Virtual Girl

OK, I really haven't sat through many soft-core flicks because they are just terribly boring.

But there are three good reasons to remember this film. Two of them are on sex kitten Charlie Curtis. And, the third is that this is the funniest, campiest script I have hear in a long time.

The lines -- whether deliberately written as a parody or not -- are just devastatingly funny. For example: "if you're not happy all the time with your wife, I can take up the slack."

or,

Programmer: "You're asking me to work on a cyber-sex toy for chronic masturbators!"

Boss: "They're our client base."

It's just a totally outrageous, deadpan acted, mindless, cheesy looking story. It's sort of a soft-core TRON, with poor sap Max Dixon (yep, now there's a stud stage name for ya) wresting to save his virtue in cyberspace.

Curtis plays the role of a virtual-reality sex doll to the hilt, and gives a whole new nuance to "hard drive" and "interface." In one arresting scene she morphs into various ladies who all manage to have the same bra cup size for the sake of, er, film continuity.

If you want to do your own home-grown R-rated version of "Mystery Science Theater" this is the flick to watch.

90s erotic sci fi thriller that has a decent amount of fake 90s hooters on display, and an even more amount of crappy 90s CGI. Other than a blink and you'll miss it scene where a guy's head CG explodes, there's nothing much here and it's also really really dumb.

Yes, this had me expecting a lot, but alas, it didnt deliver a lot.

The girl(s) are great, especially the computerised method of changing from one girl into another seamlessly - phew !,really great - but apart from this aspect, the film really was lacking. It is a reasonable story, though a few along similar lines are around now without the nudity.

Excellent photography, as usual, with the girls.

Almost like a horny female version of Pinocchio, the main (virtual) character of this movie, also wants to be a real girl. I am not familiar with all Pinocchio material, so there may be some fan fiction or something that goes in a similar direction. But let's move away from that and concentrate on the movie at hand.

The movie and the characters are self aware. The main character especially has to be convinced to get it on with the titular Virtual Girl (no pun intended). Of course it is all only on the surface. Do not expect there to be too many obstacles. There is a fair amount of nudity, though I doubt you will get what you look for - if that is what you are looking for. You decide - if you are a bit of a prude - you best get off ... the page that is (sorry for the pun, but I am curious how you even got here).

Anyway there is something almost cute about the whole thing -and sinister too. It may have a surprise for you too. Especially when it comes to the ending ... (no happy ending jokes ... not from me at least, feel free to add some of your own)

Ya know, when it comes to cheap soft porn flicks, this one isn't half bad. It had a plot! (GASP!) Actually, the movie isn't half bad in respect to the storyline. As for the acting, one could ask for a lot better performances from the unknowns that make up the cast. Just to comment on the main character, Virtuality, I think her name is, the actress who plays her is very beautiful, and if I wasn't a monk, I would marry her. Ok, well, I'm not a monk, but I still won't marry her. Anyhow...I wouldn't recommend setting your alarm so you can wake up at 3:00 A.M. to see this movie, but if you catch it on, you might get into the story...maybe I'm crazy...who knows.