Feeders

Ohh, Feeders.

I've posted some other comments here, but for some reason (though I've referenced this film in them) I haven't come back to this little beauty.

Feeders.

It must have been 96 or so, because dates escape me in my age (and from all the gasoline-milk mixtures I've had over that time), and my sister and I saw this . . . apocryphal miracle in the new releases section of a more-than-common video rental chain. How could we not have rented it?

Feeders. How I miss thee.

It's been a while since I've seen this, so bear with me. Lemme see. Some Commodore 64 special effects, hastily scribbled onto the film strip, signal that aliens have arrived . . . with the noble intention of brutally eating everyone they come across . . . or to burst out of their bellies . .. or to use 'lasers' to raze the whole planet . . . or to impersonate one of the heroic characters . . . any one, or all of these may be their master plan. Since obviously a higher power spurred the creation of this film, who am I to question the intricacies of the plot, me a simple heathen?

My absolute favorite scene is the one with the fat truck driver (well, he might not drive a truck, but I do recall him being obese). This man gets mauled by a 'feeder', and is rescued by the 'heroes', who rush him to a 'doctor', where he 'dies'. I say 'dies' because, as the doctor ceremonially intones 'I'm sorry, this man is dead', and reverently pulls a sheet over his body, THE MAN IS STILL OBVIOUSLY BREATHING -- QUITE DEEPLY! YOU CAN SEE THE SHEET MOVE, PEOPLE!!! Oh, but maybe that's a signal that the alien inside of him is about to burst out, via the magic of uber-superimposed (uberimposed?) post-production editing. The wound, literally, does not overlay the body. It is uberimposed.

Feeders . . . the one. The only.

Two other points -- one being the blowtorching of a 'feeder', which must have been the final scene, seeing as though the feeder puppet is totally ruined, which must have made the special-effects whiz who made it cry like a baby for hours and hours, what, not being told ahead of time that his hand-crafted buddy would be cauterized in such a horrible manner. And the straight-out-of 'Night of the Living Dead' scene with the corpse at the top of the stairs . . . and I mean that as in 'This Scene was directly sheared from the reel of Night of The Living Dead and messily inserted into Feeders', straight-out-of Night of the Living Dead . . .

Feeders . . . where for art thou on DVD? For I would own thee, verily, in a fortnight.

I heard there's a sequel. Taking place during Christmas. But I'll be a Warlord of the Deep if I can't find it here. Or something.

In summary, I would like to say that this movie is apocalyptical; to be collegiate (if at all), I use that term in it's original Greek sense, meaning, rending of the veil. If you see this film, firstly consider yourself lucky. That also means you might have seen other beauties, such as Parts: The Clonus Horror, or Judgment Night, or Rana: The Secret of Shadow Lake, or some other, horrible poison that I haven't sampled yet. And two, realize that, having seen it, you can never go back to how it was before. Now your veil has been torn asunder, and the guttural truth of life pours through . . . Feeders will ruin you, like it did me, with the fact that there are movies like this, being made by people, for some reason or another, and that the only solace comes from either seeing more or drinking the ever popular milkoline.

Feeders. God how I miss you.

I first discovered this truly amazing movie when my friend, Geraldo, came to me crying like a baby, but yet pausing between sobs to spit out, "This movie, it's, a gift from the heavens." But not till now, as I sit on the toilet, wondering what the jiminy craps it was that I just ate, did I understand just how deep Feeders touched me. From the tense, yet emotional opening scene involving character actor Gary LeBlanc's brilliant portrayal of the hopeless romantic Ranger Gordon, to the nail biting finale involving Broadway veteran Mark Polonia (who just recently wrapped up starring in the national tour of CATS as Rum Tum Tugger) and the amazing Jon McBride, the 1987 Acadamy Award winner for Best Actor as Locker Room Guy #24 in "The Running Man". This movie also has a strong supporting cast, like Grant McDoogle as Skip, the lovable, but aggressive swim coach who just can't seem to get past the fact that he hates the water or Pepe Johnson as Alien #12, who strangely resembled Rocky Alexander as Alien #42, but who cares, this movie was spectacular. A must see for all fans of such movies as "CRAP", "CRAP II: THE CRAPPIER", and "COMPLETE WASTE OF FILM". Don't miss this historical cinematic treasure, this film that will one day be called an epic, this film that us mere mortals know as "FEEDERS".

Ed Wood wrote a script over the top and cheesy-Feeders script is downright bare-bones stinky and laughable. Ed Wood took at least a few actors with some ability and ended up with a bunch of Michael Kaines compared to this film! I work at a video store and this is the only film in the 4 years I've worked there where someone came in upset saying they wanted their money back---To quote the gentleman "This is the worst piece of **** I have ever seen" Because of that, I checked it out-and have done so numerous times to show to friends and watch the disbelief on their faces.

This has to be, hands down, the cheapest movie I have ever seen. They couldn't have spent $50 on this turkey. The computer effects look like an Atari 2600 game and the alien creatures look like sock puppets. I found it amusing that the puppet-aliens were always eating people even though they did not appear to have mouths. Fans of really bad movies will probably enjoy this, as I sort of did, but everyone else is advised to stay far away.

What do you get when you combine the acting/directing/scriptwriting of John Polonia and John McBride, along with the stunning visual effects of Phillip Ogden?

A steaming fen of cinematic s**t, that both amuses and enriches all movie watching after seeing this movie. I've rented this movie 8 times, and I have had all of my friends watch it, as well as my mother and uncle. It seriously is probably the funniest movie I've ever seen. You can't beat special effects that consist of someone drawing stuff on the film with a crayon...

And to all you guys who watch this movie...I have a few funny things you should watch for. Watch John Polonia's socks throughout the movie, especially during the scenes in which they run through the forrest. Watch closely the scene when John McBride gets out of the car to run into the doctors office. Watch closely the scene when they listen to the radio report in the car. Notice the pictures that John McBride takes at the flood site, and pay attention to what he says and than does in the next scene.

This movie is simply fraught with mistakes and bad effects...Just go rent it, you won't stop laughing.