Satan's Black Wedding

Nick Millard's previous film, Criminally Insane, about a fat lady killing anyone who gets between her and her food, was a no-budget classic but this one misses the mark. The atmosphere is creepy enough and there's fang-baring and bloodletting but the film ultimately fails to deliver the hellacious conclusion it hints at. Lead Greg Braddock is so wooden he could be replaced by a bookcase. The scenes where he talks are stultifyingly boring. Ray Myles on the other hand brings a malevolent energy to his role as an undead priest and the film noticeably improves whenever he's on screen. Fans of Andy Milligan might dig the general depravity here but I found it a pretty hard slog.

"Satan's Black Wedding" doesn't quite have that irresistible "what the hell am I watching?"-factor that Nick Millard's much more famous effort "Criminally Insane" had but hell, if Millard can't put a smile on my face anymore you can honestly pull the plug on me. Just check out his unique editing style, the guy can't splice in a shot realistically to save his life but that's why we love him. Who cares if two actors talking to "each other" don't even appear to be in the same ZIP code, it's all just part of the charm. Especially if one of those actors is the otherwise completely unknown Ray Myles, who gives a genuinely excellent performance as some sort of half-vampire, half-satanist (have your cake and eat it too). Lead Greg Braddock is somewhat less impressive, but his amazing underacting is a spectacle in its own right. He walks into a room covered with blood with a look on his face like he just found out the supermarket is all out of his favorite shampoo. My sister died a gruesome death, I am...mildly irritated? Nick Millard is a huge cinephile though, and occasionally this almost shows here. Some shots in this movie are actually quite stylish, there's some "Nosferatu" influence in there but it's tough to be classy if your vampires have plastic fangs. But still, I was sorta into this from time to time. The cinematography looks good, the music is repetitive but creepy nonetheless, this really is quite above Millard's standards. It's not quite as entertaining as some of his other work, but it's almost what you call accessible. If only it had an actual ending instead of just stopping at a random moment, that would have helped it even more.

Satan's Black Wedding (1975)

** (out of 4)

Mildly entertaining film has a brother investigating his sister's suicide. He eventually tracks down the killers to a church, which is being used by vampires for Satanic rituals. This is a very cheaply made film running just over an hour and while there's nothing too original going on here it does remain interesting throughout. If you don't expect The Exorcist or Rosemary's Baby then you should get a few minor grins out of this film. There's some nice, if cheaply done, gore scenes to keep things moving. Outside of that we get some really hammy performances, which lead to a couple laughs.

I had never heard about the 1976 horror movie "Satan's Black Wedding" from writer and director Nick Millard, but given my fascination with horror cinema, of course I opted to sit down and watch the movie, as I happened to stumble upon the movie by random luck here in 2024. I virtually had no idea what I was in for here, but I didn't really harbor much of any grand expectations to the movie given its age and the fact that I had never heard about it.

The storyline was a rather scrambled mess, as it was lacking an overall red thread to lead the audience through the movie. It felt like director Nick Millard had shot many different scenes independent of one another and sat down to edit it into a cohesive movie. The end result wasn't particularly thrilling.

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. Nor were I particularly impressed with what I witnessed, as most of the performances were so wooden and rigid that it looked like a first take for a read for an audition. Some of the performers were seriously lacking talents to deliver a convincing dialogue, and the movie suffered terribly from that.

The blood effects in "Satan's Black Wedding" are insanely poor and laughable, it is brightly colored orange paint and doesn't even remotely resemble blood. And then there were the God awful teeth that the vampire creatures had, they looked like the kind of toy dentures that I had as a child in the early 1980s; it was pretty bad.

The editing in the movie definitely also leaves much to be wished for. The editing was pretty brutal and abrupt, with many scenes just ending by a rough cut and then straight into the next scene. And the music in the movie was equally poorly edited and cut in scenes.

My rating of "Satan's Black Wedding" lands on a very generous two out of ten stars.

This is an obscure little low-budget exploitation flick from the mid-70's. Just how obscure are we talking? Well, this review will be number six here at IMDb. Only three actors are being credited for this movie, if the cast list is any indication. This flick is so unheard of that nobody involved with it even bothered to track down the five or six other actors that appear in this movie. That's saying quite a lot, really. I personally acquired this on a triple-movie DVD set along with two other Nick Millard movies, CRIMINALLY INSANE and its sequel. I have no idea what the other options are in terms of availability for SATAN'S BLACK WEDDING.

This movie was released during a time when horror often dealt with Satanism and the rise of the devil himself. It very much rides the coattails of popularity from similarly-themed movies such as ROSEMARY'S BABY and THE EXORCIST and even lesser-known titles from the drive-in movie circuit. SATAN'S BLACK WEDDING was definitely a bandwagon-jumper, and not an especially good one, at that.

First, the good things about this movie: as other reviews have mentioned, the atmosphere is very dark and spooky, in a way unseen in later horror films. The opening shots of a Goya painting, coupled with creepy, off-kilter piano music, certainly set the stage for a genuinely disturbing movie. The score for this movie was very well placed, as were many of the sets and locations.

On the other hand, this is a very cheap movie, and finding professional actors must have been rather tricky. Many of the actors, most of whom are not listed on IMDb, were pretty wooden. The special effects aren't much to write home about, either. The bright red "70's blood," as I call it, is to be expected, but the vampire teeth used for the undead Satanists looked as though they were purchased out of one of those 25-cent vending machines seen in the opening walkways at your local department stores--the kind you might have used as a child while completing a Dracula costume for Halloween. It's hard to be scared of creatures with those plastic monstrosities sticking out of their mouths.

The plot is pretty basic. Mark, a young actor and Elvis Presley lookalike, arrives in town to investigate the mysterious death of his sister. As he continues searching, he finds that she was involved in a bizarre underground cult of devil-worshippers who, through some sort of dark rites, are able to reanimate the dead as some sort of Satanic vampire things that bite necks and suck the blood from the living.

This is a fun movie for those who enjoy cheap horror flicks that virtually nobody has ever heard of. I can honestly recommend this for that crowd. For those who prefer a higher-budget flick or something that had a little more talent behind it, I'd suggest steering clear of this one.