Beauty & the Beach

Not known for his directing, Derek Lane made this unsuccessful attempt to create a porn video with a resemblance to "mainstream" drive-in movies. I blame "porno logic" for its failure.

Simply put, porno logic means writing and directing scenes that simply lead to sex, defying any plausible psychology or believable behavior by the characters. This ruins the movie's set-up: beautiful blonde Rayne in her bikini is romping on the beach with her cute pet dog, when she's harassed by a pair of bikers (Micky Ray and Buster Cheri). They nearly physically assault her when she goes to her car, but just to check her out. When she sees them in her rear view mirror tracking her as she drives home, instead of becoming frightened she gets turned on and masturbates behind the wheel, then has sex with them by the side of the road. Excuse me for NOT suspending my disbelief.

It turns out that the sex with bikers was merely an erotic vision by Rayne. She had met a psychic (Raquel Darrian) on the beach and this spurred these premonitions. She tells her friend Holly White about them, and then Holly starts having similar disturbing visions, all the while having sex with Rayne and then with biker Micky Ray from one of her visions.

Plot thickens when a flashback of Holly's boyfriend, played by director Derrick Lane, has outdoor sex with Kelly Trump. None of this is making any sense, but is further complicated by the reappearance of the psychic on the beach, who warns Rayne that it's unknown what will happen next -The End.

It's a very disappointing hodge-podge of scenes, which make no sense and are linked together in the flimsiest way. Lane's ideas are rather stupid, such as a shot of his own corpse floating on the surface of the pool, with Rayne's cute dog's orange ball in his mouth.