Sorority House Vampires

I got this movie as part of a 10 movie, $15 set called "Curse of the Dead". A company puts out these 10 and 20 packs of horror movies on DVD, and as a sucker for cheesy horror movies, I keep buying them. Most are actually Italian ones from the 70s (and some are okay), but there is an assortment of other movies. Like this.

It starts off with an attractive topless asian woman dancing for about 10 minutes, while the credits roll. From there, it gets much worse, and much less coherent.

Basically, there's this skanky vampire lady, and she turns all these other people, who don't really appear to be college students or even in their 20s (mid 30s, looks like) into some sort of zombie creatures. Then the zombie creatures attack the remaining few non-zombies. But there's no special effects or makeup or blood. It's almost like a LARP. Only dorkier.

When I was a kid, I made Godzilla movies using a toy godzilla, army men, and fireworks. That had higher production values and video quality than this movie. And better acting. (Less nudity, though).

I mean, it's really awful. It's not even amateurish.

Buy this film. When Mystery Science Theatre 3000 comes calling and you hold the unedited 3-D rerelease version, you'll thank me.

The fantastic special effects (i.e. the 'Vampire Meter'), the breaks into broadway quality dance numbers, and the heaving breasts are gravy. Add this crapography to your Video/DVD collection TODAY.

I recommend you watch it in full theater surround, with your center channel adjusted -5dB, and the treble in the rear surrounds down just a bit. This will truely maximize the audio experience.

Kudos to Raymond "Midas Touch" Honeycutt for completing another golden project.

The audio quality is so bad on this "movie" that you can hear only half the dialog. The other half is so awkward and awkwardly delivered that unless you were personally involved in the production, you would never be able to extract the plot summary from watching it. Video tape that converts girls to vampires? Evil vampire leader? Women enslaved as mutant breeders? Sounds great! That was *this* movie?!

Sorority House Vampires has all the coherence, production value, and acting prowess of an 80s porn tape. If you're interested in that level of quality in non-pornographic entertainment as well, you may well enjoy this movie. But I'm a fan of B horror movies and any movie that shows boobs, and I couldn't even ride this one through the finish line.

Okay, I understand this movie is not for everyone and I certainly wouldn't suggest that some of these one-star reviews are unnecessarily harsh and disingenuous. What I can say with absolute certainty is that this mid-nineties shot-on-video epic is definitely for me and I sincerely love it. Like, I literally watch it all the time.

Plot-wise, it's basically sorority pledges versus a vampire queen and her undead minions. In terms of actual content, it's a goofy horror-comedy with a ton of jokes and funny sequences. If you can't enjoy an "Everyone Attack Now" music video, surfer-dude subtitles, and zombie fashion shows, then why even watch a movie called Sorority House Vampires From Hell?

Yes, sometimes the audio is a little low and other elements might be a bit rough around the edges-but by SOV standards it's still way above average overall. Plus, every B-horror quota is met while passing the Bechdel test many times over. It's a gyno-centric (to borrow some Troma vocabulary) horror parody that is (I think) consistently entertaining throughout.

Those looking for high-brow cinema should definitely keep moving, but SOV junkies need to check this out! It's available in several multipacks, all of which can be found for cheap. No excuses!

This movie is so bad that it would stand with the likes of "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and other schlock epics. If you like good movies, then stay away from this one. But if you like your movies extra cheesy with a high count of boobies, then this is the one. Highly recommended!