Hardgore

I've got to be honest; I'm not really sure of what to make of Hardgore. Don't get me wrong; I love sleazy porn movies, but this one has possibly the thinnest plot of all the sleazy porn flicks I've seen (not to mention the fact that it's pretty much ignored all the way through), and there also seems to be an unhealthy obsession with dildo's going on. Given the title, I was expecting the film to be a hardcore gore flick, and while there is some blood and nasty scenes (the worst being a castration sequence) on display, this movie is a lot more about sex than splatter. Hardgore is a completely inept film from start to finish, as the production values are poor in the extreme and it would seem that nobody involved had any comprehension of what film-making is about. But even so, you can't expect greatness from a tacky porn flick, and the low production values bode well with the ridiculous plotting. The IMDb page for the film pretty much sums it up; there's no director listed (not hard to believe), and three of six acting credits are given the names 'The Nymphomaniac', 'Orgy-having Satanist' and, probably best of all, 'Girl Impaled by Dildo'! The sex scenes can be erotic, although some of them go on for far too long (a ten minute sex sequence being the major case in point), while others put too much focus on plastic implements to be erotic for my liking. There's plenty of lesbian sex, however, which is never a bad thing, and overall the film is a fun way to blow an hour of your life and features plenty of memorable filthy set-pieces.

So you can't make up your sleazy little mind which you should watch, a XXX perverted sex flick or Cheesy Blood Drenched Gore Feast. Well here it is, the solution. This flick has lots sex action mixed with gore decapitations, bloody throat cuttings and even a penis amputation (ouch!!!!). The plot (and of course I use that term loosely)revolves around this Nymphomaniac/Masochist woman who is committed to an asylum. Said asylum, of course, has a new lesbian nurse every night, who ends up slaughtered and is run by a coven of demonic Satanists.

And what might you ask, does this movie have that no other does?? Why a haunted severed talking penis, of course!!!!

According to IMDb, as well as to every other website that holds a review; this "thing" doesn't have a director. Well, that would surely explain a lot! Just a bunch of people that gathered together to shoot some perverted porn sequences and throw in an ultra-thin storyline about devil-worshiping and women sacrifices inside the walls of a secluded sanitarium. "Hardgore" is a prime example of totally demented 70's smut, as it's really made with a minimum of production values and scripting inspiration. Horror movies about satanic cults were hugely popular during the early 70's and pornography as well, so why not combine the two? Here we have a simplistic story about a young nymphomaniac girl who's committed to a mental asylum, and from the first night already, she's drawn into a network of drugs, psychedelic orgies, rape, torture and dildo-action. Really, a LOT of dildo-action. The friendly lesbian nurse tries to warn her, but she has her throat slit even the same night. The horror aspects are truly poorly elaborated, going from laughably un-scary Satan masks to virulent severed penises attacks. The photography and acting performances are almost intolerably amateurish, but what do you expect from a film that features footage of sperm-firing dildos and talking amputated male reproduction organs? Leading lady Justina Lynn is a rather good looking girl with a ravishing body, but most of her co-stars (male & female) are hideous and excessively haired sleaze balls.

"Hardgore"/"Horror Whore" is one of the most bizarre horror/porn movies I have ever seen.It has some well filmed porn sequences with a bit of necrophilia thrown in,pretty good gore effects(throat cuttings,castration etc.)a nice sound track and some interesting visuals(a talking severed penis,floating dildo rocket ships etc.)Director of "Hardgore" is clearly having fun with the subject matter,piling on tons of hard core sex,sleazy exploitation and outrageously gross set pieces in order to repulse the viewer.All in all I really enjoyed this one,so if you've got the chance to get this gem,don't hesitate to take it.

HARDGORE is a fun, smutty, sleazy "romp" that aspires to be unequal parts XXX porn film and gory, campy horror film. The film itself is completely inept in every way, including but not limited to, the acting, editing, sound, "plot", music, etc...but there's enough big hairy 70's bushes and a few gore scenes to keep your interest and actually make this one enjoyable:

Lucy is the newest nympho/masochist patient at a sanitarium that just so happens to double as the lair of a bunch of Satanic cult worshiping doctors. The fun starts pretty early on as Lucy is "treated" by the nurses in various "interesting" fashions, including some good old fashion lesbionic action (where when the girls go at it in the "scissor" position, I thought for sure that the friction from their bushes was gonna cause them to go up in flames!!!) , electric dildo probing (that goes hilariously awry...), and some "probing" by the staff doctors themselves. When Lucy goes to bed, she has "dreams" of Satanic sex orgies involving people in ridiculous costumes while the cult-leader drones on in some unintelligible language. At one point one of the male cult members gets his junk cut off with a a pair of hedge clippers!!! Lucy eventually realizes that this isn't a dream and is determined to escape from the Sanitarium of Satan...

HARDGORE is honestly one of the most ridiculous, retarded, technically flawed films I've ever seen...and that's why it was so great. This film is so poorly made that it looks as though it was done on purpose. There are scenes where you can see the boom mic in the shot, the editing is absolutely infantile, and the whole film feels as though everyone involved was on massive amounts of drugs and decided that filming a porn/horror film would be a fun way to "blow" a weekend - not to mention the completely abrupt ending. Regardless, I had a good time with HARDGORE - not quite gory enough for my taste, and the XXX scenes can get kind of drawn out and boring (unless you have a fetish for chicks with huge puss-fro's, in which case you'll be in heaven...) but I love this sleazy, smutty sh!t, so anyone with similar tastes should definitely check this out. Some truly classic scenes including a bunch of flying rocket dildos that unload like 4 gallons of spunk on our hapless victim...Plus, one of the nurses is named Nurse Doucheinfar...Any film that has a character with "douche" in their name automatically gets extra points in my book. Worth checking out - 9/10 P.S. My copy of HARDGORE also includes a short "roughie" entitled NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS. This is just a simulated rape/torture short film with no dialog that is set to some pretty funky music. This short features a few of the leads from HARDGORE, and doesn't really have much going for it, but I figured it was worth a mention...