Crackerjack 3

God was i bored throughout the hour and thirty minutes that was this video product. A sequel to Crackerjack 2 & 1. haven't seen them yet but i've watch reviews on youtube and this has NOTHING to do with those movies. beyond that it's pretty boring in general. don't bother.

I'd like to start by saying, I LOVE B-movies....seriously...I am a big fan of Lundgren,Van Damme,Norris,Snipes,Seagal and the rest & even find a lot of undemanding cerebral pleasure from Sci-Fi Channel Originals. But this is so unwatchable I've never watched it to the end, I always end up switching off at the Garden gnome in the factory scene, Because I Just think to myself...what I doing watching this garbage...

I think judging by the soundtrack (of what I've seen) this is meant to be very tongue in cheek...what with the jaunty Country Music during the fishing scene and whatnot....but this is just terrible, the actors are sleepwalking, The Director couldn't care less and the production budget while not THAT low is used badly...very badly..

Soooo many people on IMDb refer to various Movies being worse than ED Wood's, I very much doubt many of them have actually seen his Films, they just use his name as a reference.... Well I have seen some of his movies... and can tell you that this is far worse!!! at least Wood's films were Watchable in a so bad it's good way, This stuff just rapes your Brain and makes you thicker every time you watch it.... after 4 attempts now of trying and failing to making it past the mentioned scene, the DVD is now in the Trash Can.

I can't believe my eyes when I See More people have given this unwatchable garbage a rating of 10 than anything else......My god!!! people actually rate this - up there with Casablanca....Well you guys should surely be dragged away from your houses from guys in white coats anytime now.

No stars out of *****

(If I see another film that's worse, I'd be very Surprised)

When I stumbled across a home video release of Crackerjack 3, I bought it for a couple of reasons. First, I thought it was a "sequel" to a 1994 movie called Crackerjack, with Thomas Ian Griffith as a cop and Christopher Plummer as a neo-Nazi, clashing at a mountain resort over a complicated plan to steal millions in mob diamonds and to cover it up. That movie had lame writing and acting, but still managed to be a fairly entertaining low-budget knockoff of movies in the Die Hard mold. Second, I bought the movie because of Bo Svenson, who I had liked years earlier in "Walking Tall."

As Crackerjack 3 played, I could barely believe my eyes. The supposed "action" movie does not even try to be serious. It is sheer farce. The "Crackerjack" name is a misleading gimmick. There is no continuity with anything from before. The music, tone, pacing, acting, and characters are all suited for a bad comedy, not a drama. Everything in the film, including the rag-tag assortment of elderly ex-spies, assembled by Svenson to combat his corrupt successor as head of a covert spy agency, seem to be played for an unfunny joke. The story is so thin, disorganized, slow-moving, aimless, and boring that the only thoughts it provokes are of the clock and the fast-forward button. The prior review gives a fuller description, with which I agree, except for its belabored, undue partiality for the actor playing the villain; he floundered as ineffectively as everybody else in the film.

I can honestly think of nothing good to say. This movie is as close to a pointless, worthless waste of time and money as any I have ever seen.