Just when you thought you'd picked up a classy porn ... yeah right. Jenna Jameson really doesn't stoop to any sort of low by performing -- not acting -- in this movie. But the pervasive Archie theme proves to be rather annoying. Jughead simply becomes "Jugs." But the Archie theme isn't carried much further than the naming of the characters. Picking up the cover-box to the movie seems to be quite enticing. But there are no bobby socks, no cute skirts, just Jenna in some retro-80s outfit, though she's supposed to be living in the 1950s. It's just porn though. You can't expect too much.

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Uninspired

One of Fred Lincoln's lesser efforts, this Archie Comics porn parody plays flat as a pancake, despite bringing two superstars to the screen.

Kylie Ireland even gets an "Introducing" credit, portraying "Serena the Teenage Witch" two years before the comic book (Sabrina) was adapted for a hit TV series. Betty and Veronica are played by Jenna Jameson and Eva Flowers, latter a less than scintillating porn performer.

Actually stealing the movie is Kim Chambers as Archie's girlfriend Mildred, whose huge breasts fill the screen, and she even delivers anal sex with Nick East. Jenna's tits have not been enlarged yet, this early in her career.

Though the name of the game is nostalgia, the show is flat and has no period character, even in poorly inserted flashback sex scenes. The central conceit of Betty and Veronica's friendly competition to win Archie's heart is insipid.

While porn parodies (mostly in name only) were common in the VHS era, had this one been made a few years later as a DVD it probably would have earned a big-deal script and solid budget to win over audiences attuned to the original comic book material. As a no-effort quickie it fails utterly to capitalize on what would be the superstar power of Jenna and Kylie.