ditzing around to waste time, it is all naturally-paced and cleanly edited time-wasting. Im surprised the film goes so long in the runtime because unlike typical ripoff slasher fare, it is not overly long, unmotivated scenes that roll long after someone should say 'cut'. The banal sequences clearly have directing behind them, and even plenty of thought-out shot placements and compositions to try making it more palatable.

So really I can't say this is elevated to higher art, or even horror-the gore/special effects are definitely the most miserable part of the production here-it knew how to be a movie that keeps you engaged enough to keep watching. And the mystery of who the killer is was clearly known from the start. To the point that you can easily see past the red herrings and figure it out halfway through but- that's better than slashers that just have it be totally random, right?

And yes, the gong sound made me laugh before I could name what internet phenomenon I was recognizing it from, until it happened agin and I realized they have the same gong from the Taco Bell ads, pitched descending in spooky fashion. But a real laugh, like some of the details you can pick up on in the movie.

Not a wholehearted recommendation, but... it wasn't too bad really. There is something there; at least worth a vinegar syndrome restored blu ray or something for the niche horror goons.

Blood Hook (1986)

** (out of 4)

A small town in Wisconsin is having their annual fishing contest, which draws people from all over the country. A group of young adults plan on having some fun but before long they notice several people are going missing. It turns out that a mysterious person is using a fishing hook to kill people.

BLOOD HOOK is a film that got released by Troma and it turned into a pretty big hit on VHS. The film is a send up of the slasher genre, although it doesn't go too far over-the-top in regards to laughs. It's easy to see why the film would gain a cult following but I must say that I had a few too many issues with it that prevented me from enjoying it more.

I will say that I really enjoyed Jim Mallon's direction and I thought he did a very good job at building up the atmosphere of this small town. I also liked the look of this small town, the wooded area and the lake itself becomes its own character and a good one. I'd also argue that there are a few creative moments in regards to some of the death scenes and I liked the "fishing" nature of the murders.

With that being said, this thing clocks in at a whopping 111-minutes, which is a good forty-minutes too long. I really don't understand why this thing lasted so long and especially since there are so many scenes that just run on and on and on. There are so many characters here and many of them are given a lot of screentime for no real purpose. I really thought the film and its style would have worked a lot better with a 70 or 80-minute running time.

I also thought the majority of the characters were mildly interesting but just not enough to warrant the time. The death scenes are good for what they are but there weren't enough in that long running time. BLOOD HOOK had enough interesting moments to make it worth sitting through to this rabid horror fan but I think most people will be completely bored by it.

It is kind of funny that someone who would later be one of the forces behind a television show that made fun of bad movies would have one on his resume. Not that it is all bad, for a Troma movie it does have its moments. This one is not as goofy as a lot of Troma movies get, in fact it is one of the more straight horror movies I have seen from them. The only thing odd is that people are being killed with a fish hook and reeled in like fish. And no the people are not being killed by a giant fish (though that would have been rather good). This one instead is a basic slasher with the mode of death being the only real unique touch to it. Unlike newer Troma movies this one is a real movie too. They had a movie advertised on my copy of this called "Tales from the Crapper" and it basically looked like a tape of Girls Gone Wild. So this one looks great by comparison. Like a lot of slashers you don't know who the killer is and they try to fool you, but in this case once you know the killer the movie goes on a bit too long after. It runs about 10 minutes more than it should. Though this is not a cinematic classic it is not all bad especially considering it is a Troma picture.

This is one of the better B-horror movies out there. Being a person who watches these kinds of movies every couple days, this one actually stands out from the rest of the ones I've seen and long since forgotten. I can see why Troma picked it up.

There are some actual funny parts in this movie that are seriously meant to be funny. Usually movies don't pull that off very well. But the jokes in here are actually good ones. I liked the one about Elvis Costello being someone that parents listen to, I really don't like his music so that was cool to me.

The characters are good, too. I like the guy with the fishhook earring who tries so hard to be cool with everybody but no one really gives him a chance. When he's talking to the German guy and using all this slang that I have never even heard, it's really funny. Usually that kind of stuff isn't funny, but I laughed out loud for some reason.

It's funny, too, how they incorporate the Devil's Interval or whatever it's called, into the events. That group of notes really did exist back in the day, and people weren't supposed to use them because it supposedly was evil. I was wondering when a horror movie would pick up on that. And it's funny that the guy who figured it out in the movie was some rock and roll music theory composer college student.

The very athletic lady with the baby was a strange character. Her line "I like that" was kind of unique and everything about her made the movie seem more real when the rest of it seemed kind of cheezy. It's a good cheezy, though.

Besides, how many people own a giant fishing lure that is hooky enough to snag someone so they can't get away and then strong enough to pull someone right off of their boat into the water and able to be reeled in? That's some tackle!

The dummies of the dead people under the dock were actually super gross and looked real to me. Dead things under docks in water always freak me out anyway. And these were well-done, I thought.

So yeah, watch this one if you're a b-horror movie fan. Don't let the box cover deter you away. It's not a lame movie about girls in bikinis water skiing. In fact there are no scenes that even have the slightest resemblance to the cover. It's a good movie.

"Blood Hook", Terror of the fresh water fishermen. It's a typical slasher movie of the 80s. A group of kids go somewhere. They meet an assortment of strange characters. One by one the characters get killed off in a bloody way. Bad acting, a poor plot, and ridiculous situations permeate this movie. All the usual stuff for a rip em up movie such as this. This blood and guts spilling movie takes place on a fresh water lake among a group of fishermen during a fishing tournament. That may be unique, I don't recall seeing a fisherman slasher movie before. Someone kills off people with a huge treble hooked lure. That's what makes this movie a little different. Fishermen might get a kick out of this one. This is something to watch with your fishing buddies after a day of fishing. Sometime when your not in the mood for a really serious movie anyway. Another thing different about this movie is that Jim Mallon directed it. This is the same Jim Mallon that directed Mystery Science Theater; a show that pokes fun at badly made movies. "Blood Hook" would be a prime candidate for that show. I saw "Blood Hook" on a DVD I rented called Troma Triple B-Header containing three movies, "Blood Hook", "Blades" and "Zombie Island Massacre". Low budget, low quality, simple stuff. I got what I expected and a few unexpected laughs to go along with it.