Barb Wire

I have a weird obsession....to see every film on IMDB's infamous Bottom 100 List. "Barb Wire" is currently #44....and my 94th film on this list! However, after seeing it, I am not sure that it really deserves to be on the list. Sure, Pamela Anderson got the Razzie Award for her performance and it is a dopey film...but unlike most of the films on the list it was never intended to be a good movie. It simply was made as an excuse to dress (and undress) Anderson in very revealing clothes! It's not what anyone would consider a masterpiece, not was it ever intended as one....just a film to show as much of the lady as she was willing to show. And, in places (such as the opening credits) you see a lot.

"Barb Wire" is based on a comic book by Dark Horse, a company known for characters such as The Mask, Hellboy and comics like "Sin City". Again....none of these characters or films were ever intended to be carried by the Criterion Collection nor to be up for Academy Awards!

In this story, Anderson plays the title character, a combination stripper, hooker and assassin. And it's all set in a dystopian and dark world...of the USA in 2017! She strips, turns tricks and leaves bodies where ever she goes! She also, interestingly, sounds like she's doing a Steven Segal impersonation in the film...softly mumbling most of her lines. Bad enough for a Razzie? I wouldn't say so...but it's not like I'm in charge of giving out these infamous awards!

You can probably assume that I thought the film was pretty dumb....and you'd be right. But it's exactly what many folks wanted in 1996...a chance to see Anderson at least semi-naked. It delivers this....along with a dark, silly and not especially enjoyable story.

If you actually JUST want to see Ms. Anderson's body, skip to the special features on the disc and select 'SEXY OUTTAKES'....then you can skip the silly movie entirely and just see what most folks who watch the DVD really want anyway.



By the way, the opening song was "Word Up"....an extremely catchy R&B/hiphop song by Cameo. But, oddly, some other folks perform it...and it's not nearly as good as the original. I wonder why they didn't just pay for the rights to the original....I can't imagine it would have been THAT expensive.

Wow. Now this is not good. However, the movie sets its level right away, by having a stripping, dancing wet Barb (Anderson) already in the introduction of the movie. So, there you have what this movie is all about. Sure you get some violence, explosions and bad costumes as a bonus. Clearly, there is no relevant story in the movie, all revolves around (Barb) to show her off in different ways. The mentioned costumes are almost offending to the audience. Whoever responsible for them clearly did not work very hard. Barb competes with herself to wear some leather-thing that shows off as much as possible, but actually must be considered well dressed as compared to other ladies. The villains wear something that bear a striking resemblance to nazi-uniforms. Well sure, we know who's the bad guys, thank you. And some other people wear broken calculators and other piece of machinery that you'll find in a scrap-heap as hats, and are automatically dressed up like guys from the future. If it was this easy to make a good movie, I could have made it myself. Fortunately it is not, and Barb Wire is not a good movie.

But, and this is a mysterious but, I actually didn't get bored out of my mind and switched off. The movie actually, in some way, had some small piece of entertainment value throughout that made me stay. And that something, whatever it was, is what ultimately saves the movie from being complete junk.

So, if you have absolutely nothing else to do, you may want to watch this one, once. You may get some ideas how to (or not to) dress for the next masquerade.

3/10

"Barb Wire" was pretty transparently designed as a showcase for both Pamela Anderson's body (too "artificial" for my taste) and her newly-acquired martial arts skills (which, I must say, are quite remarkable). Other than that, it has nothing new to offer to the sci-fi/comic-book adventure genre, although it has a few (too few!) well-executed action sequences and a more professional look than thematically similar crap like "The Demolitionist". (**)

Although based in comic book series, the "Barb Wire" movie intends to be a remake o classical "Casablanca". It keeps the core elements of the 40's film, but adapts it to a distopic sci-fi action futuristic movie. Pamela Anderson plays Barb, a role similar to Bogart's Rick. The gender of the love affair from the past and of the third part of the love triangle have also been changed. The fictional town of Steel Harbor in the United States replaces Casablanca and the story is held during a futuristic Second Civil War rather than in the beginning of World War II. Both protagonists own a bar/nightclub, but Barb Wire is also a bounty huntress. As this remake is a sci-fi film, special contact lenses that cheat retinal scans substitute the letters of transit kept with Rick. As predictable, acting is worse in this remake, which has much more action. Off course "Casablanca" is much better, but surprisingly "Barb Wire" is not bad, in spite of the bad critics it has received.

Barb runs a bar and is also a mercenary out for herself in the civil war. However when her ex-boyfriend Axel comes to se her she takes a job helping a scientist get across the country to expose a government cover up. However will she remain a mercenary or will she pick sides?

When people are famous for being naked – that's pretty much what they should stay doing. Do we want porn actresses doing serious Hollywood roles? No – let them stick to what they know. I'm not calling Anderson a porno star but lets be honest, she famous for having great breasts right? So how can we harness this star power? Lets put her in tight clothes in a futuristic remake of Casablanca!

The plot is a sheer rip off and still manages to be poor. It is only an excuse for tight clothes and silly big explosions. As a dumb Saturday night special it still barely cuts it for me, although it is noisy, if that's all you want.....

Anderson isn't an actress – if it wasn't for a good publicity agent and a boob-job, she wouldn't even be offered the roles that Shannon Tweed gets! She doesn't convince as an actress as she can't get above the range required by Baywatch – look scared, look happy, look sad, look determined, oh and poke out your boobs! The rest of the cast have nothing to do and it's a shame to see reliable bit part players like Howard and Xander Berkley appearing in this.

Overall it has some pretty explosions but really this is like a Playboy video – it's all designed for the purpose of capitalising on Anderson's body.......why should we be surprised that it does nothing else.