Santa Claws

During the Christmas holidays, a B-movie scream queen/pinup model is stalked by an obsessed, murderously psychotic fan...

Blah blah blah. You know the score, sight unseen: women get naked, people die. Apparently the raison d'être for SANTA CLAWS was to plug the fan magazine writer/director John Russo was publishing at the time, "Scream Queen" — it gets a very prominent mention. In the film, the magazine staff is producing a low budget horror video called "Scream Queen Christmas" — try saying that three times fast! — starring B-movie celebrity Raven Quinn (Debbie Rochon). Her most ardent admirer, the disturbed young man (Grant Cramer) who lives next door, spraypaints a cheap Santa costume black and goes on a killing spree with a garden weasel. (Really. A frickin' garden weasel.) SANTA CLAWS touts its lineage to the original 1968 NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD as a selling point but you wouldn't know it from watching this cheap-looking, amateurish piece of crap. (Russo co-wrote NOTLD with George Romero and directed the minor cult fave MIDNIGHT; three members of the NOTLD cast have small roles in the flick.)

Rochon, whose films have never really proved worthy of her talent, is the only real reason to endure it. Not only is she beautiful, she acts circles around everyone else in the cast, who are just plain terrible. (Cramer's over-the-top rantings are good for a laugh or two, though.) Gore is practically nonexistent; only the frequent nudity, served up as Christmas-themed striptease acts for the video shoot, will appeal to exploitation junkies. Rochon doesn't whip out her love muffins until the final twenty minutes but she's almost worth the wait. For best effect, I recommend turning off the cheesy soundtrack and playing the naughty Yule classic "Santa Baby" while Debbie's doing her thing.

I recently watched Santa Claws (1996) on Tubi. The storyline revolves around a horror scream queen and soft porn star navigating a divorce while juggling the challenges of parenting and work. With support from her neighbor, who harbors a crush on her, she embarks on a new chapter, all the while hoping to mend things with her ex. As the plot unfolds, mysterious deaths occur both at home and work, adding an unexpected twist to the life of our scream queen.

The film, written and directed by John Russo (Midnight), features performances by Debbie Rochon (Slime City Massacre), John Mowod (FleshEater), Marilyn Eastman (Night of the Living Dead), and Karl Hardman (Night of the Living Dead).

Despite a promising premise, Santa Claws suffers from weak acting, subpar dialogue, poorly constructed sets, and a mediocre soundtrack. The film includes numerous sex scenes featuring women with "enhancements," adding a redeeming element. While the female cast are gorgeous, the kill scenes lack quality, though they offer occasional humor. Notably, the killer's interactions with a sex doll resembling the main character provide amusement and kept my attention.

In conclusion, Santa Claws is a flawed blend of slasher and soft porn genres that may appeal to those seeking such a combination. With bad acting and dialogue, along with inconsistent production quality, I would give it a 3/10. However, if you have specific expectations for a mix of slasher and soft porn, it might be worth your time.

What Blood Shack was to Ray Dennis Steckler, Santa Claws is to a collective best refered to as "the makers of Night of the Living Dead, whose names weren't George A Romero". Its insultingly bad as an actual movie, but exerts a morbid curiosity as a kind of pseudo-documentary on the lives of those involved. If you want to see Night of the Living Dead actors decades after their brush with fame, Santa Claws trots out Marilyn Eastman, Karl Hardman, Bill Hinzman and John Russo, in scenes that look like they were shot in their own Pittsburgh homes and places of work. The younger cast is represented by lots of wannabe scream queens, and John Mowod, the male lead from Hinzman's Flesh Eater/Zombie Nosh. Mowod is chiefly memorable for his resemblance to both Paul McCartney and Sylvester Stallone, and should have probably sought out a career as a celebrity impersonator rather than an actor. Its all basically an excuse to publicize 'Scream Queens Illustrated' Russo's horror themed T&A mag that promoted the boobs, bums and careers of various Scream Queen actresses of the time. Santa Claws is mainly set at the Scream Queens Illustrated offices, where you get to see Hinzman and Hardman at their day jobs, shooting jerk off material for the magazine. Natch' the setting also allows for lingering shots of various Scream Queens Illustrated and Night of the Living Dead merchandise.

Occasionally Santa Claws remembers it is meant to be a horror film, and begrudgingly tears itself away from the T&A and self-promotion, in favour of focusing on a lackluster killer dressed in a Santa outfit who murders various secondary characters at the Scream Queens offices with a gardening fork. Barely anyone appears concerned by how sleazy and third rate they are portraying themselves as. The only possible exception being Scream Queen Debbie Rochon, whose role has the feel of a good publicity exercise. Not only is Rochon's character, Raven Quinn, portrayed as a scream queen with a heart of gold, but she is also a single mother whose life is being made a misery by her scumbag ex-husband (played by the Macca/Rambo lookalike) yet always makes herself available to even the most 'needy' of her fans. A credibility straining aspect to the film that also provides its biggest laugh. If you thought the Caroline Munro/Joe Spinell romance in Maniac was a little hard to swallow, here Rochon's character not only lets an unkempt, obviously obsessed, anti-social weirdo into her private life, but lets him babysit her kids as well !!!

John Russo nearly hits rock bottom with this disastrous cheapie misleadingly promoted as another killer-dressed-as-Santa-Claus-movie.

Raven Quinn (Debbie Rochon) not only has to deal with a cheating husband (John Mowod) but also with trouble from women's groups and her in-laws when she accepts the lead role in the racy movie "A Scream Queen Christmas." If things couldn't get any worse, Raven also becomes the target of an obsessed psycho, her next-door neighbor Wayne (Grant Kramer), who has a shrine to her in his home, drugs her kids, messes around with a mannequin and kills cast and crew participating in the movie with a three-pronged garden claw.

There's virtually no gore or violence, but there are long scenes of young women with large silicone knockers stripping out of glittery costumes to pad out the running time. Debbie Rochon is easily the best this film has to offer in terms of good-looking babes and the only one of the bunch I found to be really attractive. (She's also pretty fun to watch with her clothes on, as well). It's also fun spotting Marilyn Eastman, Karl Hardman, Bill Hinzman and John Russo (all of whom appeared in the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD) in small roles here. Otherwise this is a complete waste of time.

Russo also made the T & A tie-in tape SCREAM QUEEN NAKED CHRISTMAS featuring Kramer, Rochon, Christine Cavalier (from W.A.V.E. Productions) and others from this movie reprising their roles (and removing their clothes).

Score: 3 out of 10 (thanks mainly to Debbie)

I watched this film and found it to be somewhat ok, and even better than some big budget multimillion dollar films.

YES, it does have problems, many...infact.

The modelling scenes were just boring annd bland, even for T&A gratuity shots and served no purpose.

Wayne's character was poorly created and developed, but somewhat funny.

Love Rayven...maybe it's the name...but over all, for a movie that was filmed with less than the cost of a new minivan, this is an ok film, *considering it was free to watch...I certainly wouldn't have paid for this.