Deadtime Stories

So, to tell the truth, the first reason I wanted to see this film was to see that actor from FAMILY TIES in a gross-out horror film. But, despite a few cheesy effects, this film is two-thirds a dud.

The first story, about witches, is a wash-out.

The second story, a parody on Little Red Riding Hood, was better paced, but still lacking in any real dramatic thrust(except for that of Red, when she meets up with her boyfriend). This is the one that Scott Valentine is in, and although an improvement on the first story, it still bit the big one.

The third story, however, works. Goldi Lox is a psycho, and the Bears are thieves. This makes for a perfect coupling, until sex comes into play. Then, things get nasty. This segment is the best of the three stories, and maybe if the other two stories had been as strong(and funny), the overall film would've been better.

As it stands, however, DEADTIME STORIES isn't exactly the best way to spend 90 minutes. It is slow in many sections, and the low budget is evident. But, if you don't mind fast-forwarding about an hour, the Goldi Lox story is a real hoot. Otherwise, THE OFFSPRING is a far more superior anthology film.

My review was written in May 1986 after a Cannes Film Festival Market screening.

"Dead Time Stories", originally titled "Freaky Fairy Tales", is an unsatisfactory horror comedy in three segments. Only audienced is diehard fans for special makeup effects.

Structure closely resembles that of "Creepshow", with a little boy demanding that his uncle recite scary bedtime stories to help him go to sleep.

Only the first tale is effective: a low-budget but interesting to look at medieval story of Peter (Scott Valentine), a fisherman's son sold into slavery to two witches. He saves a girl they intend to sacrifice in order to conjure back to life their warlock brother (using remains of his heart fetched from his grave). Makeup effects are very impressive here as the heart gradually recreates the whole body by spouting blood vessels, sinews and red creeping flesh in an amazing set piece. Half-hour story also features a funny trick ending.

The following two segments of "Dead Time Stories" are truly terrible and a test of any audience's endurance. Part Two has the story of Red Riding Hood updated to the present with Rachel (Nicole Picard) as a sey girl in red jogging togs who goes to the drugstore to fetch Maalox for her granny. The Maalox is accidentally mixed up with a drug fix for wolf Willie, who is a sleazebag as well as a werewolf. He bites, and kills granny when he goes to her house to exchange the drugstore parcels and is in turn done in by resourceful Rachel. Guess what Granny turns into?

Idiiotic finale revamps the "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" tale into sophomoric slapstick. Goldie (Cathryn De Prume) is a blonde with a big chest who killed her parents at age eight, followed by other killing sprees. She's just escaped from an insane asylum as have Mr. Baer and his lame-brained son, sprung from stir by Ma Ma Baer (Melissa Leo). The four of them team up and fight it out with the local cops. Oddest element of this amateurish segment is the casting of Melissa Leo, a talented young actres, with black wig and some makeup as the matriarch with an adult son.

Technical credits and acting are weak throughout.

Three stories, only one is good, the others are okay. The gimmick of twisted fairy tales is stretched a bit, but works well enough. Where it falls apart is with the framing device and the last story, which is so hokey and over the top that it almost ruins the movie. The middle one is the best with the first one being a solid meh. Still worth seeing as a whole, but there are far better anthologies.

Fairy-tales gone bad, devilishly bad, in this total "B" cheese-fest anthology movie from obscure 80's horror heaven! It's an oddball flick, adding a lot of absurd and black humor. Bad actors and very low budget but still some cool & gory special effects (one scene in the first segment even had me thinking about the resurrection of Frank in "Hellraiser", of course a little less impressively staged this time). The last segment is as retarded as it is genius. And it's got Goldilox showing some upper nakedness. I just cannot flunk this bad boy; I had way too much fun with it. And regardless the painfully low production values, it does manage to be fairly original & spirited. Die hard horror anthology lovers should check this out some time.

I recently made it a point to try and see every horror anthology movie I know about. Having neared the end of my "mission", "Deadtime Stories" sticks out as being surprisingly good. Creative effects, clever stories, and just the right amount of dark humor make this one a great movie to watch.

To start with, the wraparound story, while being somewhat tried, is dramatically saved by the character of the sleazy uncle. All he's trying to do is get his nephew to fall asleep so he can watch the Miss Nude competition. His introduction to the Runninghood story is terrific. I must have missed getting to hear THOSE fairy tales when I was a child.

The first story is the darkest of the three, Peter and the Witches. Its highlights are a hot blonde with big breasts and a stomach-churning sequence of a fully-regenerating body. It has a chilling ending, with an intentionally-corny "alternate" ending told by the uncle to satisfy his bratty nephew.

The second story is a clever variation of Little Red Riding Hood. Here Red Riding Hood is dubbed "Runninghood", and is, as the uncle graphically describes, a high school senior with firm breasts. The wolf is a werewolf, who attacks the girl's grandmother while our title heroine goes and has sex with her boyfriend (the woodsman). Even more interesting is if you know that the original Riding Hood fairy tale is largely a metaphor for a young woman's first sexual experience.

The third story is the best, offering the perfect combination of horror and dark humor. In Goldi Lox and the Three Baers, "Papa" Baer and his mentally-retarded son "Baby" Baer escape from an asylum (whose name I won't give away, but it immediately tells you that the segment is going to be funny) with "Mama" Baer's help and find that the murderous Goldi Lox, who has Carrie-like telekinetic powers, is living in their old house. The feuding Captains Jack B. Nimble and Jack B. Quick of the police department successfully bungle their effort to capture the group, and the four go on their merry way at the end. Several parts are funny in this one, particularly when Goldi Lox and Baby Baer have "sex". Some of the humor is subtle, too. I almost didn't catch the "plainclothes vehicles" part.

I quite enjoyed this one. Just one problem, though. You don't find out who won the Miss Nude pageant! 8/10.