The Coroner

...this is it! This is the worst film I've ever seen. So I HAVE to show it to everyone else which means I've sat through this terribly awful and mind-numbingly stupid goreless 90's piece of waste sleaze flick! Forget "Plan 9", - this is it! Everything is awful - the acting, the dialouge, the plot (what plot?), you name it! But in a weird way it's almost like a surreal comedy (why would a demented and woman-hating coroner who looks like a balding car salesman wear silly aprons?) This is just one of the (stupid, stupid) questions left in your mind after THE CORONER clocks in at about 70 minutes. But hey, you only live once and it's a short one - so go on - see for your selves!

If you enjoy:

Aprons Blowdart Stapler torture A severed finger (or is it just momentarily gone?) No plot whatsoever (with crappy sex scenes included) A very "funny" un-villain looking villain

Then perhaps this sleazy gore-less "film" is something you'd like. I didn't. And I never will.

1 out of 10!

Okay, as pointed out by the other writer, there are ALOT of flaws with this movie. There are ALOT of flaws in MANY movies, and I could spend the length of a book on just the ones that I know of. That point passed, this movie, serious or not, does make a serious statement: The rich and famous, even locally, can be given special treatment, and even overlooked or dismissed as suspect of a crime. Note the infamous Ramsey case which has been botched from the beginning, and instead of being the prime suspects, the heads of the house were not really investigated until the trail to the killer was dead cold. This movie gives you a look at this. A respected female lawyer, who was a victim of the Coroner/Serial Attacker, brings the police to his doorstep. Because they know him, they treat him like an old buddy, not a suspect, and try to get her out of the house rather than listen to her. They do not obtain a search warrant, they don't question his answers, in short, because of his status with the Coroner's Office, they immediately look the other way. Yes, it does have its flaws, but it does makes its statements. There plenty of movies that offer less, and even more that offer more. A viewable movie if you're in the mood to be angered over "special treatment", or laugh at a less than perfect flick. Have a couple of beers and enjoy.

Absurdity at it's finest form - where else could you see a bald-headed middle-aged horizontally challenged man debuting in a lead role and even get to see his naked butt? Fans of B-movies and people who receive pleasure in pain: pay heed to this movie or regret the rest of your life.

Personally I have a tad of twisted tendencies towards the latter one of the aforementioned - mental sadomasochism - and probably not very surprisingly does my DVD shelf consist of not only bad movies but also movies that are hauntingly awful in the vain of The Coroner. Yes, there is a thin line between a bad movie and a movie that is bad in a good manner. No, The Coroner isn't a good-bad, it's plain bad, and no, I haven't been on drugs while handing over my credit card to the video store clerk when buying this film - consider this flaw of mine as an extremely entertaining fixation.

Like said, one should never underestimate the mindlessness of nonexistent requirements for a film to be released and actually distributed throughout the world. I think a plot around a chief coroner illusioning himself as the right hand of God mutilating women who have attempted suicide yet survived, cynical policemen who almost laugh at crime victims' face and a couple of lawyers trying to track down a mass murderer makes out a very decent mixture that is - quite unfortunately - mostly digestible only to a very small audience.

Nevertheless, I can't imagine anyone not liking this movie. People who don't worship bad movies just simply leave this kind of flicks in the cut-out bin for a loving family to pick them up, simple as that. Surely no sane person could possibly think that The Coroner would actually possess any potential for a horror/thriller movie to be taken seriously, for even the cover is so grotesque that it would freak the living crap out of no less than the Beast of Yucca Flats himself.

I really wonder how they managed to get this one on DVD with all the random gratuitous breast shots in the opening scene, intro credits with a musical piece that would make Danny Elfman turn in his, well, armchair etc., but I'm glad they did, because the infamous blowdart scene is truly one of the most confusing moments I've ever seen on screen and the VCR couldn't auto-repeat these disturbingly amusing seconds. I was with my buddies when I first saw this film and I imagine we all stared like retards jaws open wide with a wonderful "What in the world?" look on our faces, and having read another review of the movie afterwards I think that's exactly what will happen to anyone who dares to see The Coroner without proper preparation (though in that case the glamour would have been already taken away from you and the whole film would seem like a mindless and dull low budget production).

Enough of the blabbering, go see it yourself if you're stupid (or drunk) enough. All in all rather entertaining experience, but not to be viewed alone: make sure you can share the tears of laughter caused by the unintended comicality.

This has got to be the worst film of the new millenium, demonstrating loads of miserable acting, spontaneous boob- and sexshots with no meaning whatsoever and a script treat so bad it almost hurts. Best thing about the movie: It's not very long...